Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct noun usage and word order, and limit to 2–4 supporting sentences. Use linking words to organize ideas and provide one specific example.

예시: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views. For example, I often photograph mountain clouds at sunrise because the light and shapes change quickly, creating dramatic scenes. I enjoy capturing those moments to share with friends and remember the trip.

제안: Give a clear preference first, then add a concise contrast with linking words. Avoid filler words, make nouns plural or precise, and provide a specific reason or example to support your preference.

예시: I prefer rural views because I enjoy natural landscapes like mountains and forests. However, I also appreciate city views at night, especially when the illuminated shops and skyline create a lively atmosphere.

제안: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and give one specific reason with an example. Avoid hesitations and repetition, correct grammar (e.g., 'another country', 'I have never seen'), and keep it to two or three sentences.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy discovering landscapes and cultures I haven't seen before. For instance, I would love to photograph traditional villages in Japan to experience different architecture and colors.

× Of course, I do really like capturing the nature of view and the Clouds Mountain are like this and the view was definitely beautiful so I would like to take them.

✓ Of course, I really like capturing the beauty of nature and views of mountains and clouds, and the view was definitely beautiful so I would like to take them.

The sentence contains article and noun phrase issues: 'the nature of view' is unnatural; use 'the beauty of nature' or 'nature's beauty'. 'the Clouds Mountain' is incorrect article and word order; use 'mountains and clouds' or 'views of mountains and clouds'. Also 'do really like' is redundant; use 'really like'. These changes make noun phrases grammatical and clearer. Suggested improvement: use natural collocations (e.g., 'beauty of nature', 'views of mountains and clouds') and avoid unnecessary auxiliary 'do' for emphasis.

× Of course, I do really like capturing the nature of view and the Clouds Mountain are like this and the view was definitely beautiful so I would like to take them.

✓ Of course, I really like capturing the beauty of nature and views of mountains and clouds; the view was definitely beautiful so I wanted to take them.

'Clouds Mountain are' shows subject-verb disagreement and incorrect noun formation. 'Mountain' should be plural 'mountains' and agree with plural verb 'are', but better rephrase as 'views of mountains and clouds'. Also 'would like to take them' should match past observation 'was' — use 'wanted' or keep consistent tense. Suggested improvement: ensure plural nouns and verbs agree and prefer natural noun phrases.

× I definitely like the countryside view because the nature and the mountain.

✓ I definitely like countryside views because of the natural scenery and the mountains.

The original lacks parallel structure and clear preposition use: 'because the nature and the mountain' is missing 'of' and plural agreement. Rephrase to 'because of the natural scenery and the mountains' to make the cause explicit and parallel. Suggested improvement: include 'because of' for reasons and keep nouns parallel and correctly pluralized.

× I really love them and but sometimes I also do like country, uh, city view.

✓ I really love them, but sometimes I also like country or city views.

Using 'and but' is redundant; choose one conjunction. 'do like' is unnecessary; simple 'like' is better. 'country, uh, city view' is unclear; use 'country or city views' for clarity and correct plural. Suggested improvement: avoid combining contradictory conjunctions and simplify verbs for natural speech.

× Umm, especially at night, the store and the sky.

✓ Umm, especially at night, the stores and the sky are beautiful.

The fragment lacks a verb and clear article use. 'the store and the sky' is singular and unclear; 'stores and the sky' with verb 'are' completes the sentence. Ensure complete clause with subject and verb. Suggested improvement: complete fragments into full sentences and ensure consistent pluralization.

× To be honest, I would like to view an another country because I want the new things and new view, umm, that I never seen before.

✓ To be honest, I would like to visit another country because I want new experiences and new views that I have never seen before.

Errors: 'view an another country' incorrect verb and article — use 'visit another country'. 'the new things and new view' unnatural; use 'new experiences and new views'. 'that I never seen before' is present perfect required: 'have never seen before'. Suggested improvement: use appropriate verbs ('visit'), correct articles ('another' without 'an'), and present perfect for experiences continuing to present.

× Yeah, I'm really excited about that. I really preferred another country. It's so.

✓ Yeah, I'm really excited about that. I really prefer another country; it's so exciting.

'I really preferred another country' wrongly uses past tense 'preferred' while referring to a current preference — use present 'prefer'. 'It's so.' is incomplete; add adjective 'exciting' to complete thought. Suggested improvement: maintain tense consistency when stating preferences and finish clauses with descriptive words.