Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct minor grammar/repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repeating words (e.g., “in in”, “to to”).

예시: No, there aren’t any tall buildings near my home because we live in a rural area. However, if I want to see skyscrapers, I usually travel to the nearest city, which is about an hour away by bus.

제안: Give a clearer reason and a specific example rather than vague phrases. Use linking words (for example, because) and avoid unclear statements like “that's what's what I've said.”

예시: Yes, I often photograph interesting buildings because I enjoy architectural details. For example, last month I took photos of an old colonial courthouse in the nearby town because of its ornate façade.

제안: Provide a precise reason and one concrete detail about the building you want to see. Avoid filler words (uh) and unclear phrases (“on both”). Use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it is an iconic example of modern architecture. In addition, I’m interested in its observation deck to see panoramic city views and engineering features.

제안: Express your opinion with a clear reason and add a brief supporting detail or example. Fix repetitions and improve grammar (e.g., “there are there are”). Use linking words like because or although to make it coherent.

예시: No, I wouldn’t want to live in a tall building because I’m worried about safety during earthquakes. For instance, I prefer low-rise houses since they feel more stable and easier to evacuate in an emergency.

× There are no tall buildings near our home because we are located in in a rural area.

✓ There are no tall buildings near our home because we are located in a rural area.

The sentence had a duplicate word 'in in'. Remove the extra 'in'. This is not a pluralization error but fits best as a sentence structure typo; however per instructions it is corrected. Suggestion: proofread to eliminate repeated words.

× We must travel first to an urban city for us to to see tall buildings if we want to.

✓ We must travel to an urban area first to see tall buildings if we want to.

The original had a duplicate 'to to' and awkward word order 'for us to to see' and 'urban city' is redundant. 'Urban area' is more natural. Keep 'must' for necessity and use correct ordering: 'travel to X first to see Y.' Remove duplicate 'to.'

× Yes, I do take pictures of buildings because that's what's what I've said.

✓ Yes, I do take pictures of buildings because that's what I said.

The phrase 'what's what I've said' is incorrect and redundant. Use 'that's what I said' to refer back to a previous statement. Also keeping 'do take' is acceptable for emphasis; removing the extra 'what' corrects the sentence.

× It is rare in our area.

✓ That is rare in our area.

Using 'It is rare' is not wrong, but 'That is rare' more naturally refers to the preceding idea (taking photos of buildings). Change 'It' to 'That' for clarity and cohesion.

× I'd like to visit buildings located in Dubai because they said it is uh, architecturally designed and it is uh, on both.

✓ I'd like to visit buildings in Dubai because they said they are architecturally impressive and have a mix of styles.

The original contains unclear phrasing 'it is uh, architecturally designed and it is uh, on both.' Replace with clear description 'architecturally impressive' and 'have a mix of styles.' Also change 'it' to 'they' to agree with plural 'buildings.' Use 'they said' reporting is fine but be specific. This corrects pronoun agreement and unclear wording.

× No, I don't want to live in a tall building. I am afraid of earthquake because there are there are cases that tall buildings tend to collapse.

✓ No, I don't want to live in a tall building. I am afraid of earthquakes because there have been cases where tall buildings have collapsed.

Use the plural 'earthquakes' to refer to the phenomenon generally. The original repeated 'there are there are' — remove duplication. Use present perfect 'have been' to describe past occurrences relevant now and 'have collapsed' as the correct perfect form. Also 'cases where' is more natural than 'cases that.'