Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant, but slightly long and has minor grammatical issues and redundancy. Begin with a direct topic sentence, tighten sentences, correct phrasing (e.g., “I feel free” not “I can be free”), and avoid repeating “walk” too often by using pronouns or synonyms. Add a linking word when giving reasons to improve coherence.

예시: Yes — I walk a lot. For example, I usually walk to the bus stop or take my dog out. Also, I enjoy the breeze while walking, and I often listen to music because it helps me relax.

제안: Good content and relevant memories, but phrasing needs correction and sentences are slightly repetitive. Use a clear topic sentence, avoid infinitive error (“enjoyed spending”), and link ideas (e.g., “because”) to explain why you liked it. Add one specific detail to make it more vivid.

예시: Yes, I did. I often walked with my neighbors and their children because we liked exploring the neighborhood together. Even in bad weather we would splosh in puddles, and I enjoyed spending time with them because it felt adventurous.

제안: This is a well-structured answer with clear reasons. Improve naturalness by using fewer clauses and smoother linking words, and substitute passive phrasing (“are being put under”) with active phrasing (“face”). Optionally give a brief example to support the points.

예시: I think people walk in parks because it makes them feel free and relaxed. For example, after a busy day at work people go to parks to unwind and meet friends, which helps reduce stress.

제안: Strong, specific answer with personal experience and vivid vocabulary. Improve by tightening expressions (avoid slang like “100%”), use one or two sentences, and add a linking word to connect the personal experience and reason.

예시: I would like to take a long walk along the seaside. I’ve been to Brighton before, where the coastline is breathtaking, and I enjoyed several long walks because the scenery and sea air were very relaxing.

제안: The answer is relevant and personal but a bit disjointed and repetitive. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct awkward phrasing (“I went to my boss” is unclear), and use linking words (“so”) to show cause and effect. Replace vague phrases like “spent with myself” with “had some time alone.”

예시: This morning I walked around the church in my hometown because I arrived at work early. I had some time alone, so I strolled around to relax before meeting my boss.

× I also really enjoyed to spend time with the other kids.

✓ I also really enjoyed spending time with the other kids.

The verb 'enjoy' is followed by a gerund (verb + -ing), not an infinitive. Use 'enjoyed spending' instead of 'enjoyed to spend'. Suggestion: After verbs like 'enjoy', use the -ing form (e.g., 'enjoy reading', 'enjoy meeting').

× In my opinion, it gives them a feeling of freedom, they can relax from the everyday work and pressure that they are being put under, and it's also a great way to socialize with one another.

✓ In my opinion, it gives them a feeling of freedom; they can relax from everyday work and the pressure they are under, and it's also a great way to socialize with one another.

Sentence had redundancy and an awkward passive phrase 'are being put under'. Replacing with 'they are under' is clearer. Also 'everyday work' does not need 'the'. Use a semicolon or separate sentences to avoid a comma splice. Suggestion: Avoid comma splices and prefer active, simpler phrasing (e.g., 'the pressure they are under').

× I usually walk to my bus stop or walk my dog.

✓ I usually walk to the bus stop or walk my dog.

Use the definite article 'the' with 'bus stop' when referring to a specific local bus stop. Without context 'my bus stop' is acceptable but 'the bus stop' is more natural here. Also it's clearer to avoid repeating 'walk' twice by rephrasing, but keeping to the original structure the main correction is article use. Suggestion: Use 'the bus stop' for a specific, known location; use 'my' only if emphasizing ownership or habitual association.

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside for a walk when you were a child?

The phrase 'have a walk' is not wrong but 'go outside for a walk' is more natural in this question form. The main issue is idiomatic phrasing rather than tense. 'Did you often go outside for a walk...' fits the past simple question form. Suggestion: Prefer idiomatic collocations such as 'go for a walk' or 'take a walk' with past simple questions.

× I went to my boss and I actually arrived early so I had some time to spend with myself.

✓ I went to my boss's office and I actually arrived early, so I had some time to myself.

'I went to my boss' is incomplete; add 'boss's office' or 'boss' with a noun. 'Have some time to spend with myself' is awkward; idiomatic expression is 'have some time to myself.' Also add comma before 'so' linking clauses. Suggestion: Use natural collocations ('time to myself', 'boss's office') and include possessive when needed.