Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and clear. Start with a topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid unclear phrases and filler words. Use correct grammar for place names and simple prepositions.

예시: Yes. There are several tall buildings near my home because I live close to the city center. For example, there is a modern apartment block and an office tower about five minutes away, while my own house is an older, low-rise building.

제안: Give a clear direct answer and one specific condition when you would take photos. Avoid repetition and hesitations; use correct vocabulary (e.g. 'skyscraper', 'pyramid'). Keep the response to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Not usually. However, I sometimes photograph buildings when the sky looks dramatic or when the architecture is unusual, for example a nearby glass skyscraper or a historic pyramid-shaped museum.

제안: Answer directly and give a clear reason and a specific detail about the building you want to visit. Avoid vague generalizations; explain what interests you about the place.

예시: I would like to visit the Shangri-La Mall because it has a reputation for interesting shops and modern design. For instance, I want to see the rooftop garden and the large indoor market that I've heard about.

제안: Give a concise direct answer and one or two clear reasons with accurate terms. Avoid overgeneralization and incorrect cause-effect (tsunami from earthquake affecting tall buildings). Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' correctly.

예시: No, I wouldn't want to live in a tall building because I'm concerned about safety during earthquakes. Also, I prefer a smaller house because it feels more comfortable and easier to evacuate in an emergency.

× So I live in the small province which is called Zamud Burgers with the China.

✓ So I live in a small province in China called Zamud Burgers.

Used incorrect preposition 'with the China' and article 'the' before country. Use 'in' for location inside a country and omit 'the' before most country names. Also move the clause 'called Zamud Burgers' after 'China' for clarity.

× And because of the bird line, we have a lot of, uh, lot of tall buildings near my home and my home is quite old building, Yeah.

✓ And because of the border line, we have a lot of tall buildings near my home, and my home is quite an old building.

'bird line' is likely wrong word; 'border line' fits context. 'a lot of, uh, lot of' is redundant; use 'a lot of'. Need article 'an' before 'old building' because 'old' begins with a vowel sound.

× I don't, I don't usually take photos of buildings but if I see an exotic sky, sky rocket skyrocketed, uh, buildings? I would definitely capture the photo of the tall buildings like an pyramid or just an.

✓ I don't usually take photos of buildings, but if I see an exotic sky or impressive buildings, I would definitely take a photo of tall buildings like a pyramid or something similar.

Fixed redundancy 'I don't, I don't', unclear phrases 'sky rocket skyrocketed' and misuse of 'capture the photo' changed to 'take a photo'. Article 'an pyramid' should be 'a pyramid' because 'pyramid' begins with a consonant sound. Clarified 'or just an' to 'or something similar'.

× I don't quite usually dream about the, uh, visit some kind of buildings because I know everything has the same standards nowadays 'cause people more tend to prefer the minimally used, more regular styles.

✓ I don't usually dream about visiting buildings because I think everything has the same standards nowadays, since people tend to prefer minimal and more regular styles.

Corrected word order and verb forms: 'dream about the visit' -> 'dream about visiting'. 'more tend to prefer' -> 'tend to prefer'. 'minimally used' -> adjective 'minimal' fits better. Also replaced informal 'cause' with 'since' for clarity.

× So I would say definitely the Shangri-La Mall.

✓ So I would definitely say Shangri-La Mall.

Definite article 'the' is unnecessary before the proper name of a mall in this context. Moving 'definitely' improves natural word order.

× No, I don't wanna live in a tall building because the tall buildings are more dangerous than I expected because uh, because of the earthquake strike is uh, ocean tsunami, which is so dangerous to live in a tall uh, building.

✓ No, I don't want to live in a tall building because tall buildings are more dangerous in events like earthquakes or tsunamis.

Replaced informal 'wanna' with 'want to'. Removed redundancy and incorrect phrasing 'because of the earthquake strike is ocean tsunami'; instead use 'in events like earthquakes or tsunamis'. Simplified sentence for clarity and correct grammar.

× I would prefer the short 1.

✓ I would prefer a short building.

'the short 1' is ungrammatical and likely an attempt to say 'a short one'. Use 'a short building' or 'a short one' to refer to a short building; 'one' must replace a noun. Also use article 'a' for nonspecific single items.