Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitations and past tense errors, and limit to 2–4 sentences. Use linking words (for example, "sometimes" or "then") correctly and give a specific routine detail.

예시: Not really. I usually walk only when the weather is nice; for example, I take my daughter for a short stroll around our neighborhood. Sometimes we go to a nearby playground with swings and slides, and after that we walk around the park for about 30 minutes.

제안: Use past tense consistently and give a clear, complete answer. Begin with a direct topic sentence (e.g., "No, I didn't walk often when I was a child") and follow with 1–2 specific supporting details. Avoid trailing off and hesitations.

예시: No, I didn't walk often as a child. I usually went to school by bus and to church by taxi, so I had few chances to walk. Only in middle school did my mother take me to a local club sometimes, where we walked occasionally.

제안: Give a clear present-tense reason and organize ideas with linking words. Use appropriate vocabulary (e.g., "green space," "fresh air," "relax") and avoid filler words. Provide 2–3 specific benefits of walking in parks.

예시: People like walking in parks because they offer large green spaces and fresh air, which help reduce stress. In addition, parks have trees and quiet paths where people can relax or exercise, so walking there improves both mood and physical health.

제안: Be specific and fluent. State the place clearly, use correct vocabulary (e.g., "beach," "sea breeze"), and explain the reason concisely with linking words such as "because" or "so." Limit to 2–3 sentences and remove hesitations.

예시: I'd like to take a long walk along the boardwalk at Ini Beach because the sea breeze and the scent of the ocean always lift my mood. It would be a perfect way to relax after a busy day with my daughter.

제안: Answer directly and clearly which place you went to most recently. Use past simple tense for the recent activity, give one or two specific details (time, place, who with) and avoid hesitations. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Recently I went for a walk around my neighborhood. I also often visit a park near my home that has swings and slides for my daughter, so we usually walk there together for about 30–40 minutes.

× Actually no, most of the time I walk, umm, when the weather is nice, I talk my daughter for stroll around the neighborhood and sometimes I uh, took her to the near uh, work for swings and sliding.

✓ Actually no, most of the time I walk. When the weather is nice, I take my daughter for a stroll around the neighborhood and sometimes I take her to the nearby park for swings and slides.

Errors: 'talk' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'take' (base form). 'For stroll' should be 'for a stroll' (article needed). 'Took' is past tense but the sentence describes habitual present, so use present simple 'take'. 'the near uh, work' is unintelligible; corrected to 'the nearby park'. 'swings and sliding' should be 'swings and slides' (plural noun). Suggestion: Use present simple for habitual actions, use correct verb 'take', include articles and correct noun forms.

× No, actually I don't. When I was a child I only went to the school by here by bus or the church by taxi, so I don't have a space to walk.

✓ No, actually I didn't. When I was a child I only went to school by bus or to church by taxi, so I didn't have space to walk.

Errors: Mixed tenses and auxiliaries. 'I don't' is present, but context is past; should be 'I didn't'. 'went to the school' should be 'went to school' (no article). 'by here by bus' is incorrect; remove 'here'. 'the church' -> 'church' (no article). 'I don't have a space' should be past 'I didn't have space'. Suggestion: Keep past tense consistently for past-time descriptions and omit unnecessary articles with institutions like school and church.

× But maybe in the middle school my mom joined in the club, so we sometimes, uh, took us to.

✓ But maybe in middle school my mom joined a club, so sometimes she took us there.

Errors: 'in the middle school' -> 'in middle school' or 'during middle school'; 'joined in the club' -> 'joined a club' (correct verb and article). 'we sometimes, uh, took us to' is ungrammatical and reflexive; should be 'she took us there'. Suggestion: Use active subject for who performed the action and correct verb objects.

× People liked walking parks because it offers larger space of, uh, of green, uh, houses and plenty of trees so they can take fresh air and make them on wind and relax.

✓ People like walking in parks because they offer large green spaces and plenty of trees so people can get fresh air, enjoy the breeze, and relax.

Errors: Tense agreement 'liked' -> 'like' (general truth). 'walking parks' should be 'walking in parks'. 'it offers larger space of ... of green, houses' is ungrammatical; corrected to 'they offer large green spaces'. 'make them on wind' unclear; changed to 'enjoy the breeze'. Suggestion: For general statements use present simple; ensure plural agreement and clear noun phrases.

× Uh, especially in, in these days, the first pace of the life, uh, put pressures, uh, on the people.

✓ Especially these days, the fast pace of life puts pressure on people.

Errors: 'in these days' -> 'these days' or 'in these days' is awkward. 'first pace' -> 'fast pace'. 'put pressures on the people' wrong verb form and plurality; correct is 'puts pressure on people' (singular verb with 'pace', uncountable 'pressure', no article before people). Suggestion: Use correct collocations 'fast pace' and subject-verb agreement ('pace' -> 'puts').

× Actually, I'd like to take a long walk on the boardwalk, uh, of Ini Beach because the, the smell of the Peach and the fresh air, uh, post my mood and uh, uh, unwanted, especially after a tight schedule, uh, and a long day with my daughter, uh.

✓ Actually, I'd like to take a long walk on the boardwalk of Ini Beach because the smell of the sea and the fresh air boost my mood and help me unwind, especially after a tight schedule and a long day with my daughter.

Errors: 'smell of the Peach' likely meant 'smell of the sea' or 'beach'; corrected to 'sea'. 'post my mood' should be 'boost my mood'. 'unwanted' incorrect choice; use 'unwind' (verb). 'after a tight schedule, uh, and a long day' streamlined. Suggestion: Use correct verbs 'boost' and 'unwind' and choose words that convey intended meaning.

× Actually, I have two options. I went lately for work. The first option is around my neighborhood and the second option is a work near my home because it has, uh, swings and the sliding for my daughters and it has a long space, so I can, uh, walk for a long time, uh, with my daughter and that, uh, that's a.

✓ Actually, I have two options. Lately I went for a walk for work. The first option is around my neighborhood and the second option is a park near my home because it has swings and slides for my daughters and a large area, so I can walk for a long time with my daughter.

Errors: 'I went lately for work' awkward; 'Lately I went for a walk' or 'Recently I went' fits. 'a work near my home' -> 'a park near my home'. 'the sliding' -> 'slides'. 'has a long space' -> 'has a large area'. Removed trailing fragment. Suggestion: Use clear nouns for locations ('park') and correct plural forms for playground equipment.