Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Speak more clearly and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and two supporting details. Avoid hesitation fillers (uh, um) and correct inaccurate word choices (e.g., 'high-rise' not 'high risk'). Use linking words like 'however' to contrast places and keep answers within 3–4 concise sentences.

예시: Yes. In Egypt I lived in a high-rise building on the ninth floor, so tall buildings were common there. However, in New Jersey most homes are attached houses or low-rise apartments, so tall towers are less common.

제안: Start with a clear direct answer, then give one specific example. Reduce repetition and correct tense/grammar issues (e.g., 'I have never seen anything like it before'). Use linking words such as 'for example' and keep to 2–3 supporting sentences.

예시: Not often. For example, the first time I photographed a building was in Belgium because the architecture was unique and picturesque, so I took many photos. In Egypt I rarely photographed buildings.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and add two specific reasons with clearer vocabulary. Avoid hesitation and small errors ('statues' not 'status') and keep sentences concise. Use linking words like 'because' and 'also'.

예시: Yes, I would love to visit the Vatican in Rome because it is historically and religiously significant and also contains unique artworks and beautiful statues. I think everyone should see it at least once.

제안: Answer directly, then give two clear reasons with examples. Remove hesitations and correct phrasing ('more privacy' not 'highly privacy, less'). Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' to connect ideas.

예시: No, I would not. I prefer low-rise housing because tall buildings often have many residents and frequent maintenance problems, such as elevator breakdowns or power outages. For example, a two-storey house offers more privacy and fewer shared facilities.

× In Egypt, I used to live in a high rise building, uh, my, my apartment in the 9th floor and we have a a high risk building around the US and in everywhere in most of the country.

✓ In Egypt, I used to live in a high-rise building; my apartment was on the 9th floor, and we have many high-rise buildings throughout the country.

The original sentence has several issues: 'high rise' should be hyphenated as 'high-rise' when used as an adjective; 'my apartment in the 9th floor' is incorrect because 'in' should be 'on' for floors and the verb 'was' (past tense) is needed to describe a past state. 'a a high risk building around the US and in everywhere in most of the country' is unclear and uses incorrect nouns and articles; it should be 'many high-rise buildings throughout the country' to convey plural buildings and correct preposition 'throughout'. Use of 'used to live' signals past, so other verbs should match that tense. Suggestions: hyphenate compound adjectives (high-rise), use 'on' with floors, use past-tense verb 'was', replace unclear phrasing with 'many' and 'throughout the country' for clarity.

× In contrast, in New Jersey, most of the buildings are the attached house and if you have an apartment.

✓ In contrast, in New Jersey, most houses are attached, and there are apartment buildings if you want an apartment.

Problems: 'most of the buildings are the attached house' mixes plural/singular and uses wrong article and noun forms; 'attached house' should be 'attached houses' or 'houses are attached'. The clause 'and if you have an apartment' is incomplete and unclear; replace with 'there are apartment buildings if you want an apartment' to make meaning clear. Also adjust word order to natural English. Suggestions: match singular/plural, use correct noun forms, and complete conditional clauses.

× Actually, not too often, but I remembered the first time I took a picture of building when I was in Belgium because it has a very beautiful and picturesque building and very unique.

✓ Actually, not too often, but I remember the first time I took a picture of a building when I was in Belgium because it was very beautiful, picturesque, and unique.

Issues: tense mismatch ('remembered' should be present 'remember' when speaking about a memory in general conversation) and missing article before 'building' ('a building'). Repetition 'has a very beautiful and picturesque building' is redundant and awkward; simpler: 'it was very beautiful, picturesque, and unique.' Suggestions: use 'remember' for current recollection, include appropriate articles, and avoid redundant phrasing.

× I didn't, I have never seen before.

✓ I had never seen anything like it before.

Problems: mixed tenses ('didn't, I have never' is ungrammatical) and missing object; 'seen before' needs an object. Use past perfect 'had never seen' to indicate that before that moment you had not seen something like it. Also 'anything like it' provides a clear object. Suggestions: use a single, consistent tense and include an object for 'seen'.

× So I take a lot of pictures of this, uh, building, but in Egypt, I don't know.

✓ So I took a lot of pictures of that building, but in Egypt I'm not sure.

Issues: tense inconsistency — earlier the speaker refers to a past event, so 'take' should be 'took'. 'this' versus 'that' is a minor deictic choice; 'that building' fits past reference. 'I don't know' is vague; 'I'm not sure' is more natural. Suggestion: maintain past tense when describing past actions.

× Yes, I'd love to visit Vatican in Rome.

✓ Yes, I'd love to visit the Vatican in Rome.

'Vatican' requires the definite article 'the' when referring to the Vatican City or the Vatican as an institution: 'the Vatican'. Always use 'the' with proper nouns like 'the Vatican' in this context.

× It's famous for historical and religious significance and it has a very beautiful, uh, status and unique, uh, artworks.

✓ It's famous for its historical and religious significance, and it has very beautiful statues and unique artworks.

Problems: 'historical and religious significance' needs the possessive 'its'. 'status' is a misspelling or wrong word for 'statues'. Placing 'very' before plural nouns 'statues' and 'unique artworks' is correct without extra commas. Suggestions: use possessive pronouns where needed, check word choice (statues), and simplify punctuation.

× So, uh, uh, I think you should visit that once in your life at least.

✓ So, I think you should visit it at least once in your life.

Problems: word order is awkward; 'visit that once in your life at least' should be 'visit it at least once in your life'. Use 'it' to refer back to the Vatican and place adverbial phrase 'at least once' in natural position. Suggestions: reorder to common English pattern: 'visit it at least once in your life.'

× No, I wouldn't like to live in a tall building because there are usually many people and many, uh, maintenance issues, uh, like elevator breakdown or uh, power outages.

✓ No, I would not like to live in a tall building because there are usually many people and maintenance issues, such as elevator breakdowns or power outages.

Problems: contraction 'wouldn't like' is acceptable but 'I would not like' is clearer; 'many, uh, maintenance issues' has extra filler and incorrect pluralization of 'breakdown' — use plural 'breakdowns'. 'Such as' is more natural than 'like' in formal speech. Suggestions: remove fillers, make nouns agree in number, and use 'such as' for examples.

× I prefer a building with no more than two floors because it offers you a highly privacy, uh, less.

✓ I prefer a building with no more than two floors because it offers more privacy.

Problems: 'highly privacy' is incorrect; 'privacy' is an uncountable noun and should be modified with 'more' rather than 'highly'. The trailing 'uh, less' is unnecessary and ungrammatical. Also avoid addressing listener with 'you' when speaking about personal preference; 'offers more privacy' is appropriate. Suggestions: use correct quantifier 'more' with uncountable nouns and omit filler words.