Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cải thiện: Rút gọn câu trả lời để tự nhiên và mạch lạc hơn; tránh lặp từ (ví dụ “most it's mainly”); dùng từ chính xác (skyscrapers thay vì “sky grabbers”); cấu trúc rõ ràng: câu chủ đề + 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể. Cố gắng dùng liên từ phù hợp (for example, because) và giới hạn trong tối đa 4-5 câu.

예시: Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home because I live in the city centre. For example, there are several office towers and modern apartment blocks within walking distance. These buildings often have shops and cafes on the ground floor, which makes the area very convenient.

제안: Cải thiện: Loại bỏ lặp từ (ví dụ “architecture, architecture”) và diễn đạt tự nhiên hơn; mở rộng bằng một ví dụ cụ thể để làm rõ khi nào bạn chụp ảnh; dùng liên từ để kết nối ý (but, however, for instance). Giữ tối đa 4 câu.

예시: Not usually — I'm not particularly into photographing buildings. However, if I come across an especially impressive piece of architecture, I will take a photo. For instance, I once photographed a historic cathedral because of its intricate façade and stained-glass windows.

제안: Cải thiện: Trả lời trực tiếp với ví dụ cụ thể của một toà nhà bạn muốn thăm; tránh lỗi ngữ pháp và lặp; diễn đạt ý về lý do và hoàn cảnh ngắn gọn, rõ ràng; dùng thì chính xác (e.g., "I can't afford to travel abroad at the moment"). Hạn chế câu dài lủng củng, tối đa 4 câu.

예시: Yes, I'd love to visit the Sagrada Família in Barcelona because I'm fascinated by its unique architecture. Unfortunately I can't afford to travel abroad at the moment, but I hope to save money and go in a few years. I think seeing the interiors and the detailed sculptures would be amazing.

제안: Cải thiện: Diễn đạt ý chính rõ ràng (không muốn sống ở tòa nhà cao tầng) và đưa 1-2 lý do cụ thể, logic; tránh từ vựng sai ("uplands") và diễn đạt lủng củng; dùng liên từ để nối ý (although, because, for example). Giữ dưới 5 câu.

예시: No, I wouldn't want to live in a tall building, although they can seem luxurious. My main concern is safety — for example, I worry about how quickly I could evacuate in a fire. I also prefer more open, ground-level living with easier access to the street.

× Yes, there are quite a lot actually.

✓ Yes, there are quite a lot of them, actually.

The phrase 'a lot' often requires a following noun or pronoun when referring back to a countable group. Adding 'of them' clarifies the plural reference. Suggestion: include the noun or pronoun after 'a lot' when context requires it.

× Umm, I think it's mostly most it's mainly because of the location that I'm living in.

✓ Umm, I think it's mainly because of the location where I live.

The original repeats words ('mostly most') and uses an awkward relative clause 'that I'm living in.' Use 'where I live' for a natural, correct structure and avoid repetition. Suggestion: remove redundant words and use 'where I live' for location.

× Umm for example, I'm living in a city like the center of the city.

✓ For example, I live in the city center.

The phrase 'a city like the center of the city' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use 'city center' and simple present 'I live' for habitual situation. Suggestion: use concise noun phrases and correct tense for habitual facts.

× So basically there will be some sky grabbers and tall buildings and the you know, like new morning facilities.

✓ So basically there are some skyscrapers and tall buildings and, you know, new modern facilities.

'Sky grabbers' is incorrect — correct term is 'skyscrapers.' 'There will be' suggests future; present 'there are' suits current facts. 'Morning facilities' is probably 'modern facilities.' Suggestion: use correct nouns and proper present tense for existing things.

× Well, actually not. I'm not that kind of person who is really into taking pictures as well as into buildings.

✓ Well, actually no. I'm not the kind of person who's really into taking pictures of buildings.

Use 'no' rather than 'not' after 'Well, actually.' 'Kind of person' should be 'the kind of person' and 'into taking pictures of buildings' is the correct prepositional pattern. Also contract 'who is' to 'who's.' Suggestion: use correct article 'the' and correct preposition 'of.'

× But in some specific scenarios, when I see some building and architecture, architecture that is so impressive, I would like to take a picture of my phone.

✓ But in some specific situations, when I see a building or architecture that is impressive, I would like to take a picture with my phone.

Use 'situations' instead of 'scenarios' for naturalness; 'a building or architecture' is better than repeating 'architecture'; 'take a picture of my phone' is incorrect — use 'with my phone.' Suggestion: use 'with' to indicate the device used to take the photo and avoid repetition.

× Yes, a lot actually, but The thing is they are mostly in the others countries.

✓ Yes, a lot actually, but the thing is they are mostly in other countries.

Use 'other countries' not 'the others countries.' Capitalization: 'The' should be lowercase. 'Other' without 'the' is appropriate here. Suggestion: remove extraneous 'the' and correct plural noun phrase.

× Well, at the at the moment I cannot afford, maybe I cannot afford to travel abroad, but when I but as I grew older, I would like to be more hard work so that I can get the money.

✓ Well, at the moment I cannot afford to travel abroad, but as I grow older, I would like to work harder so that I can save money.

Remove duplicate 'at the.' Use present simple 'I cannot afford' for current ability. Change 'as I grew older' (past) to 'as I grow older' (future/ongoing). 'Be more hard work' is incorrect — use 'work harder.' 'Get the money' -> 'save money.' Suggestion: match tense with intended meaning and use correct verb phrases for effort and saving.

× Umm, no, I don't, although living in a tall building is umm, some kind of uplands and maybe like luxury,

✓ Umm, no, I don't, although living in a tall building can be luxurious and comfortable,

'Some kind of uplands' is incorrect and unclear; use 'luxurious' and 'comfortable.' 'Maybe like luxury' is ungrammatical. Suggestion: use appropriate adjectives and modal 'can be' to indicate potential quality.

× But if there's something bad happens, for example a fire that starts, I think I cannot evacuate on time because you know, like I'm living in the hub.

✓ But if something bad happens, for example if a fire starts, I don't think I could evacuate in time because, you know, I live in a high-rise building.

Use 'if something bad happens' (not 'if there's something bad happens' which mixes structures). 'I think I cannot' -> 'I don't think I could' is more natural for hypothetical. 'On time' -> 'in time.' 'I'm living in the hub' is unclear; 'I live in a high-rise building' clarifies meaning. Suggestion: use correct conditional structure and clearer vocabulary.