Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one clear reason and a specific example. Avoid repetition and awkward phrasing (e.g., “tangible”). Use linking words to connect ideas and keep answers within 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of landscapes. I find that looking back at those images helps me relax because they remind me of peaceful moments, for example a calm lakeshore I photographed last summer. Because of that, I often carry my camera when I go for walks.

제안: Give a clear direct answer first (urban or rural), then support it with one or two specific reasons and a concise example. Avoid vague words like “peculiar” and finish your sentence. Use linking words such as “because” or “for example” to structure your response.

예시: I prefer urban views. Urban areas offer varied architecture and lively streets that create interesting photo opportunities, especially at sunrise and sunset when the light hits buildings. For example, I once photographed a city skyline at dusk and the colors reflected beautifully on the glass towers.

제안: Answer directly and use conditional language if lack of experience: state your preference or explain uncertainty, then give a reason and an example. Avoid awkward phrases like “their scenario” and use specific vocabulary (e.g., landscapes, scenery). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I'm not sure because I've only traveled within my own country, but based on photos I've seen I think some foreign landscapes, like alpine mountains, look more dramatic than ours. If I had the chance to visit, I'd like to compare them in person to see which I prefer.

× I do as someone who doesn't take pictures of people or anything that is tangible.

✓ I do, as someone who doesn't take pictures of people or tangible subjects.

The original sentence is awkward and contains redundancy ('anything that is tangible'). This is a sentence structure issue: simplify 'anything that is tangible' to 'tangible subjects' and add a comma after 'I do' for clarity. Suggestion: remove redundant words and use parallel, concise phrasing.

× I do like taking pictures of different views because I want to look at it after taking it and I think reminiscing it from the views it will give me sense of relaxation.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views because I want to look at them afterward, and I think reminiscing about those views gives me a sense of relaxation.

Errors: incorrect pronoun number ('it' for 'pictures' should be 'them'), awkward verb forms ('reminiscing it from the views'), and word order. This is a present tense and pronoun problem: use plural pronouns with plural nouns and correct verb patterns: 'reminiscing about something' and 'gives me a sense of relaxation.' Suggestion: use 'them' for pictures, 'afterward' for time, and 'reminiscing about' followed by plural noun.

× As someone who lived in an urban area before and now living in a rural rural area, I think I prefer taking views in the urban areas because the views there are peculiar and it has different sceneries, especially the sunset and the sunrise because when you are in a rural area there are.

✓ As someone who lived in an urban area before and now lives in a rural area, I think I prefer urban views because they are more varied, especially at sunrise and sunset.

Multiple problems: inconsistent verb forms ('lived' then 'now living' should be parallel), repetition ('rural rural'), incorrect subject-verb agreement ('it has different sceneries'), wrong noun choice ('sceneries' is less natural than 'scenery' or 'views'), and an incomplete clause at the end. This is a present tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure issue. Suggestion: maintain parallel verbs ('lived' and 'now lives' or 'lived' and 'now live' depending on subject), remove repetition, use plural pronouns for 'views,' and complete the thought concisely.

× I cannot tell as I have not been in any country other than our country, but I saw pictures from other countries of their views of their mountains and other sceneries and I think their scenario is better than ours.

✓ I can't say because I have not been to any country other than my own, but I have seen pictures of mountains and other scenery in other countries, and I think their landscapes look better than ours.

Errors: wrong preposition ('been in' should be 'been to' for visiting countries), awkward phrase 'our country' vs 'my own,' simple past vs present perfect inconsistency ('saw' should be 'have seen' to link past experience to present opinion), incorrect noun choices ('sceneries' and 'scenario' are incorrect here), and word order. This is a present tense and incorrect use of nouns/prepositions issue. Suggestion: use 'been to,' 'my own,' 'have seen,' and 'scenery' or 'landscapes' for natural phrasing.