Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 発音の曖昧さと過度のためらい（uhなど）が流暢さを妨げています。また文の構造がやや混乱しており、主述がはっきりしていません。改善点は次の通りです：1) 間を無意味な声音で埋めない。代わりに短いポーズをとる。2) 直接的なトピック文（I do look out of the window...）で始め、1〜2の具体的な理由や感情を付け足す。3) 文は最大5文以内に収め、簡潔に述べる。具体的練習として、ゆっくり読み上げて息継ぎを意識すること。

예시: Yes, I do. I usually travel by plane, and I enjoy looking out of the window because the views make me feel relaxed and excited. For example, seeing clouds or a coastline from above always cheers me up.

제안: 内容は伝わりますが、語順や冠詞・複数形の誤り（the Instagram → Instagram, their view → the views, coast area → coastal areas）ややフォーマルさの欠如があります。改善点：1) 正しい冠詞と複数形を使う。2) リンク語（for example, especially）を使って具体例を自然につなげる。3) 1〜2文で理由と具体例を述べる練習をする。

예시: Yes, I do. I often take photos through the window and post them on Instagram because I like to share the views. For example, I especially enjoy snapping pictures of mountains and coastal areas.

제안: 発言が混乱しており、文法や語彙（bags→bugs?、bedroom bad memory→bad memory, prefer to see→prefer the sea）に多くの誤りがあります。論理の流れも不明瞭で、理由を整理して提示する必要があります。改善点：1) まず明確に結論を示す（I prefer the sea.）。2) 理由を順序立てて2つまで述べ、each reasonをlinkers（first, second）でつなぐ。3) 語彙の正確さを確認する（insects, bugs, traumatic→strongly affected）。4) 冗長な表現を避け、全体で3文以内にまとめる。

예시: I prefer the sea. First, I like swimming, so the beach is more enjoyable for me. Second, I dislike insects, and I once had a bad experience with bugs in a mountain cabin, so I feel uncomfortable staying there.

× First of all, uh, I when I travel, I usually use the, uh, plane, so when I see the scenery from the window it makes me relax and uh uh, excited.

✓ First of all, when I travel I usually take a plane, so seeing the scenery from the window makes me feel relaxed and excited.

The sentence uses inconsistent and incorrect verb forms for general present habits. 'Use the plane' is unnatural; 'take a plane' or 'fly' is correct. 'When I see' should be changed to the gerund phrase 'seeing' to show the effect on the speaker. 'Makes me relax' should be 'makes me feel relaxed' to use correct adjective form and collocation. Also remove filler words and extra commas for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'I usually take a plane' for habitual actions and 'seeing the scenery... makes me feel relaxed and excited.'

× I take a photo from the window to post the Instagram because I'd like to share their view and scenic area, especially mountain and coast area.

✓ I take photos from the window to post on Instagram because I'd like to share the view and scenic areas, especially mountains and coastal areas.

Pronoun 'their' is incorrect because there is no clear plural owner; use 'the view'. 'Post the Instagram' is incorrect preposition; correct phrase is 'post on Instagram'. Plurals: 'photo' -> 'photos' and 'area' -> 'areas' to match 'mountains and coastal areas'. Also 'coast area' is better as 'coastal area' or 'coastal areas'. Suggestion: Say 'post on Instagram' and use consistent plural forms: 'photos', 'scenic areas', 'mountains'.

× Before you see, because first of all I like swimming, secondly I don't like the insect or bags.

✓ To begin with, I like swimming; secondly, I don't like insects or bugs.

Phrase 'Before you see' is unclear and ungrammatical; use 'To begin with' or 'First of all'. 'The insect or bags' is incorrect article and word choice: use the plural 'insects or bugs' without 'the'. 'Bags' likely meant 'bees' or 'bugs' but assuming repetition: keep 'insects or bugs' consistent. Suggestion: Use clear discourse markers 'To begin with' and plural nouns without the definite article for general statements.

× So when I go to the mountain, I had a bedroom bad memory of the these insect and bugs so I couldn't even sleep.

✓ When I went to the mountains, I had a terrible memory of insects and bugs in the bedroom, so I couldn't even sleep.

Tense mismatch: 'go' (present) should match past 'had' — use past 'went' because the memory is past. 'Bedroom bad memory' is ungrammatical word order; 'a terrible memory of insects and bugs in the bedroom' is correct. 'the these' is redundant; use 'insects and bugs' without articles. Plural 'mountain' -> 'mountains'. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent by using past tense for past experiences and fix word order: 'I had a terrible memory of insects and bugs in the bedroom.'

× So it makes me traumatized so that's why I prefer to see.

✓ So it traumatized me, and that's why I prefer the sea.

'Makes me traumatized' is awkward; for a past experience use 'traumatized me' or 'it traumatized me'. 'Prefer to see' is unclear and incomplete; based on context question asked 'Do you prefer the mountains or the sea?' the intended meaning is 'I prefer the sea.' Use clear object after 'prefer'. Suggestion: Use simple past for the effect of a past event and state a clear preference: 'It traumatized me, so I prefer the sea.'