Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid filler words (e.g., "so and so", "I guess"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail and a linking word. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., "high-rises", "office blocks"). Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home. For example, several high-rise apartment blocks and a few office towers line the main road, and the tallest one is a residential tower about 30 storeys high.

제안: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., "because", "for example"). Remove hesitations ('like', 'so') and keep sentences tight. Mention frequency more precisely (e.g., 'occasionally', 'rarely').

예시: I occasionally take photos of buildings, but only in special conditions. For example, when the weather is clear and a glass facade reflects the sky, I photograph it because the contrast looks striking.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and then provide specific reasons using linking words (e.g., "because", "so"). Avoid hedging phrases ('like', 'I mean') and uncertainty if possible. Use precise vocabulary ('views' instead of 'sceneries').

예시: I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa because it offers panoramic views from its observation deck. For example, I want to take the high-speed elevator to the top to see the city skyline and surrounding desert.

제안: Begin with a clear opinion and then give specific reasons and a brief contrast using a linking word (e.g., "however", "because"). Reduce filler words ('like', 'you know') and aim for varied vocabulary (e.g., 'detached house', 'private garden').

예시: I would prefer to live in a two-storey detached house because I want a private garden and more personal space. Having grown up in a high-rise apartment, I appreciate quieter surroundings and outdoor space for plants and relaxation.

× Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home so and so.

✓ Yes, there are many tall buildings near my home.

The phrase 'so and so' is informal, vague, and unnecessary in this context, causing a sentence structure issue. Remove it for clarity and formality.

× There are lots of tall buildings like apartments or maybe offices.

✓ There are lots of tall buildings, such as apartment buildings and offices.

Use 'such as' to introduce examples; 'like' can be informal and may incorrectly compare. Also specify 'apartment buildings' for clarity and add a comma before the example.

× And the tallest building near my home is I guess an apartment.

✓ The tallest building near my home, I guess, is an apartment building.

The original word order and filler 'I guess' interrupt the sentence flow. Move 'I guess' into a parenthetical position and use 'apartment building' for clarity.

× I do take photos of buildings sometimes but only in a special occasion, like if the weather is so good and the building is like reflecting the sky or clouds.

✓ I do take photos of buildings sometimes, but only on special occasions, for example when the weather is very good and a building is reflecting the sky or clouds.

Use plural 'occasions' and the preposition 'on' with occasions. Replace informal 'like' with 'for example' and 'so good' with 'very good.' Also change 'the building is like reflecting' to 'a building is reflecting' to correct verb phrase and article use.

× But on like everyday occasions are not so much.

✓ But on ordinary days I do not take many photos.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and informal. 'On like everyday occasions are not so much' lacks a clear subject and verb. Rephrase to 'on ordinary days I do not take many photos' for grammaticality and clarity.

× A building I would like to visit is Burj Khalifa.

✓ A building I would like to visit is the Burj Khalifa.

Famous buildings typically take the definite article 'the.' Use 'the Burj Khalifa' to be grammatically correct.

× Like the tallest building in the world.

✓ It is the tallest building in the world.

Standalone fragment 'Like the tallest building in the world.' is incomplete. Turn it into a full sentence with subject 'it' and verb 'is.'

× I don't know if it's the tallest right now, but I really wanted to visit the building 'cause I wanted to like climb up, I mean, to take an elevator to see the sceneries at the top of the building.

✓ I don't know if it's the tallest right now, but I really want to visit the building because I want to take an elevator to see the scenery from the top.

Maintain present-tense consistency: 'I really want' rather than 'wanted.' Use 'because' instead of informal ''cause' and remove filler 'like' and 'I mean.' Use uncountable 'scenery' and 'from the top' for natural phrasing.

× To be honest, I would like to live in a house, like a two-story house where I have gardens and everything 'cause I've always lived in an apartment which was very tall and I really want to have my own space.

✓ To be honest, I would like to live in a house, for example a two-story house with a garden, because I've always lived in a very tall apartment and I want to have my own space.

Replace informal 'like' with 'for example' or remove it. Use 'a garden' or 'gardens' consistently; 'with a garden' is more natural. Use 'because' instead of ''cause.' Maintain tense consistency: 'I've always lived' is correct, follow with 'I want' rather than 'I really want' repeated awkwardly. Also restructure 'an apartment which was very tall' to 'a very tall apartment.'