Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Keep the content relevant and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition (e.g., “scenery” and “nature” used twice) and unnecessary words like “a lot” without specifics. Use a linking phrase if you add an extra point.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. For example, I often capture rivers and parks in my city because I like how light reflects on water, and these shots help me practice composition.

제안: Make the answer more concise and structured: one topic sentence stating your preference, followed by two specific reasons linked by conjunctions or linking words. Remove filler phrases like “and all” and avoid long run-on sentences. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., ‘tranquil’ instead of ‘quieter’).

예시: Although I live in a city, I prefer rural views because they are tranquil and offer unobstructed vistas of fields and hills. For instance, I enjoy driving to nearby countryside to photograph rolling hills at sunrise because the light creates peaceful, atmospheric images.

제안: Provide a clearer topic sentence and specific reasons or examples. Correct grammar (e.g., “in another country” → “in other countries”; “a good cityscapes” → “interesting cityscapes”). Explain what makes foreign views preferable (architecture, atmosphere, or cultural variety).

예시: Although my country has beautiful places, I prefer views in other countries because their architecture and street scenes are more diverse. For example, I enjoyed photographing the historic squares and colorful buildings when I visited a European city, which offered textures and details you rarely see at home.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different views, especially the scenery in my city and taking a lot of pictures showing the nature.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views, especially the scenery in my city, and I take a lot of pictures showing nature.

The original uses 'taking' twice in a run-on structure and includes the unnecessary article 'the' before 'nature'. This is an issue with verb -ing form usage and sentence structure. Use parallel structures: combine clauses with 'and' and change the second 'taking' to a finite verb 'I take' for clarity. Remove 'the' before 'nature' because 'nature' is uncountable here. Suggestion: Keep one gerund phrase ('taking pictures') and use a separate clause for the additional action or make both parallel gerunds ('taking ... and capturing ...').

× I live in an urban area but I prefer rural views because I enjoy the natural scenery and the fresh air and all and rural areas are quieter and there are no tall buildings blocking the landscape unlike the urban areas so I can see the fields and hills which I find a very relaxing.

✓ I live in an urban area, but I prefer rural views because I enjoy the natural scenery and the fresh air. Rural areas are quieter, there are no tall buildings blocking the landscape, and I can see the fields and hills, which I find very relaxing.

This sentence is a long run-on with repeated conjunctions ('and all') and unclear clause boundaries — a sentence structure error. Break it into shorter sentences and remove colloquial filler 'and all'. Use commas and conjunctions to separate ideas and ensure relative clause 'which I find very relaxing' clearly refers to seeing the fields and hills. Suggestion: Divide complex ideas into two or three sentences for clarity. Note: No tense changes were needed; present simple is appropriate.

× There are lots of good places here in my country, but I still prefer views in another country as they have a good cityscapes.

✓ There are lots of good places here in my country, but I still prefer views in other countries because they have good cityscapes.

The phrase 'another country' with 'they' is inconsistent: 'another country' is singular while 'they' is plural, and 'a good cityscapes' mixes singular article with plural noun. This is an incorrect use of quantifiers and number agreement. Use 'other countries' to match 'they' and use 'good cityscapes' without the indefinite article. Suggestion: Ensure number agreement between noun phrases and pronouns and avoid using 'a' with plural nouns.