Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and use correct grammar and specific details. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons or examples using linking words. Avoid vague phrases like "what is big" and incorrect collocations such as "catch world of the moment."

예시: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views. For example, I enjoy photographing coastal sunsets because the colours change quickly, and city skylines at night because the lights create dramatic contrasts. This helps me capture unique moments and improve my photography skills.

제안: Provide a direct topic sentence and give clear, specific reasons with correct vocabulary. Replace unclear words (e.g., "shelling") with appropriate terms like "modern" or "bustling," and use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: I prefer urban views because cities are more dynamic and modern. For instance, I enjoy photographing tall buildings and busy streets since the architecture and neon lights create interesting compositions.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and expand with specific supporting details and a linking phrase. Explain how foreign views differ from domestic ones and give one concrete example or reason for your preference.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy exploring different cultures and landscapes. For example, when I travel abroad I like to photograph traditional markets and historic buildings, which show customs and colours I don't usually see at home.

× I'd like to see different views in different country, in different area, you know, just what is big.

✓ I'd like to see different views in different countries, in different areas; you know, just the big ones.

The nouns 'country' and 'area' should be plural because 'different' implies more than one. Use 'countries' and 'areas' for correct number agreement. Also 'what is big' is awkward; 'the big ones' is clearer and keeps the plural reference. Suggestion: make sure nouns that refer to multiple items are plural when modified by 'different' or similar words.

× I like to see world of them, catch world of the moment.

✓ I like to see the world through them, to capture moments.

The original phrases are ungrammatical and unclear. 'World of them' is not a correct phrase; use 'the world through them' (meaning through the pictures). 'Catch world of the moment' mixes forms; 'capture moments' uses the verb 'capture' with plural noun 'moments', which fits the intended meaning. Use the infinitive 'to capture' or simple verb form 'capture' after 'like to' consistently.

× Actually I prefer like the urban areas because I'm pretty young, so I like to see different cities in the world because it's shelling and technology maybe.

✓ Actually I prefer urban areas because I'm quite young, so I like to see different cities in the world because of their culture and technology.

'Prefer like the urban areas' is incorrect: use 'prefer urban areas' or 'like urban areas'. 'Pretty young' is informal; 'quite young' is more natural. 'It's shelling' is incorrect and unclear; likely meant 'its culture' or 'its scenery'. 'Because of' introduces a reason and should be followed by a noun phrase ('their culture and technology'). Suggestion: use 'because of' for reasons and choose accurate nouns like 'culture' or 'scenery'.

× so I like to see different cities in the world because it's shelling and technology maybe.

✓ so I like to see different cities in the world because of their culture and technology.

The pronoun 'it's' (singular) does not agree with the plural 'cities'. Use 'their' to refer back to 'cities'. Also 'shelling' is incorrect vocabulary here; replace with 'culture' or 'scenery'. Use 'because of' to link to nouns as reasons.

× Actually, I prefer views in other countries because I like to explore the different countries, different culture.

✓ Actually, I prefer views in other countries because I like to explore different countries and different cultures.

'Different culture' should be plural 'different cultures' when referring to multiple countries. Also 'the different countries' is redundant after 'other countries'; use 'different countries' for consistency. Ensure parallel structure when listing items ('different countries and different cultures').