Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases (e.g., “than Monty,” “numerous months”). Also watch subject-verb agreement and adjective forms.

예시: Yes. There are many tall buildings near my home because I live in the most developed part of Taka City. For example, our street is lined with modern apartment towers that have attractive glass facades and well-designed common areas, which give the neighborhood a smart, upscale look.

제안: Good content and clear reasons. Improve coherence by using linking words instead of starting sentences with “Because.” Combine related ideas to avoid redundancy and add a brief specific example to support your reason.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing buildings because I like comparing older and newer styles. For example, I often photograph an early 1900s brick warehouse and a nearby contemporary glass office tower to study how materials, window styles, and decorative details have changed over time.

제안: Answer is direct and natural. Improve fluency by tightening sentences and using linking words (e.g., “because” once) and a brief reason why its history or view appeals to you.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit the Empire State Building because it is an iconic landmark with a rich history. I want to go to the observation deck to enjoy panoramic views of New York City and learn more about the building’s construction and role in the city’s development.

제안: Clear idea and balance of pros and cons. Make the structure cleaner: topic sentence stating your mixed view, then one sentence for advantages and one for disadvantages using linking words (e.g., “however,” “on the other hand”). Correct grammar and avoid generalizations like “almost always.”

예시: I have mixed feelings about living in a tall building. On the one hand, it offers great views and makes events like New Year’s fireworks easy to watch; on the other hand, I worry about safety during earthquakes, so I would only consider it if the building had strong seismic design and safety features.

× Yes, I do have a lot of tall buildings near my house since the area where I live than Monty is one of the most developed areas of Taka city.

✓ Yes, I do have a lot of tall buildings near my house since the area where I live, Monty, is one of the most developed areas of Taka City.

The sentence misuses 'than' and has unclear pronoun/reference structure. Replace 'than Monty' with apposition 'Monty' and add commas to clarify that Monty is the area. Also capitalize proper noun 'City'. This fixes pronoun/reference clarity and punctuation.

× And so our house or our building is surrounded by numerous months of tall buildings with really good or amazing infrastructures and which seem which have a very good aesthetic to it and are very smartly.

✓ Our building is surrounded by many tall buildings with very good infrastructure and attractive aesthetics; they also look very modern and smart.

Problems include 'numerous months of' (wrong noun), redundant phrasing, incorrect plural 'infrastructures', awkward relative clause 'which seem which have', wrong 'to it' and incorrect adverb 'smartly'. Replace with 'many tall buildings', use uncountable 'infrastructure', simplify relative clauses, and use adjective 'smart' to describe appearance. This corrects adjective/adverb misuse and improves clarity.

× Yes, I do love taking pictures of buildings.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures of buildings.

Using 'do' for emphasis is not ungrammatical but unnecessary in this context. Removing 'do' makes the sentence more natural while keeping the present continuous idea 'taking'. Present participle 'taking' is correctly used to indicate a habitual action.

× That is because I want to differentiate between the buildings that were built in the early 1900s with the ones which are being built right now.

✓ That is because I want to differentiate between the buildings that were built in the early 1900s and the ones that are being built now.

Use 'and' instead of 'with' to link two noun phrases. 'Were built' (past participle) correctly shows completed action; 'are being built' correctly shows present passive continuous. Replace 'which' with 'that' for restrictive clauses and 'right now' with 'now' for conciseness.

× Because I want to see the changes that have been brought to the infrastructure, the architecture and even the designs of the buildings so that I could have a lot of knowledge.

✓ Because I want to see the changes that have been brought to the infrastructure, the architecture, and the designs of the buildings so that I can learn a lot.

Mixes tenses/modalities: 'have been brought' (present perfect passive) is fine, but 'so that I could have a lot of knowledge' is awkward and shifts mood. Use 'can learn a lot' to express present intention. Also use parallel items and remove unnecessary articles.

× I would love to visit the Empire State Building in New York because I've heard so much about it, and it's placed or located in one of the most beautiful cities of the world, and there is history to it.

✓ I would love to visit the Empire State Building in New York because I've heard so much about it; it is located in one of the most beautiful cities in the world and has a lot of history.

Replace 'placed or located' with 'located' and 'of the world' with 'in the world'. 'There is history to it' is unnatural; use 'has a lot of history'. Use semicolon or shorter clauses for clarity.

× Yes, I would definitely want to live in a tall building because it's easier to see the fireworks on the New Year's Eve or to actually get a very beautiful panoramic view of the entire area around.

✓ Yes, I would definitely want to live in a tall building because it's easier to see the fireworks on New Year's Eve and to get a beautiful panoramic view of the surrounding area.

Replace 'the New Year's Eve' with 'New Year's Eve' and 'or to actually get a very beautiful panoramic view of the entire area around' with 'and to get a beautiful panoramic view of the surrounding area' for natural phrasing. The sentence structure and verb forms are correct; this mainly fixes article and word order issues.

× But then again, it's very unsafe for moments when earthquake happens because it's almost always a tall buildings which breakdown faster.

✓ But then again, it's very unsafe during earthquakes because tall buildings often collapse more quickly.

Several issues: 'for moments when earthquake happens' is unnatural—use 'during earthquakes'. 'It's almost always a tall buildings' has subject-verb and number mismatch; use 'tall buildings' without 'a' and make verb agree. 'Which breakdown faster' should be 'collapse more quickly'. This corrects subject-verb agreement, plurality, and awkward phrasing.