Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and redundancy, use clearer sentence structure and linking words. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Remove filler words like "umm" and "uh" and avoid repeating the same idea.

예시: Not really. There are only low-rise apartments next to my building. However, if you go to the upper part of the city, you will find many skyscrapers because that area is more commercial and densely populated.

제안: Be more concise and precise. Use linking words correctly and avoid unnecessary fillers. Provide one clear reason and one specific example to support your answer.

예시: Not really. I rarely photograph buildings when I'm in the city because I prefer candid street scenes. However, when I visit the countryside I often take photos of scenic views, such as rolling hills or rivers.

제안: Give a direct response and avoid contradicting phrases like "cannot recall" followed by a wish. Use one clear reason and correct vocabulary (avoid repeating words and fix mistakes). Limit to two or three sentences.

예시: I don't have a particular building in mind, but I would like to visit Times Square in New York City. I am attracted to the lively atmosphere and the bustling streets full of lights and people.

제안: Avoid vague or unclear phrases like "caring sense of it." Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one specific reason and one example. Remove fillers and repetitions.

예시: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because I enjoy panoramic city views. For example, I imagine watching the city lights at night and seeing people moving below from my balcony.

× Not really, there are just some low rise apartments next to my building.

✓ Not really, there are just some low-rise apartments next to my building.

The issue is hyphenation rather than singular/plural, but it fits under 'Singular and plural issue' because 'low rise' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective before a noun: 'low-rise apartments'. Use a hyphen to link words functioning together as an adjective to clarify meaning. Suggestion: Use 'low-rise apartments' when describing apartment type.

× However, if you visit the upper part of the city you would encounter lots of umm, sky scrapers and high rise buildings because, uh, that part of the city is more commercial and densely populated.

✓ However, if you visit the upper part of the city you will encounter lots of, umm, skyscrapers and high-rise buildings because that part of the city is more commercial and densely populated.

The conditional structure here mixes 'if' with 'would' which is less standard for a real condition referring to a likely future event. Use 'if' + present, then 'will' for the result ('first conditional'). Also 'sky scrapers' should be one word 'skyscrapers' and 'high rise' should be hyphenated as 'high-rise'. Remove extraneous commas and fillers for clarity. Suggestion: Use 'if you visit... you will encounter...' and correct compound words and hyphenation.

× Actually, I'm not that keen on taking photographs of buildings.

✓ Actually, I'm not that keen on taking photographs of buildings.

No grammatical change needed; sentence is correct. It uses present tense appropriately to express a general preference. Suggestion: None.

× I rarely take pictures when I'm walking around the city.

✓ I rarely take pictures when I walk around the city.

Using 'when' with habitual actions usually calls for the simple present rather than present continuous. 'I walk' is more natural than 'I'm walking' for repeated actions. Suggestion: Use simple present for habitual activities: 'when I walk around the city'.

× Uh, However, when I visit the countryside, I would definitely take some pictures from the scenic view or from the green areas that I encounter.

✓ However, when I visit the countryside, I will definitely take some pictures of the scenic views or of the green areas that I encounter.

For a likely future action linked to a real condition, use 'will' rather than 'would' (first conditional). Also use 'of' not 'from' when referring to taking pictures 'of' views; 'scenic view' should be plural 'scenic views' to match general experience. Suggestion: Use 'will' for probable future actions and correct preposition to 'of'.

× I cannot recall a specific building at the moment, but generally speaking I would really one day wish to visit New York City, especially Times Square.

✓ I cannot recall a specific building at the moment, but generally speaking I would really like to visit New York City one day, especially Times Square.

The phrase 'would really one day wish to visit' is awkward and ungrammatical. Use 'would really like to visit... one day' to express a wish politely. Maintain modal 'would' for a polite or hypothetical desire; reorder words for natural English. Suggestion: Say 'I would really like to visit New York City one day'.

× I like the feeling of the environment and the hassle of the and hustle and bustle of the city.

✓ I like the feeling of the environment and the hustle and bustle of the city.

There is a redundant and garbled phrase 'the hassle of the and hustle and bustle'. Remove the repeated words and the incorrect word 'hassle' if you mean 'hustle and bustle'. The corrected sentence uses the idiom 'hustle and bustle'. Suggestion: Use the idiom 'hustle and bustle' and avoid redundant words.

× Yes, I actually like the city view, so I am really hoping that one day I would be able to live in a high rise building.

✓ Yes, I actually like the city view, so I am really hoping that one day I will be able to live in a high-rise building.

When expressing a hopeful expectation about the future, use 'will' rather than 'would'. Also hyphenate 'high-rise' when used attributively before a noun. Suggestion: Use 'will' for expected future outcomes and hyphenate compound adjectives.

× I like the caring sense of it.

✓ I like the comforting sense of it.

'Caring sense' is odd when describing a building or city view. Likely intended meaning is 'cozy' or 'comforting'. Replace with an appropriate adjective like 'comforting' or 'cozy'. Suggestion: Choose an adjective that matches the intended feeling, e.g., 'comforting' or 'cozy'.

× So uh and and I enjoy watching the city lights and people rushing.

✓ So, I enjoy watching the city lights and people rushing by.

The original has disfluencies 'uh and and' and a missing preposition to complete the phrase 'people rushing'. Add 'by' to indicate people moving past and remove filler words. Suggestion: Remove filler repetitions and add 'by' for a complete expression.