Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organize your response with a clear topic sentence followed by one or two specific supporting details. Reduce hesitation words (umm, uh) and avoid repetition. Use linking words (for example, because) to connect ideas and provide a concrete example or brief explanation of what kinds of landscapes you prefer and why.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views, especially landscapes because they capture memorable moments. For example, I love photographing coastal sunsets and mountain ranges since they show dramatic colors and peaceful scenery, which remind me of special trips.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give two specific reasons with linking words (because, while, however). Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Provide a short comparison between urban and rural views with a concrete example of what you enjoy in rural areas.

예시: I prefer rural areas because they offer open spaces and abundant greenery, whereas cities are often crowded with buildings. For instance, I enjoy photographing rice terraces and forests because they provide calm, natural backgrounds and interesting textures.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid vague or politically charged comments unless brief and relevant. Instead, focus on descriptive reasons why local landscapes appeal to you and mention a specific place or feature as an example.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because the Philippines has diverse natural scenery, from beaches to mountains. For example, I love photographing the lagoons in Palawan and the rice terraces in Banaue because they are unique and visually striking.

× Definitely, I like taking different pictures, especially landscapes, because it helps me to look back on those memories and to think that a lot of, umm, things in life are, uh, there are a lot of things in life.

✓ Definitely, I like taking different pictures, especially landscapes, because they help me to look back on those memories and to reflect on many things in life.

The subject 'taking different pictures' refers to 'pictures' (plural), so the verb phrase should agree: use 'they help' not 'it helps'. Also avoid repetition and awkward phrasing by using 'reflect on many things in life'. Use of plural pronoun matches plural noun and improves cohesion. Please note: corrected sentence replaces singular verb with plural to match its plural antecedent and simplifies repeated phrases.

× There's so much in life that needs to be seen and it really helps me to see the creation of God.

✓ There is so much in life that needs to be seen, and photography really helps me to appreciate God's creation.

The original sentence is repetitive ('see' twice) and unclear about the subject of 'helps me'. Replacing the vague pronoun with 'photography' clarifies the subject and using 'appreciate' avoids repetition. Also use of 'God's creation' is more natural in English possessive form.

× I would always opt for rural areas because a lot of a lot of the cities are full of buildings, infrastructures unlike in rural areas you can see all the greeneries, the open spaces and environmental like the nature.

✓ I would always choose rural areas because many cities are full of buildings and infrastructure, while in rural areas you can see greenery, open spaces and natural environments.

Multiple issues: repetition ('a lot of a lot of'), uncountable noun 'infrastructure' should be singular/non-count, and awkward phrase 'environmental like the nature'. Use 'choose' instead of 'opt for' for clarity, 'many cities' is concise, 'infrastructure' is uncountable, and 'greenery' and 'natural environments' are correct collocations. Also add contrast word 'while' to connect clauses properly.

× Nevertheless, having enough spaces is.

✓ Nevertheless, having enough space is important.

The original fragment lacks a clear predicate and is incomplete. 'Spaces' is unnecessary; 'space' as an uncountable noun is idiomatic. Add an adjective 'important' to complete the thought.

× Definitely in my own country, Philippines is one of the most rich countries, especially in greeneries and umm landscapes.

✓ Definitely in my own country; the Philippines is one of the richest countries, especially in greenery and landscapes.

Country names like 'the Philippines' require the definite article 'the'. Use comparative form 'richest' not 'most rich'. 'Greenery' is the correct uncountable noun, and 'landscapes' is fine. Also add a semicolon or conjunction to link clauses properly.

× It's just that the government does not put enough budget into developing these areas so that it would be more open to tourists.

✓ It's just that the government does not allocate enough budget to develop these areas so that they would be more open to tourists.

Use 'allocate' instead of 'put' for formal context and 'budget' is usually 'allocate a budget' or 'provide funding'. 'These areas' is plural, so follow with 'they' rather than 'it'. Maintain consistency in conditional 'would be' referring to plural subject.