Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatical, concise and specific. Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, umm), fix grammar (there are no tall buildings near my home), and give a precise distance or reference point. Use one or two supporting details linked with a word like "however" or "instead".

예시: There are no tall buildings near my home. Instead, the nearest high-rise is in the IT district, which is about 1,550 kilometres away, so the area around my house is mostly low-rise residential buildings.

제안: Answer directly and expand with one clear reason and an example. Avoid vague fragments and unclear phrases. Use linking words like "because" or "for example" to make the answer coherent and include a specific detail about what you photograph.

예시: Yes, I do. I especially enjoy photographing tall buildings because of the way they reflect light and create interesting shapes; for example, I often shoot skyscrapers at sunset to capture the colors on their glass facades.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence naming the building, then add two specific reasons why you want to visit, linked with words like "because" and "for example." Remove hesitations and vague phrases like "let me feel that feeling."

예시: Yes, I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa because it is the tallest building in the region and offers spectacular views from the observation deck; for example, I want to see the cityscape and take photos from the top.

제안: Give a clear, grammatical reasoned answer with one or two specific points and a linking word like "because" or "although." Avoid repetition and unclear words like "the quad." Explain what you prefer instead with a brief contrast.

예시: No, I wouldn't like to live in a tall building because they tend to be crowded and less private. I prefer a quieter, low-rise house with a garden where I can have more space and fresh air.

× Actually there is no tall buildings near to our home.

✓ Actually there are no tall buildings near our home.

The noun phrase 'tall buildings' is plural, so the verb must be plural: 'are' not 'is'. Also 'near to' is incorrect; use 'near' without 'to'. Suggestion: match subject and verb number and use correct preposition: 'There are no tall buildings near our home.'

× the IT is umm, part of our from our home about maybe more than 1550 kilometer.

✓ It is about 1,550 kilometers from our home.

Incorrect prepositions and extra words: 'part of our from our home' is ungrammatical. Use 'from' to indicate distance and place the distance after 'about'. Use plural 'kilometers' and standard number formatting. Suggestion: simplify to 'It is about 1,550 kilometers from our home.'

× We prefer to take photos of tall buildings, one to the. Sky Buildings.

✓ We prefer to take photos of tall buildings, especially tall skyscrapers.

The original is fragmented and unclear. 'One to the. Sky Buildings' is not grammatical. Replace with a clear noun phrase like 'especially tall skyscrapers'. Maintain present tense 'prefer to take'. Suggestion: be concise and complete the thought: 'We prefer to take photos of tall buildings, especially skyscrapers.'

× Yes, definitely, uh, it will be. I would, I would travel, uh, I would visit Burj Khalifa, uh, the highest building in my area, the Gulf country.

✓ Yes, definitely. I would travel to visit the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the Gulf region.

Mix of tenses and unnecessary fillers: 'it will be' is unnecessary and awkward. Use conditional 'would' for hypothetical travel and 'travel to visit' or 'travel to' is correct. Use 'tallest' (superlative) for one highest building and 'Gulf region' is more natural than 'Gulf country'. Suggestion: remove fillers and use concise conditional phrasing: 'I would travel to visit the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the Gulf region.'

× So it's worth, let me feel that feeling.

✓ So it would be worth experiencing.

Original phrasing is awkward and ungrammatical. 'Let me feel that feeling' is informal and redundant. Use 'worth experiencing' to express the intended meaning. Also match modal 'would' used earlier. Suggestion: use concise expressions like 'It would be worth experiencing.'

× No, I don't prefer to live in a tall building because uh, definitely gonna be crowded for uh and umm, crowded and not so convenient to place because I prefer the quad.

✓ No, I don't prefer to live in a tall building because it would definitely be crowded and not very convenient; I prefer a quiet place.

Pronoun and noun issues: 'gonna' is informal; use 'would be'. 'for uh' is meaningless. 'to place' is incorrect; use 'convenient' with an adjective and clarify noun: 'a quiet place'. Also 'I prefer the quad' is unclear—likely 'a quiet place'. Suggestion: avoid fillers, use 'it would be' and state preference clearly: 'I prefer a quiet place.'