Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific reasons or an example. Reduce fillers like “I guess” and use precise phrasing (e.g., “captures memories”).

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views because it’s a relaxing hobby and helps me capture memories. For example, when I photograph a sunset at the beach I can later recall the colours and atmosphere clearly.

제안: Give a direct answer and then explain with a clear, specific reason. Remove filler sounds (uh, um) and finish your thought—explain why congestion affects your preference, or give a contrast. Use one linking phrase such as “because” or “so”.

예시: I prefer rural views because they are quieter and more spacious. For instance, rural landscapes usually have open fields and clear skies, which feel more peaceful than the crowded, noisy city streets.

제안: Answer directly and give specific contrasting examples. Remove hesitations and make the comparison concise: state your overall view, then briefly illustrate with one or two clear examples. Use linking words like “for example” or “for instance”.

예시: I don’t favour one country over another because each has its own beauty. For example, Scandinavian countries offer snowy landscapes and dramatic coastlines, while parts of the Middle East feature striking desert scenery.

× I like taking pictures of different views because I see it as a hobby.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views because I see them as a hobby.

The pronoun 'it' incorrectly refers to 'pictures of different views' (plural). Use the plural pronoun 'them' to agree with the plural noun. Suggestion: match pronoun number to its antecedent (singular/plural).

× And I guess when you take pictures you make them memorable and it's precious.

✓ And I guess when you take pictures you make memories and they are precious.

The original mixes ideas and uses 'it' with 'precious' incorrectly. 'Make them memorable' is unclear; 'make memories' is natural. 'They' must agree with 'memories' (plural). Also 'are' is needed for plural. Suggestion: use clear nouns ('memories') and ensure pronoun and verb agree in number.

× Umm, I prefer uh, rural areas because, uh, the congestion in the cities, uh, makes me think about how we live in all these.

✓ Umm, I prefer rural areas because the congestion in the cities makes me think about how we live in them.

Phrase 'in all these' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace with the pronoun 'them' to refer to 'cities' (plural) and remove filler words. Suggestion: use clear pronouns matching number and avoid vague phrases like 'all these'.

× Uh, actually I don't prefer uh, any country because I believe every country has its beauties.

✓ Uh, actually I don't prefer any country because I believe every country has its own beauty.

'Has its beauties' is awkward; use 'its own beauty' or 'its own beauties'. Also 'any country' is fine. Suggestion: use 'its own' to show possession and prefer uncountable 'beauty' or plural 'beauties' depending on meaning.

× For example, uh, when you go to Scandinavian countries you see snow and in Middle East you see desert.

✓ For example, when you go to Scandinavian countries you see snow, and in the Middle East you see deserts.

Geographical names require the definite article 'the' with 'Middle East'. Also 'desert' should be plural or preceded by an article ('a desert') when speaking generally; 'deserts' is natural. Suggestion: use 'the Middle East' and pluralize general countable nouns when speaking about typical features.