Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cümleleri daha kısa ve akıcı hale getir. Bazı dil bilgisi hataları ve kelime seçimleri (örneğin “my around”, “whether”, “over it”) anlamı karıştırıyor. Net bir ana cümle kurduktan sonra, bir bağlaçla (because, although, but) sebep veya gelişmeyi belirt. Ayrıca zamir ve tense kullanımına dikkat et (I used to struggle / I got over it).

예시: Yes, I do. However, I feel shy taking photos when there are many strangers around because I think they are watching me. I used to struggle with this anxiety, but I have gradually gotten over it as I got older.

제안: Yanıtınız açık ama ifadelerinizde dil bilgisi ve ifade bozuklukları var (“look at you and realizing”, “every process that made by human”). Daha doğal bir topic sentence kullanın ve nedenleri mantıklı bağlaçlarla bağlayın (for example, because, moreover). Spesifik örnekler veya bir şehir ismi ekleyerek içeriği zenginleştirin.

예시: I prefer urban areas because cities often showcase interesting history, architecture and culture. For example, in my city you can see old buildings and modern museums close to each other, which reflects human creativity and the layers of history.

제안: Cümlelerde önemli dil bilgisi hataları ve anlamsal belirsizlikler var (“impossible to find in anywhere”, “the best and E culture”). Daha doğru kelime seçimiyle ve net cümle yapılarıyla ifadeyi düzeltin. Spesifik ve düzgün örnek verin: iki farklı dini yapıların yakınlığı gibi. Ayrıca gereksiz tekrarları çıkarın ve en fazla 4-5 cümlede kalın.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because our landscapes and historical sites are unique. Our culture is diverse, and you can often find a mosque and a church standing close to each other, which shows how different traditions coexist here.

× Yes I do but if my around is full of strangers I can get shy while I'm taking pictures whether it's a selfie or not because I feel like they are watching me.

✓ Yes, I do, but if my surroundings are full of strangers I can get shy while I'm taking pictures, whether it's a selfie or not, because I feel like they are watching me.

The phrase 'my around' is incorrect; use 'my surroundings' or 'the area around me' (pronoun/noun error). Also add commas for clarity and plural agreement: 'surroundings are' (subject-verb agreement). Suggestion: replace 'my around' with 'my surroundings' and include commas to separate clauses.

× I was struggling with this anxiety before but I started to over it as I got older.

✓ I was struggling with this anxiety before, but I started to get over it as I got older.

The phrase 'started to over it' is missing the verb 'get' (correct past participle/verb form needed). Use the infinitive 'to get over' to express recovering from anxiety. Suggestion: use 'started to get over it' or 'got over it.'

× I prefer both of them, but if I had to choose, I would choose urban areas because cities have their special history, architecture and culture.

✓ I like both, but if I had to choose I would choose urban areas because cities have their own special history, architecture, and culture.

Use 'their own' rather than 'their' for clarity and natural phrasing; 'prefer both of them' is awkward for non-count general preference—use 'like both' (pronoun usage and style). Also add commas in a list. Suggestion: use 'their own special' and 'I like both'.

× I think it's better to look at you and realizing every touch, every process that made by human because it shows our creative mind.

✓ I think it's better to look closely and realize every detail and every process made by humans because it shows our creativity.

Mixed structures: 'to look at you and realizing' mixes infinitive and -ing incorrectly; replace with parallel structure 'to look closely and realize' or use gerunds consistently. 'That made by human' is missing passive article and plural: use 'made by humans.' 'Creative mind' better as 'creativity.' Suggestion: use parallel verbs and correct passive phrasing.

× I prefer views in my country because we have such a rich history and landscape that is impossible to find in anywhere.

✓ I prefer views in my country because we have such a rich history and landscapes that are impossible to find anywhere else.

'Landscape' should be plural to match 'such a rich history and landscapes' or rephrase; 'that is impossible' must agree with plural 'landscapes' so use 'that are impossible.' 'In anywhere' is incorrect; use 'anywhere else.' Suggestion: pluralize and use 'anywhere else.'

× We have the best and E culture at the same time which is very unique.

✓ We have the best of both cultures at the same time, which is very unique.

Original phrase 'the best and E culture' is unclear and likely a typo; correct to 'the best of both cultures.' Add comma before 'which.' 'Very unique' is redundant—'unique' suffices, but 'very unique' can be left colloquial. Suggestion: use 'the best of both cultures' and avoid 'very unique.'

× For example, we have mosque in church nearby.

✓ For example, we have a mosque and a church nearby.

Missing articles: use 'a mosque' and 'a church.' Also use 'and' to connect nouns and place 'nearby' at end. Suggestion: include indefinite articles and connect with 'and.'

× It's usual in here to find it's next to each other.

✓ It's common here to find them next to each other.

'Usual in here' is awkward; 'common here' is natural. 'It's next to each other' incorrectly uses 'it' for two items—use 'them' for plural. Suggestion: use 'common here' and correct pronoun to 'them.'