Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar and clarity: start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb tenses and articles, and avoid redundancy. Add one specific detail about what kinds of views you photograph and why, using a linking word to connect ideas. Keep the answer to no more than five sentences.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially when I travel. For example, in 2024 I visited London and took many photos of city landmarks and riversides. I particularly like capturing architectural details and street scenes because they show local character. Also, I edit some shots later to highlight colors and mood.

제안: Work on fluency and coherence: give a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then use linking words (for example, because, so, therefore) to add two specific reasons with clear vocabulary. Avoid filler words (uh, yeah) and complete your sentence logically.

예시: I prefer rural areas because they offer peaceful scenery and natural details. For example, I love photographing rolling fields, colorful wildflowers, and streams because their calm atmosphere helps me relax. As a result, my photos often feel more tranquil and evocative than busy urban shots.

제안: Clarify and expand: begin with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons why you prefer views abroad. Use accurate vocabulary (replace unclear words like “stitches” and “customers”) and link ideas with words like because or for example. Keep it concise and specific.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because traveling lets me see unfamiliar landscapes and cultural scenes. For example, I enjoy photographing traditional markets and historic architecture abroad because they reveal local customs and lifestyles. Therefore, travel photos often feel more interesting and diverse than shots from home.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different views, especially in the travel.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views, especially when I travel.

The use of the definite article 'the' before 'travel' is incorrect. 'Travel' here should be used as a verb or as an uncountable noun without an article. Replacing the phrase with 'when I travel' makes the meaning clear and grammatically correct. Suggestion: use time clauses like 'when I travel' or 'while traveling'.

× For example, in 2024 I travel to the UK, London, UK and I take many different kinds and use photos.

✓ For example, in 2024 I traveled to London, UK and I took many different kinds of photos.

The sentence refers to a past event (2024), so past tense verbs are required. 'Travel' and 'take' should be 'traveled' and 'took'. Also 'many different kinds and use photos' is ungrammatical; it should be 'many different kinds of photos'. Suggestion: match verb tense to the time reference and use correct noun phrases ('kinds of photos').

× I prefer rural areas yeah great grounds yeah beautiful flowers, uh yeah flowing water.

✓ I prefer rural areas: great grounds, beautiful flowers, and flowing water.

The original lacks proper conjunctions and punctuation and includes filler words. While subject-verb agreement is not the main issue, the list needs proper coordination ('and') and removal of fillers to be grammatically correct. Suggestion: list items clearly with conjunctions and avoid filler words in formal speech.

× I think uh this kind this kind of things uh uh, we all may make me relaxing and.

✓ I think this kind of thing makes me feel relaxed.

The original is fragmented, repetitious and ungrammatical. Correct structure requires a clear subject and verb agreement: 'this kind of thing' (singular) takes 'makes' and the verb phrase should be 'makes me feel relaxed' rather than 'make me relaxing'. Suggestion: simplify to a single clause with correct subject-verb agreement and idiomatic expression.

× I prefer views in other countries. I like travel.

✓ I prefer views in other countries. I like to travel.

'I like travel' is ungrammatical in standard English; after 'like' use the infinitive 'to travel' or the gerund 'traveling' (I like traveling). Suggestion: use 'I like to travel' or 'I like traveling' to express preference.

× I like to experience different, to see different views and experience their stitches and habits, customers, customs.

✓ I like to see different views and experience their cultures and customs.

The original repeats 'experience' and uses 'their stitches and habits, customers' which is incorrect. 'Stitches' is wrong word likely intended 'customs' or 'traditions'; 'customers' is incorrect. Use 'their cultures and customs' to refer to ways of life. Also remove redundant 'to experience different' fragment. Suggestion: choose correct nouns ('culture', 'customs') and avoid repetition.