Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid hesitations and repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small grammar issues (e.g. “cope with” not “cope up with”).

예시: Yes, I walk a lot. Walking is an easy and effective form of exercise, and it helps me manage my asthma because it improves my breathing gradually. For example, I take a brisk 30-minute walk every morning which reduces my breathlessness during the day.

제안: Answer directly with a clear past-tense topic sentence and use specific details. Avoid unclear words and correct vocabulary (e.g. “playing with friends” not “playing with accents”). Use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: Not really — as a child I rarely went on formal walks. Instead, I spent most of my time outdoors playing with friends in the park or riding my bicycle, so I was active but not taking long walks.

제안: Begin with a concise topic sentence and give specific reasons with correct vocabulary and linking words. Avoid repetitions and complete your sentences. Replace unclear words (e.g. “unwind” not “unlined”).

예시: People like walking in parks because the greenery and fresh air help them relax. Moreover, parks often have dedicated paths and benches, so people can exercise or rest easily after a long day.

제안: Give a clear opening sentence and support it with a specific reason or image. Reduce hesitation and repetition, and use linking words to expand briefly.

예시: I would like to take a long walk along a beach. I love the sound of the waves and the open view; walking on the sand would feel relaxing and refreshing, and I could stay there for hours to unwind.

제안: Answer in the past tense for a recent activity and be specific about location and routine. Remove hesitations and correct word choice (e.g. “communal” or “common” space instead of “Connecticut”).

예시: Lately I have been walking near my apartment every day. I take a 30-minute walk in the morning and another short walk after dinner in the communal garden beneath my building, which is quiet and convenient.

× I feel like walking is one of the best and easiest, uh, workout or physical activity that you you can do and it also really helps me cope up with my asthma.

✓ I feel like walking is one of the best and easiest workouts or physical activities that you can do, and it also really helps me cope with my asthma.

The original mixes singular/plural forms and uses 'workout or physical activity' after 'one of the...'; after 'one of the' a plural noun is required. Change to plural 'workouts or physical activities'. Also remove duplicated 'you' and place commas to join clauses. 'Cope up with' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'cope with'. Suggestion: Use plural nouns after 'one of the' and remember correct phrasal verbs like 'cope with'.

× As a child I don't think I would be going out as much for walking, but I would be always outside playing with accents in the park on cycling.

✓ As a child I don't think I went out as much to walk, but I was always outside playing in the park or cycling.

The sentence mixes present/modal forms with past context. For past habits, use past simple ('went out') or 'would' consistently in the past (would + base). 'Would be going out' is awkward here. 'I would be always' is incorrect word order; use 'I was always'. 'Playing with accents' is likely incorrect; corrected to 'playing in the park'. Use 'or cycling' for parallel activities. Suggestion: Use past simple for past regular actions and ensure parallel structure for listed activities.

× I think people like to walk in parks because it is because of the greenery and fresh air which would definitely help them calm and unlined from a long day and parks usually have these dedicated space for.

✓ I think people like to walk in parks because of the greenery and fresh air, which definitely help them calm down after a long day, and parks usually have these dedicated spaces for walking.

Remove the redundant 'it is because'. Use 'calm down' not 'calm and unlined'. Use 'after a long day' rather than 'from a long day'. 'Dedicated space' should be plural 'spaces' to agree with 'parks usually have'. Add 'for walking' to complete the idea. Suggestion: Avoid redundant phrases, choose correct prepositions ('after'), and match singular/plural for nouns.

× I I love beaches and it's kind of sad that I've not been to a lot of beaches, but that is somewhere I would love to take a long walk or be there as long as I can.

✓ I love beaches, and it's kind of sad that I haven't been to many of them, but that is somewhere I would love to take a long walk and stay as long as I can.

Use 'haven't been' instead of 'I've not been' for more natural negative contraction; both are grammatical but 'haven't' is more common. 'A lot of beaches' is acceptable, but 'many of them' avoids repetition. 'Somewhere' with plural 'beaches' is awkward; refer to 'there' or 'a beach'. 'Be there as long as I can' changed to 'stay as long as I can' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Avoid repeating the noun; use pronouns ('them') and choose natural verbs like 'stay' for duration.

× I go for walk daily, uh, morning walks as well as post dinner walks under uh, my building apartment.

✓ I go for walks daily, both morning walks and post-dinner walks around my apartment building.

Use plural 'walks' when speaking about habitual activities. 'Post dinner' should be hyphenated as 'post-dinner' when used as a compound adjective. 'Under my building apartment' is incorrect preposition and word order; use 'around my apartment building'. Suggestion: Use plural nouns for regular habits and correct prepositions ('around') to indicate location.

× They are like a Connecticut space just for walking so I go there often.

✓ They are like a connected space just for walking, so I go there often.

'Connecticut space' is likely a mispronunciation; the intended word appears to be 'connected' or 'common'. 'Connected space' or 'a communal walking space' makes sense. Also add a comma before 'so'. Suggestion: Use the correct adjective ('connected' or 'communal') and include punctuation for clarity.