Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and add one specific example. Use linking words to connect ideas. Also correct minor phrasing issues (e.g., avoid repeating 'I'm').

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because I’m fond of photography. For example, when I visit a beach I take several shots with my phone to capture the colors of the sky and the waves. This helps me remember the place and share the best images with friends.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason with a brief example. Reduce wordiness (avoid filler like 'technically' and 'altogether') and use linking words like 'because' and 'so'.

예시: I prefer rural views because I find the greenery and blooming flowers very calming. For instance, I recently visited a village where the fields and wildflowers made a perfect backdrop for photos, so I took several pictures to remember the peaceful atmosphere.

제안: Be specific and avoid vague phrases and repetition. Start with a direct answer, give one or two concrete reasons and an example, and finish with a concise concluding remark. Avoid unfinished sentences.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because India has diverse landscapes and many beautiful natural sites. For example, I enjoy photographing the Himalayan foothills and tropical backwaters, so I plan to visit new regions to take more pictures and preserve those memories.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because I'm very I'm fond of photography.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because I'm very fond of photography.

There is a repeated and misplaced 'I'm' causing a grammatical and fluency error. Remove the extra 'I'm' to make the sentence grammatically correct and natural. Suggestion: read aloud to spot repeated words and ensure each clause is complete.

× I like to click pictures in my mobile phone and I click with clarity pictures.

✓ I like to take pictures with my mobile phone and I try to take clear photos.

The verb 'click' is informal and the phrase 'in my mobile phone' and 'click with clarity pictures' are awkwardly ordered. Replace 'click' with 'take', use 'with my mobile phone' and place 'clear' before 'photos' for natural English. Suggestion: use standard collocations like 'take pictures with a phone' and put modifiers before nouns.

× So whenever I visit some interesting places or whenever I see fascinating sceneries, I always make sure I click the pictures.

✓ So whenever I visit interesting places or see fascinating scenery, I always make sure I take pictures.

'Sceneries' is uncountable; use 'scenery'. 'Click the pictures' is nonstandard; 'take pictures' is preferred. Simplify by removing redundant 'whenever' and keep present simple tense for habitual action. Suggestion: use uncountable nouns correctly and common verbs for photography.

× I always prefer views in rural areas because it's exciting to see lots of greenery and beautiful flowers and plants blooming altogether and also I feel relaxed whenever I see that view.

✓ I always prefer views in rural areas because it is exciting to see lots of greenery and beautiful flowers and plants blooming together, and I feel relaxed when I see those views.

Use 'it is' instead of contraction separation; 'altogether' is incorrect here, use 'together'. 'That view' is singular while referring generally to views—use 'those views'. Also simplify conjunctions for clarity. Suggestion: match pronoun number to the noun and choose correct adverbs.

× So technically I would like to click my pictures and keep it as a memory to look.

✓ So I would like to take pictures and keep them as memories to look back on.

'Technically' is unnecessary and awkward. 'Click my pictures' and 'keep it as a memory' misuse verb and pronoun number—use 'take pictures' and 'keep them as memories'. Also add preposition 'back on' after 'look'. Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree in number and use appropriate verbs and prepositions.

× I prefer views in my own country because I live in a very beautiful country called India.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because I live in a very beautiful country, India.

The sentence is mostly correct but including 'called' is unnecessary; a comma before the country name is more natural. Suggestion: simplify appositive phrases by using commas.

× There we have lots and lots of places with amazing greenery and landscapes.

✓ There are lots and lots of places with amazing greenery and landscapes.

Beginning with 'There we have' is informal and nonstandard in this context. Use the existential 'there are' to indicate existence. Suggestion: use 'there are' + plural noun for locations or things.

× So there are more to explore in my country which I would like to.

✓ So there is more to explore in my country, which I would like to do someday.

'There are more to explore' is incomplete—use 'there is more to explore' or 'there are more places to explore'. Also 'which I would like to' is a dangling clause; complete it with 'to do someday'. Suggestion: ensure clauses are complete and idiomatic.

× I would like to do one day and click pictures to keep it as.

✓ One day I would like to travel and take pictures to keep as memories.

The original is fragmented and missing objects: 'do one day' is vague and 'keep it as' is incomplete. Reorder to 'One day I would like to travel and take pictures to keep as memories' to express intent clearly. Suggestion: provide a clear subject and object and avoid leaving phrases unfinished.