Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and direct: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and avoid unnecessary repetition. Use one or two supporting details with linking words. Focus on correct tense and natural phrasing (e.g., 'I don't walk much because I'm busy studying. I usually sit for most of the morning and afternoon, then I go home to study.').

예시: Not really. I don't walk much because I'm a busy student. For example, I sit through most of the morning and afternoon attending classes, and then I go home to study, so I rarely have time for walks.

제안: Answer directly in past tense and give one or two specific details. Use linking words to show frequency and reason. Correct pronouns and verb forms: say 'Yes, I did' or 'I often did.'

예시: Yes, I often did. When I was a child my parents took me to a park every weekend because it was beautiful, and I enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere, so I would always go for a walk there.

제안: Organize your answer: give a topic sentence, then two clear reasons with examples. Use correct vocabulary for health and environment (e.g., 'fresh air', 'less pollution') and linking words like 'because' and 'for example.' Avoid unclear words like 'equal lifestyle.'

예시: People like walking in parks because the environment is pleasant and the air is fresher. For example, parks have many trees which reduce pollution, and walking there feels relaxing and healthier than walking on busy streets.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and then two supporting details with linking words. Improve pronunciation and word choice: use 'quiet' not 'quite' and 'in the afternoon' not 'at the afternoon.' Mention a reason and an example briefly.

예시: I would like to take a long walk on the beach because it is quiet and the air is fresh. For example, I often go there in the afternoon to watch the sunset, which is very beautiful and relaxing.

제안: Use past tense and clear sequence words. Start with a direct sentence saying when and where you walked, then add specific details. Correct verb forms: 'I went to a park after work last week. I enjoyed the fresh air, grabbed a coffee, and listened to music while studying.'

예시: Last week I went for a walk to a nearby park after work. I enjoyed the fresh air, then I grabbed a coffee and listened to music while studying at a coffee shop afterwards.

× Not really. I don't have time to walk as a student.

✓ Not really. As a student, I don't have time to walk.

The original word order is awkward. 'As a student' should be placed at the beginning to modify the subject clearly. This improves clarity and natural sentence flow.

× I always sit on half the morning in the afternoon.

✓ I usually sit for half the morning and the afternoon.

The original has incorrect time phrase placement and preposition. Use 'for' with duration and separate morning and afternoon with 'and' or specify one part. 'Usually' fits 'always' depending on intended meaning; 'I usually' is more natural.

× After that came, I came home, packed my bag to go to study more.

✓ After that, I went home and packed my bag to go study more.

The original repeats 'came' incorrectly and uses awkward phrasing. Use 'After that, I went home' and combine actions with 'and'. 'Go study' is more natural than 'go to study' in conversational English.

× I will probably say yes.

✓ I would probably say yes.

The question asks about past habit, so 'would probably say' is a conditional/modal for opinions about past habits. 'Will' is incorrect here because it's a present-future modal.

× When I was a child, my mom's and my dad Take Me Out for a park every weekend.

✓ When I was a child, my mom and dad took me to a park every weekend.

Problems: possessive 'mom's' is wrong; incorrect capitalisation and verb form 'Take' should be past 'took'; preposition 'to' is needed, and 'me' should be lowercase. Correct pronouns and past tense used.

× The park is very beautiful and I love the atmosphere in there, so I always try to walk.

✓ The park was very beautiful and I loved the atmosphere there, so I always tried to walk.

Because sentence refers to childhood, past tense and past-tense verbs are appropriate. 'In there' is unnatural; use 'there'. 'Try' should match past 'tried' if describing past habit.

× I think because of the atmosphere is beautiful is have trees is equal lifestyle, you can breathing hair without probleming of health, lung cancer or pollution, air pollution and yes I think it is.

✓ I think people like parks because the atmosphere is beautiful and there are many trees; you can breathe clean air without health problems from pollution.

Original contains multiple errors: incorrect connectors, verb forms, and vocabulary ('breathing hair', 'probleming'). Restructure into clear clauses, use 'there are' for existence, 'breathe clean air', and 'health problems from pollution'.

× Well, I would like to take a walk at the beach because it is quite and I enjoy the fresh air.

✓ Well, I would like to take a walk on the beach because it is quiet and I enjoy the fresh air.

Use 'on the beach' not 'at the beach' for walking along shore; adjective 'quiet' is correct instead of 'quite' (which means 'very').

× Uh, sometimes I usually come at the afternoon to watch sunset.

✓ Sometimes I usually come in the afternoon to watch the sunset.

Use 'in the afternoon' for general time of day and 'the sunset' with definite article. Note redundancy 'sometimes'+'usually'—choose one; keep as given structure but recommend using one adverb.

× It's very beautiful. So I think the beach is the best way where to walk.

✓ It's very beautiful, so I think the beach is the best place to walk.

Original has incorrect phrase 'best way where to walk'. Use 'best place to walk' for natural expression and combine sentences with a comma.

× The last time I have work a depot last week, it was a wonderful walk.

✓ The last time I went for a walk was last week after work; it was wonderful.

Original mixes present perfect and past time phrase incorrectly. Use simple past 'went' and place 'last week' appropriately. 'After work' clarifies timing.

× I enjoy the fresh air I after work.

✓ I enjoyed the fresh air after work.

Tense should match past context: 'enjoyed'. Remove extraneous 'I' and position 'after work' after the verb for clarity.

× I also grab some coffee and listening some music while studying at the coffee shop.

✓ I also grabbed some coffee and listened to music while studying at the coffee shop.

Parallel verbs in a past narrative should both be past tense: 'grabbed' and 'listened to'. 'Listening some music' is incorrect: use 'listened to music'. Also match past tense for consistency.