Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh), repeat distances only once, and finish the sentence. Use linking words to connect ideas and include a brief specific detail (e.g., types of buildings).

예시: No, there aren’t any tall buildings close to my home. The nearest cluster of skyscrapers is about five kilometres away on MG Road, where there are many corporate offices and shopping malls.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence, reduce repetition, correct grammar (e.g., when I visit shopping complexes), and add a specific example and reason. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' to make it coherent.

예시: Yes, I often take photos of interesting buildings when I visit shopping complexes with friends because the architecture is eye-catching; for example, we photographed a modern glass mall last month to post on social media.

제안: Start with a concise topic sentence naming the building and location. Use linking words to add reasons and be specific about what you want to see (e.g., architecture, interior halls). Avoid repetition and correct phrasing (e.g., 'guarded by security').

예시: Yes, I would like to visit the Vidhan Soudha in Bangalore. Although it’s guarded by security and mainly used for official purposes, I’m curious about its grand architectural style and ornate interiors, so I hope to visit with friends when possible.

제안: Give a clear direct answer and a concise reason using correct vocabulary (e.g., 'I have acrophobia' or 'I’m afraid of heights'). Avoid repetition; combine sentences and add a brief implication about living preference.

예시: No, I wouldn’t want to live in a tall building because I’m afraid of heights (acrophobia), so I prefer living on the ground floor of a low-rise building where I feel more comfortable.

× There are no tall buildings near my home but there are like uh, 5 kilometres far away from my place.

✓ There are no tall buildings near my home, but there are some about 5 kilometres from my place.

The original mixes plural 'buildings' with a distance phrase incorrectly and uses '5 kilometres far away' which is unidiomatic. Use 'some' to indicate plural buildings and 'about 5 kilometres from my place' to express distance correctly. Also remove filler words for clarity.

× So there is a place called MG Road near my house that's 5 kilometres apart there where there are many corporates buildings and skyscrapers where you can.

✓ There is a place called MG Road about 5 kilometres from my house where there are many corporate buildings and skyscrapers.

Original has redundant and misplaced words ('apart there', 'where you can') and 'corporates buildings' is incorrect. Clean sentence structure: place + distance + relative clause. Use 'corporate buildings' (adjective + noun) and remove incomplete clause.

× Yes, I do take photos when I'm on buildings, when I visit shopping complex, when I go with my friends where we found, when we find a building that's more that's more mesmerizing, we take it with my friends to post on social medias.

✓ Yes, I take photos when I'm at buildings or when I visit a shopping complex with my friends; when we find a building that is really mesmerizing, we take photos to post on social media.

Multiple tense and preposition issues: 'do take' is unnecessary emphasis in this context; use 'at' for location ('at buildings' or better 'of buildings'), 'visit a shopping complex' needs article 'a', 'where we found' is incorrect tense and structure — use 'when we find'. 'more that's more mesmerizing' is repetitive; use 'really mesmerizing'. 'take it with my friends' should be 'take photos' and 'social medias' should be singular 'social media'.

× Yes, I do take photos when I'm on buildings, when I visit shopping complex, when I go with my friends where we found, when we find a building that's more that's more mesmerizing, we take it with my friends to post on social medias.

✓ Yes, I take photos of buildings, when I visit a shopping complex, or when I go with my friends; if we find a building that is really mesmerizing, we take photos to post on social media.

Prepositions: use 'photos of buildings' rather than 'on buildings'. Use article 'a' with 'shopping complex'. 'on social medias' should be 'on social media'. Reorganizing the sentence and correcting prepositions makes meaning clear.

× Yes, there is a building called Vidhan Sada.

✓ Yes, there is a building called Vidhan Sada.

This sentence is grammatically correct for existence (there is). No change needed other than confirming it fits context.

× I still want to visit that place with my friends.

✓ I still want to visit that place with my friends.

Sentence is correct; present simple 'want' appropriately expresses current desire. No change needed.

× So this place is like guarded with the securities where only politicians are allowed inside.

✓ This place is guarded by security, and only politicians are allowed inside.

'the securities' is incorrect; use 'security' as an uncountable noun. Use passive 'guarded by security' and simplify the clause. 'allowed inside' suffices; remove 'like' for formality.

× So I I want to, I'm eager to know what's inside and how the building is, how the interiors are.

✓ I am eager to know what is inside and what the interiors are like.

Original repeats pronouns and mixes clauses awkwardly. Use 'what is inside' and 'what the interiors are like' to form natural English. Avoid repeating 'I' and ordering clauses clearly.

× So I wanted to visit there.

✓ So I want to visit there.

Using past tense 'wanted' conflicts with present desire stated earlier. Use present 'want' to match current intention.

× Not really because I am amphobic so I get scared of tall buildings when I used to see from a high rise building I get nervous and I get scared so I have a phobia related to it.

✓ Not really, because I am acrophobic, so I get scared of tall buildings; when I look out from a high-rise building I feel nervous and frightened, so I have a related phobia.

'amphobic' is not the correct term; 'acrophobic' (or 'acrophobic' adjective 'acrophobic' / noun 'acrophobia') is appropriate. 'used to see' is incorrect here—use 'when I look out from'. Use varied vocabulary to avoid repetition ('nervous and frightened'). Hyphenate 'high-rise' as a compound adjective.

× So I don't prefer tall buildings. So I prefer small building in the ground floor rather.

✓ So I don't prefer tall buildings. I prefer a small building on the ground floor instead.

'small building' needs an article 'a'. Use 'on the ground floor' to indicate location and 'instead' is more natural than 'rather' at sentence end.