Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make your answer clearer and more natural by using a direct topic sentence and adding one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases (e.g. “When I see outside, I can see”). Use a linking phrase to connect ideas and keep it within 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I always look out the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy watching changing landscapes. For example, I like spotting local architecture and countryside views, which helps me imagine what the place will be like when I arrive.

제안: Be more concise and correct small grammar mistakes. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific example and a linking word to show reason or frequency. Avoid repeating “sometimes” and correct articles and plural forms.

예시: Yes, I sometimes take photos of scenery outside the car window because the views can be spectacular. For instance, last month I photographed a dramatic sunset over rolling hills while driving through the countryside.

제안: Improve sentence structure and coherence by using a clear topic sentence followed by linked reasons. Replace informal phrasing (e.g. “swim in all day”) with natural expressions and limit to 2–3 sentences with specific supporting details.

예시: I prefer the sea because I love swimming and water sports, so I usually spend the whole day at the beach when the weather is warm. In addition, coastal areas offer activities like snorkeling and beach volleyball, which I really enjoy.

× Yes I do, I always look out the window, especially when I travel.

✓ Yes, I do. I always look out the window, especially when I travel.

Punctuation and sentence boundary: the original uses commas where sentences should be separated. This is not a tense error but a sentence structure/ punctuation issue affecting clarity. Suggestion: separate independent clauses into distinct sentences and add a comma after introductory yes.

× When I see outside, I can see.

✓ When I look outside, I can see the scenery.

Incorrect verb choice and missing object: 'see outside' is unnatural; 'look outside' is correct, and include an object (the scenery) to clarify meaning. Also restructure for natural English.

× The place I visit later and it gives me free.

✓ I think about the places I will visit later, and it makes me feel free.

Several issues: incorrect tense and structure. 'The place I visit later' lacks context and needs a verb phrase. 'It gives me free' is ungrammatical; use 'makes me feel free'. Also change to future reference with 'will' or 'I think about' for intent.

× It is too amazing not to take a photos of that.

✓ It is too amazing not to take a photo of it.

Article and pronoun errors: 'a photos' mixes singular article with plural noun — should be 'a photo'. 'That' as object is less natural than 'it' referring to the scenery. Also word order: 'take a photo of it' is correct.

× I definitely prefer the sea because I like swimming so when I go to the sea I always swim in all day unless it is really cold.

✓ I definitely prefer the sea because I like swimming, so when I go to the sea I always swim all day unless it is really cold.

Word order and extra preposition: 'swim in all day' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'swim all day'. Add a comma before 'so' to join clauses. Tense is present habitual, which is appropriate.

× And there are a lot of activities I can enjoy near the sea.

✓ There are a lot of activities I can enjoy near the sea.

Stylistic: leading 'And' is unnecessary at sentence start in formal responses. Remove it for cleaner sentence. The present tense and structure are otherwise correct.