Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Clarify and correct vocabulary, use one clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details. Avoid unclear words (e.g. “parents”, “sounding”) and grammatical errors. For example, say what buildings they are, why they stand out, and include a linking word to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. For instance, a multi-storey apartment block and my local high school tower above the surrounding houses, so they stand out because they are much higher than the nearby single-storey homes.

제안: Use accurate vocabulary and make sentences concise and coherent. Start with a direct answer, then give a specific reason and one example. Replace unclear words (e.g. “barriers”, “fake cakes”, “tide shows”, “portals”) with correct terms like “buildings”, “facades”, “light and shadow”.

예시: Yes, I often take photos of buildings because I love architecture. For example, I like photographing facades during the golden hour when warm sunlight creates strong shadows and makes the shapes and textures more dramatic.

제안: Give a clear, accurate description and specific reasons. Use correct nouns and simple linking words. Correct confusing phrases (e.g. “main live library”, “modern accreditation”, “law collection of levels”, “ads”). State the name, one or two features, and why you want to visit.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit the main library at the University of Tokyo. It has a striking modern design and extensive collections, so I would enjoy exploring the architecture and studying there for a day.

제안: Answer directly and give clear, coherent reasons with correct vocabulary. Replace unclear phrases (e.g. “tour reading”, “blood clotting”, “breakfast at low Rice house”, “St. level”) with simple expressions: ‘afraid of heights’, ‘feel sick/dizzy’, ‘prefer a low-floor apartment’. Use one linking word to add a detail.

예시: No, I wouldn't like to live in a tall building because I am afraid of heights. For example, I often feel dizzy on high floors, so I prefer living in a low-rise house or an apartment on a lower floor.

× They are the multi story parents or the local high school and still stand out because they are much higher than the sounding house.

✓ They are the multi-story apartments or the local high school and still stand out because they are much higher than the surrounding houses.

Student used 'parents' and 'sounding house' incorrectly. The context requires plural noun for buildings: 'apartments' not 'parents'. 'Surrounding houses' is the appropriate phrase instead of 'sounding house'. Also add a hyphen in 'multi-story'. Use plural agreement for 'houses' to match 'they'. Suggestion: replace incorrect words with context-appropriate nouns and ensure plural forms match the subject.

× Cheers. Photos of barriers because I love architecture.

✓ Yes. I take photos of buildings because I love architecture.

Original sentence contains incorrect words 'Cheers' and 'barriers' that distort meaning. The student needs a full clause with correct verb form: 'I take photos of buildings'. Use present simple for habitual action. Replace wrong words with intended ones. Suggestion: Use present simple verb + object to describe habitual activities.

× I prefer to show fake cakes during the golden hour when the sunlight creates interest in shadows and tide shows which makes the portals more dramatic.

✓ I prefer to shoot facades during the golden hour when the sunlight creates interesting shadows and highlights, which makes the buildings more dramatic.

Many words were misused: 'show fake cakes' should be 'shoot facades' (photograph building faces). 'Interest in shadows and tide shows' is incorrect; use 'interesting shadows and highlights'. 'Portals' is wrong for 'buildings'. Maintain parallel structure and noun forms. Use present simple 'prefer to shoot' for habitual preference. Suggestion: Choose vocabulary aligned with architecture/photography and keep adjective-noun agreement (interesting shadows).

× Yes, the building I would like to visit is the main live library at Tokyo University I have had.

✓ Yes, the building I would like to visit is the main library at the University of Tokyo.

Phrase 'main live library' and 'I have had' are incorrect. Use 'main library' and the correct name order 'University of Tokyo'. Remove 'I have had' which is ungrammatical here. Use present conditional 'would like' with present noun phrase. Suggestion: Keep the noun phrase concise and in correct word order, and avoid unnecessary verb phrases.

× It has embraced modern accreditation and a law collection of levels, so I love to see ads and study there for a day.

✓ It has a modern design and a large collection of books, so I would love to visit and study there for a day.

'Embraced modern accreditation' and 'law collection of levels' are incorrect. Likely intended 'modern design' and 'large collection of books'. 'Love to see ads' is wrong; use 'would love to visit'. Ensure nouns match meaning and use modal 'would' for hypothetical desire. Suggestion: Use accurate descriptive adjectives ('modern') and correct nouns ('collection of books'). Use 'would' for polite hypothetical statements.

× No, I worry like to live in a tour reading because I'm afraid of heights.

✓ No, I would not like to live in a tall building because I'm afraid of heights.

'Worry like' and 'tour reading' are incorrect. Correct modal structure is 'would not like' for preference. 'Tall building' is the intended noun. Keep present simple for 'I'm afraid'. Suggestion: Use correct modal expressions for preferences and correct nouns for intended meaning.

× I feel nervous on high floors and don't enjoy looking down from blood clotting and so I'm breakfast at low Rice house or an apartment on a lower floor close to St. level.

✓ I feel nervous on high floors and don't enjoy looking down from high up, so I prefer to live in a low-rise house or an apartment on a lower floor close to street level.

Sentence contains many wrong words: 'blood clotting', 'breakfast', 'low Rice house', 'St. level'. Correct expressions: 'from high up', 'prefer to live', 'low-rise house', 'street level'. Use present simple for preferences: 'I prefer'. Ensure adjective compounds like 'low-rise' are hyphenated. Suggestion: Replace incorrect vocabulary with standard expressions for height and housing; use 'prefer' for habitual choices and hyphenate compound adjectives.