Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and correct subject-verb agreement and word choice (e.g., ‘city centre’, ‘high-rise’, remove ‘because’ overload).

예시: Yes. I live in the city centre, so there are many high‑rise buildings near my home. For example, the apartment blocks around my street are well planned and include ample parking, which makes daily life more convenient. In addition, several buildings have attractive modern designs, so the area looks pleasant.

제안: Give a clear direct answer first, then add one or two specific examples. Use linking words (e.g., ‘for example’, ‘especially’) and avoid filler words and repetition. Improve sentence structure and collocations (e.g., ‘historic buildings’, ‘unique architecture’).

예시: Occasionally. When I travel I especially photograph historic buildings to capture their old designs. For example, I took photos of an ancient cathedral last year, and I also photograph unusual modern structures that have unique shapes.

제안: Answer more directly and avoid vague phrasing. If you have no specific building in mind, say so briefly and then give a clear reason with a concrete example of what you would observe. Remove colloquial fillers (‘you know’) and unclear phrases (‘home session on us’).

예시: I don't have a specific building in mind, but I enjoy exploring local architecture when I travel. For instance, I like visiting traditional houses to learn about local construction techniques and cultural styles, and I often photograph them to remember the details.

제안: Give a concise direct response, then explain with one clear reason and an example. Correct vocabulary (‘phobia of heights’, ‘high‑rise building’) and remove unclear words (‘tubidy’, ‘events turning up’). Use linking words like ‘because’ and ‘for example’ properly.

예시: No, I wouldn't. I have a phobia of heights, so living in a high‑rise would make me feel anxious. For example, being several floors up triggers dizziness for me, so I prefer a low‑rise house close to the ground.

× Yes, we have tall buildings near my home because I live in the city centers and most of the buildings around me are high rising buildings.

✓ Yes, there are tall buildings near my home because I live in the city centre and most of the buildings around me are high-rise.

Problems: plural and article ('city centers' should be singular 'city centre' if speaker refers to their city) and awkward adjective formation ('high rising buildings' is incorrect; use 'high-rise'). Use 'there are' for existence (There be issue). Suggestion: use 'there are' for plural existence, use correct compound adjective 'high-rise', and use singular 'city centre' if referring to a single urban area.

× I love it because it's very spacious, has a lot of parking spaces and then the structures are very beautiful.

✓ I like it because it is very spacious, has a lot of parking spaces, and the buildings are very beautiful.

Problems: inconsistent pronoun reference ('I love it' unclear), missing conjunction punctuation and slight subject-word choice. Replace 'love it' with 'like it' for naturalness, keep parallel structure with commas and 'and', and replace 'structures' with 'buildings' for clarity.

× People prefer also prefers because it gives.

✓ People also prefer it because of the facilities it offers.

Problems: subject-verb disagreement ('People prefer also prefers') and incomplete clause ending ('because it gives' is incomplete). Suggestion: use 'People also prefer it' (people + prefer) and complete the reason 'because of the facilities it offers'.

× Well, occasionally when I am on a vacation, I usually take photos of buildings of especially the old artifacts, the the old designs of buildings that have been there for a very long time just for me to showcase and then some buildings that are unusual.

✓ Occasionally, when I am on vacation, I usually take photos of buildings, especially old ones and those with unusual designs, to showcase them.

Problems: redundant words ('on a vacation' -> 'on vacation'), awkward word order ('of especially the old artifacts, the the old designs'), repetition ('the the'), and run-on sentence. Suggestion: move adverb 'occasionally' to the front, remove unnecessary articles, use parallel noun phrases ('old ones' and 'unusual designs'), and state purpose with 'to showcase them'.

× Well, at the moment I don't have anyone in mind, but when I travel I would love to see all the buildings in the area I will travel just to take a picture of them for memories and this will help me, you know, understand how people build their home session on us.

✓ At the moment I don't have any particular building in mind, but when I travel I would love to see the buildings in the area and take pictures of them for memories; this will help me understand how people build their homes.

Problems: awkward phrasing ('anyone in mind' should be 'any particular building in mind'), improper future phrase 'area I will travel', and unclear ending 'build their home session on us'. Suggestion: simplify to 'buildings in the area', use 'take pictures of them for memories', and correct noun 'homes' and remove unclear phrase.

× I will say no, I wouldn't want to live in a tall building because I have phobia for heights.

✓ No, I would not want to live in a tall building because I have a phobia of heights.

Problems: mixed condition/modality ('I will say no, I wouldn't' awkward), article and preposition errors ('a phobia for heights' -> 'a phobia of heights'). Suggestion: use consistent modal 'I would not' and 'a phobia of heights'.

× When I climb up on the on all high rise buildings I usually have this fear that I may fall from there.

✓ When I climb up on tall, high-rise buildings I usually feel afraid that I might fall.

Problems: redundant words ('on the on all'), awkward preposition 'fall from there'. Suggestion: remove duplication, use adjective order 'tall, high-rise buildings', replace 'have this fear that I may fall from there' with 'feel afraid that I might fall' for natural English.

× So for that reason I wouldn't want to live in a tubidy.

✓ So for that reason I wouldn't want to live in one.

Problems: nonstandard word 'tubidy' (likely meant 'tall building' or 'tower'). Suggestion: replace with clear pronoun 'one' referring to 'tall building' earlier, or repeat 'tall building' for clarity.

× I would prefer a home where I won't have such events turning up.

✓ I would prefer a home where I would not experience such events.

Problems: future negative contraction 'won't' is awkward with 'would prefer' and phrase 'events turning up' is unnatural. Suggestion: use consistent conditional 'would not experience' and replace 'events turning up' with 'such situations' or 'such experiences'.