Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “No, there aren’t many tall buildings near my home.”), avoid filler words like “uh” and redundant phrases, and give one specific reason or example (mention the Old Town and UNESCO) using a linking word such as “because”. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: No, there aren’t many tall buildings near my home because the city preserves a historic Old Town protected by UNESCO. As a result, development is restricted and most buildings around me are low-rise and traditional.

제안: Open with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I often photograph buildings.”) Remove fillers and group related details into coherent supporting sentences. Use linking words like “for example” and describe one or two specific features with precise vocabulary (e.g., “ornate facades” rather than a list of isolated terms).

예시: Yes, I often photograph buildings because I’m an architecture student interested in details. For example, I focus on ornate facades and pitched roofs in narrow historic streets, which create striking compositions.

제안: Be direct and concise: state the building and one or two clear reasons. Reduce repetitions and technical lists; if you use technical terms, link them logically (e.g., “because of its bold concrete structure and minimalist design”). Limit to 2–3 sentences and avoid fillers.

예시: I’d love to visit the Berlin TV Tower because of its bold concrete structure and minimalist design. I’m interested in how its load-bearing form and skyline placement create a striking urban landmark.

제안: Answer directly and avoid hesitation. Start with a clear stance (e.g., “No, I would prefer a small, one-story house.”) Then give two specific reasons using linking words like “because” or “so”. Use natural phrasing for amenities (e.g., “private courtyard,” “garden,” “garage”). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: No, I would prefer a small one-story house because I like having a private courtyard and a garden. It would also allow space for a garage or a small court for sports, which I find more practical.

× That's a great question. Uh, to be honest, uh, there is not that many skyscrapers around my city, uh, due to the fact of, uh, a historical Old Town that preserves, uh, a unique heritage, uh, connected into UNESCO.

✓ That's a great question. Uh, to be honest, uh, there are not that many skyscrapers in my city, uh, because of a historical Old Town that preserves a unique heritage and is connected to UNESCO.

Use 'there are' with plural noun 'skyscrapers' (There be issue). Replace 'around my city' with 'in my city' for natural preposition use (preposition choice). 'Due to the fact of' is wordy and incorrect; use 'because of'. 'Connected into UNESCO' is incorrect preposition and verb form; use 'connected to UNESCO' or 'listed by UNESCO'. Also combine clauses with 'and' and remove redundant 'uh' filler words. Suggestions: use 'there are' for plural, prefer concise connectors like 'because of', and use 'connected to' for affiliation.

× Of course, umm, since I'm an architecture student, I like to take, uh, building pictures to see the ornate, uh, architecture details.

✓ Of course, umm, since I'm an architecture student, I like taking pictures of buildings to see the ornate architectural details.

Use verb + -ing after 'like' when describing general preferences ('like taking') (Verb + -ing form). 'Building pictures' is a less natural noun order; use 'pictures of buildings'. 'Architecture details' should be the adjective 'architectural details' (incorrect use of adjectives). Suggestion: use 'like taking' for habitual actions and modify nouns correctly.

× Uh, uh, for instance, uh, pitched roof, narrow streets, tiny areas, uh, urbanistic, uh, zones.

✓ For instance, pitched roofs, narrow streets, small spaces, and urban zones.

The original is a list fragment lacking proper plurality and conjunctions (Sentence structure errors). 'Pitched roof' should be plural to match list, 'tiny areas' is better as 'small spaces', and 'urbanistic zones' is unnatural—use 'urban zones'. Add 'and' before final item. Suggestion: use consistent plurality in lists and natural collocations.

× That makes completely a beautiful picture.

✓ That makes a very beautiful picture.

Word order and modifier placement are incorrect (Sentence structure errors). 'Completely' does not naturally modify 'a beautiful picture'; use 'very' or 'completely' with different structure ('completely beautiful' is uncommon). Suggestion: use 'makes a very beautiful picture' or 'creates a completely beautiful image'.

× That's a great question. Of course, there is one building that I really would like to visit one day.

✓ That's a great question. Of course, there is one building that I would really like to visit one day.

Placement of 'really' is awkward though grammar isn't severe; keep verb forms simple. Use natural adverb placement 'I would really like' instead of 'I really would like'. This is a minor There be issue regarding word order and emphasis. Suggestion: place adverbs before the main verb for clarity.

× Uh, it's a Berlin TV tower because of an aggressive look made out of reinforced concrete, uh, load bearing structure, uh, minimalistic, uh, design and, uh, cohesive, uh, placement.

✓ It's the Berlin TV Tower because of its aggressive appearance made of reinforced concrete, its load-bearing structure, minimalistic design, and cohesive placement.

Use definite article 'the' for a specific landmark (article errors). 'Made out of' is less natural than 'made of' or 'constructed of' (preposition/phrase). 'Load bearing' should be hyphenated as 'load-bearing' and 'appearance' fits better than 'look'. Also add possessive 'its' for parallel listing. Suggestion: use 'the', prefer 'made of', hyphenate compound adjectives, and keep parallel structure.

× Oh that's a really great question. It depends. I would like to rather live. I'd rather live in a smaller building, 1 story building where you can also have your own courtyard and have a garden the same as basketball court or some any other garage placement.

✓ Oh, that's a really great question. It depends. I'd rather live in a smaller, one-story building where you can have your own courtyard, a garden, maybe a basketball court, or a garage.

Original contains broken sentences and incorrect conjunction/phrase choices (Incorrect use of conjunctions and sentence structure errors). Remove the fragmented 'I would like to rather live.' Use 'I'd rather live' followed by the full clause. '1 story building' should be 'one-story building' and items in list need parallel structure and natural articles. 'Some any other garage placement' is ungrammatical; use 'or a garage'. Suggestion: avoid fragments, use parallel lists, and use correct articles.