Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: begin with a direct topic sentence, then briefly give one specific reason and a coping detail. Avoid redundancy (e.g., 'nauseous' and 'want to throw up' say the same thing). Use a linking word if adding a short extra detail.

예시: Not really. I avoid looking out of the window because I get car sick, which makes me feel nauseous. For that reason, I usually focus on my phone or close my eyes to feel better.

제안: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid unclear phrases and grammar errors ('cat trip' likely meant 'car trip'; last sentence is confusing). Keep it under five sentences and use linking words such as 'because' or 'so'.

예시: Yes, I often take photos from the car or bus because I want to preserve the view as a memory. For example, I usually photograph interesting landscapes and later sort the best shots into an album.

제안: Start with a direct statement of preference, then give a concise, specific reason. Avoid repeating the same adjective ('mysteriousness' and 'mysterious') and clarify awkward phrases (e.g., 'nobody knows the depth'). Use one linking word to connect reason and example.

예시: I prefer the sea because I find its vastness and unknown depths fascinating. For instance, I enjoy watching the waves and imagining what lies beneath, which feels more intriguing to me than mountain scenery.

× No, I do not look out the window because I get car sickness which makes me very nauseous or want to throw up so I just avoid looking.

✓ No, I do not look out the window because I get car sick, which makes me very nauseous and want to throw up, so I just avoid looking.

Tense is present and acceptable, but there are grammar issues: 'car sickness' is better as 'car sick' (adjective) and coordination needed between 'nauseous' and 'want' using 'and' with parallel structure. Also add a comma before the relative clause 'which' for clarity. Suggestion: use parallel structure for linked symptoms and correct adjective form for natural expression. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× Yes, I like to take pictures of the surroundings during a cat trip or a bus trip.

✓ Yes, I like to take pictures of the surroundings during a car trip or a bus trip.

The word 'cat' is a spelling error; 'car trip' is singular and appropriate. This is a lexical error rather than grammar, but it affects meaning. Ensure correct word choice: 'car trip'. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× However, the case may be because I want to hold on to these memories and cherish them for as long as possible.

✓ However, I do this because I want to hold on to these memories and cherish them for as long as possible.

Original sentence has unclear subject 'the case may be' and awkward structure. Rewriting clarifies the subject and intention. Keep present tense to match context and use a clear subject and verb. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× But there are four or five years.

✓ But it has been four or five years.

The original fragment lacks a clear subject and verb and does not express the intended duration. Use present perfect 'has been' to indicate duration from past to present. This corrects tense and sentence completeness. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× I love the mysteriousness of the sea, it's so mysterious and I find it interesting that nobody knows the depth but to see, making it a very intriguing sight for me.

✓ I love the mystery of the sea; it is so mysterious, and I find it interesting that nobody knows its full depth, which makes it a very intriguing sight for me.

Use 'mystery' instead of awkward noun 'mysteriousness'. Replace contraction with 'it is' or keep contraction consistently. 'Nobody knows the depth but to see' is ungrammatical; replace with 'nobody knows its full depth'. Use a relative clause 'which makes...' to link cause and effect. Ensure possessive 'its' for 'depth'. This fixes adjective/noun choice and sentence clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 13