Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct countable noun usage (e.g., "many tall buildings"), remove repetitions, and limit to 3–4 sentences. Add a linking phrase to connect the contrast between your neighbourhood and downtown.

예시: Not really. There aren’t many tall buildings near my home — most houses are only four or five storeys. However, about 20 miles away in downtown there are many high-rise buildings and a striking skyline that I enjoy visiting.

제안: Make sentences more natural and concise. Use correct relative clauses and consistent verb forms. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give a supporting reason and an example. Use a linking word like "because" or "so" for cohesion.

예시: I only take photos of buildings sometimes. If a building is architecturally impressive or unusual, I’ll photograph it because it catches my eye; otherwise I usually just walk past.

제안: Avoid short, choppy sentences and redundant adjectives. Combine ideas into smoother sentences, give a reason why you want to visit, and use varied vocabulary (e.g., "historic," "impressive"). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes — the old Public Library in Boston. I’ve seen videos and read about its historic architecture, so I’d love to visit and explore its reading rooms and galleries because the building is reputed to be both grand and beautifully detailed.

제안: Be concise and correct word choices. Use a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 supporting reasons with specific details. Fix collocation and grammar (e.g., "tall apartment buildings," "feel claustrophobic"). Avoid vague phrases like "kind of."

예시: No — I prefer living in an independent house with a small garden. Tall apartment buildings make me feel claustrophobic and impersonal, so I find a house more relaxing and private.

× There aren't much tall buildings near my home.

✓ There aren't many tall buildings near my home.

'Much' is used with uncountable nouns; 'many' is used with countable plural nouns like 'buildings'. Use 'many' for correct agreement with the plural noun.

× It's usually four to five floors.

✓ They are usually four to five floors high.

The original sentence lacks a clear subject and adjective. 'It' is incorrect for plural buildings; use 'They' to refer to buildings and add 'high' to describe number of floors.

× But if I travel to the downtown area, further, if I travel to the downtown area, which is like, uh, 20 miles away, there are beautiful tall buildings and a good skyline that I get to see.

✓ But if I travel to the downtown area, which is about 20 miles away, I can see beautiful tall buildings and a good skyline.

The sentence is repetitive and awkward. Remove repeated clause, replace 'like, uh' with 'about' for approximation, and use 'I can see' (modal + base) to express ability rather than the awkward 'that I get to see'.

× If it is architecturally impressive and gets your attention when you see, I do take photos.

✓ If a building is architecturally impressive and catches my attention, I take photos.

Use consistent pronouns and subject. 'Gets your attention when you see' is ungrammatical; use 'catches my attention'. Also use 'a building' and 'I' for clarity and agreement.

× If it is architecturally impressive and gets your attention when you see, I do take photos.

✓ If a building is architecturally impressive and catches my attention, I take photos.

The original mixes second-person 'your' with first-person 'I'. Keep pronouns consistent (first-person) to match the speaker's perspective.

× I've even watched it on YouTube videos.

✓ I've even seen videos of it on YouTube.

Use 'seen videos of it' or 'watched videos about it' rather than 'watched it on YouTube videos'. The preposition and noun order were incorrect.

× I'm sure it's huge, enormous and beautiful.

✓ I'm sure it's huge and beautiful.

'Huge' and 'enormous' are redundant synonyms; use one to avoid repetition. Also 'huge and beautiful' is concise and natural.

× I always prefer living in an independent house with little garden around.

✓ I always prefer living in an independent house with a small garden around it.

Add article 'a' before 'small garden' and use 'small' rather than 'little' in this context; also add 'it' to refer back to the house for clarity.

× Whenever I enter a tall apartments I kind of get the feeling like claustrophobic and it feels like I live in a hostel.

✓ Whenever I enter tall apartments, I kind of feel claustrophobic and feel like I'm living in a hostel.

Remove the article mismatch ('a tall apartments' -> 'tall apartments'), add comma, use adjective 'claustrophobic' with 'feel' and correct verb form 'I'm living' for natural expression.