Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence, correct grammar, avoid religious aside unless relevant, and give a specific reason and an example. Use linking words to connect ideas. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they remind me of the natural beauty in my country. For example, I like photographing rivers and hills at sunset because the colors and reflections make me feel peaceful.

제안: Answer directly, avoid hesitation and repetition, and give one or two clear supporting details using linking words. Mention specific features of urban views and why you like them.

예시: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the architecture and lively streets. For instance, I like photographing modern buildings and busy squares since they show the city’s energy and design.

제안: Give a direct answer, correct grammar, and provide a specific reason and an example. Avoid vague phrases and unnecessary repetition. Use linking words like ‘because’ and ‘for example.’

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I want to see landscapes and architecture that are different from what I know. For example, I would love to photograph the historic streets of Europe or the dramatic coastlines of Asia to broaden my collection.

× Yes, I loved taking pictures of different views because I hate to remind me how good ripple our country and the Almighty God bless us as nature that can give us happiness.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures of different views because they remind me how beautiful our country is and how the Almighty God has blessed us with nature that gives us happiness.

The original sentence contains several pronoun and verb issues. 'Loved' conflicts with present preference; use present 'love' to match the ongoing habit. 'I hate to remind me' is incorrect pronoun and verb choice; use 'they remind me' ('they' refers to pictures) and 'remind' not 'remind me' with 'hate'. 'How good ripple our country' is ungrammatical—use 'how beautiful our country is'. 'The Almighty God bless us as nature that can give us happiness' mixes tenses and structure; use 'has blessed us with nature that gives us happiness.' Suggestions: keep consistent tense (present simple for habits), match pronouns to their antecedents, and order clauses so subject-verb-object are clear.

× But I love, uh, I love you in urban areas where you can see some buildings and also if you enjoy the views and also the other area you can see every.

✓ I prefer urban areas because you can see buildings and enjoy the views; in other areas you can see different scenery.

The original sentence has unclear pronoun use ('I love you' is incorrect; probably meant 'I love urban areas') and fragmented structure. Remove filler 'uh' and correct the object: 'urban areas' not 'you'. 'Also the other area you can see every' is incomplete; replace with 'in other areas you can see different scenery.' Suggestions: state preference clearly, avoid addressing the listener incorrectly, and complete comparative statements.

× I prefer in another country 'cause I have already seen some of the viewers in my country.

✓ I prefer other countries because I have already seen many of the sights in my country.

Using 'prefer in another country' is incorrect preposition and article usage; say 'prefer other countries' or 'prefer to visit other countries.' 'Viewers' is the wrong word for sights or views; use 'sights' or 'views.' Also replace informal ''cause' with 'because.' Suggestions: use correct prepositions ('prefer other countries' or 'prefer to visit other countries') and correct nouns ('sights' rather than 'viewers').

× So I just want to explore more countries to make the difference and to capture some beautiful views to feel the blessings of God.

✓ So I want to explore more countries to experience different places and capture beautiful views to feel the blessings of God.

'To make the difference' is not idiomatic here; use 'experience different places' or 'see different places.' 'I just want' is acceptable but 'just' is unnecessary; use 'I want.' The structure uses infinitives correctly, but word choice should be natural. Suggestions: use idiomatic verbs with infinitives (e.g., 'to experience') and remove unnecessary words for clarity.