Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and clear: give a realistic number, avoid hesitation sounds (uh), and organize into a topic sentence plus one supporting detail. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct phrase choices (e.g., "walking trip" → "walks" or "daily steps").

예시: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually do about 5,000 to 7,000 steps a day because I enjoy running and regular exercise, and these walks help me relax and clear my mind.

제안: Answer directly with a clear past-tense topic sentence, avoid repetition and grammar errors. Add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, "because" or "for instance").

예시: Yes, I often walked outside as a child because I liked playing with my friends. For example, we would walk to the nearby park almost every afternoon to play games and ride bicycles.

제안: Start with a clear reason and give specific supporting details. Use correct plural and verb forms, avoid filler words, and use linking phrases like "for example" or "also" to organize points.

예시: People like walking in parks because the environment is pleasant and there are many activities available. For example, parks often have playgrounds, exercise paths, and places to sit, so you can exercise, play games, or meet and chat with other people.

제안: Give a brief topic sentence then add two clear specific benefits. Correct word choices ("lakeside", "fresh air", "peace"), avoid hesitation, and use linking words like "because" or "so".

예시: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk by a lakeside because the fresh air and peaceful surroundings would help me relax. I could enjoy the beautiful scenery and feel less stressed.

제안: Use past tense and be specific: name the place and give one or two clear details. Avoid contradictory numbers ("7 to 1000 steps") and filler words. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and link ideas with words like "so" or "because".

예시: Recently I went for a walk up a nearby hill, which had great natural scenery and fresh air. I walked about 1,000 steps and felt tired but relaxed and peaceful afterwards.

× I walk about 7 to 5000 steps a day because I like to do running and uh, exercise.

✓ I walk about 7,000 to 8,000 steps a day because I like running and exercising.

The phrase '7 to 5000 steps' is unclear and mixes singular/plural forms; use a clear plural number with commas. 'Do running' is incorrect collocation; use the gerund 'running'. Use 'exercising' to parallel 'running'. Suggestion: be consistent with plural nouns and use correct verb-noun collocations.

× Where, uh, where my walk is trip is increase and it makes me feel relaxed whenever I'm doing uh, walking and running.

✓ When my walking distance increases, it makes me feel relaxed whenever I walk or run.

The sentence used awkward structures and redundant progressive forms. 'Walk is trip is increase' is ungrammatical. Replace with 'walking distance increases'. Use simple present for habitual effects and parallel verbs 'walk or run' rather than 'I'm doing walking'.

× As I have one go outside to have a walk when I were outside because in my because in my past I usually walk.

✓ I used to go outside for walks a lot when I was a child because in the past I usually walked.

Tense is inconsistent: 'have one go' and 'when I were' are incorrect. Use 'used to' for past habits and 'was' for singular past. Maintain past tense 'walked' for habitual past actions.

× People usually likes to walk in a park because there are, are many stuff to do like uh, playing games and playing, uh, exercising activities.

✓ People usually like to walk in parks because there are many things to do, such as playing games and doing exercise.

Subject 'People' is plural so verb should be 'like' not 'likes'. 'Stuff' is informal and uncountable; use 'things'. 'Playing, exercising activities' is redundant; better to use 'playing games' and 'doing exercise'.

× There are many peoples where uh, in a party there are many people comes where we can, we can communicate with each others.

✓ There are many people at parties where we can communicate with each other.

'Peoples' is incorrect plural form; 'people' is already plural. 'People comes' violates agreement; use 'people come' if needed. 'Each others' should be 'each other'. Simplify sentence to correct plural usage and pronoun form.

× I would like to take a long walk if I had the chance. Uh, like in a lakeside where I can get a fresh year and quality of peace, where I can see a very beautiful scenery view and I will be free of stress and relief.

✓ I would like to take a long walk by a lakeside where I can get fresh air and enjoy peaceful surroundings, see beautiful scenery, and feel relieved of stress.

Mixes conditional forms and awkward noun usage. 'Fresh year' is incorrect; should be 'fresh air'. 'Quality of peace' is unnatural; use 'peaceful surroundings'. Use parallel gerunds/nouns and correct idiom 'feel relieved of stress'.

× As I recently go for a walk, it's too uphill where I can get a fresh air and natural scenery view and a mountains where I can be a feel relaxed and Peace of Mind where I walk about 7 to 1000 steps. I feel so tired and.

✓ Recently I went for a walk on a very steep hill where I got fresh air and enjoyed the natural scenery and the mountains; I felt relaxed and at peace, and I walked about 700 to 1,000 steps so I felt very tired.

Tense inconsistency: 'recently go' should be past 'went'. Use past tense 'got', 'enjoyed', 'felt' for completed actions. Number '7 to 1000' is unclear; clarify as '700 to 1,000'. Fix article use ('a mountains' -> 'the mountains') and idiom 'peace of mind' -> 'at peace' or 'peace of mind'. Ensure verbs agree with past narration.