Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Begin with a direct, concise topic sentence, avoid tense/grammar slips and redundant phrases. Use linking words to add brief supporting details (frequency, purpose, and an example). Keep within 3–4 sentences and use more natural phrasing (e.g., 'I usually don't walk much at home, but when I go out I try to reach 10,000 steps for fitness').

예시: I usually don't walk much at home, but when I go out I try to reach about 10,000 steps for fitness. For example, I walk to work and around my neighborhood most days, which helps me stay active. This routine keeps me healthy and energetic.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then add specific supporting details and use linking words. Fix grammar (past tense) and avoid vague repetitions. Mention a concrete memory or frequency to make the answer richer.

예시: Yes, I did. My parents loved traveling, so we often explored different places and went for walks together. For instance, we used to hike up a hill near our town every summer, and sometimes we walked for hours in shopping malls to reach our daily step goal.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and avoid repeating 'because.' Use cohesive linking words and provide specific reasons or examples (health, scenery, fresh air). Vary vocabulary (relaxing, greenery, fresh air) and limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: People enjoy walking in parks because the greenery and fresh air make the experience relaxing. In addition, parks offer pleasant scenery and quieter paths, which helps reduce stress and is good for light exercise.

제안: Answer directly, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce repetition and fix awkward phrasing. Mention particular locations or features (Alpine trails, lakes) to make the reason more vivid.

예시: I'd like to take a long walk in Switzerland because of its famous Alpine scenery. For example, hiking along a lakeside trail near Interlaken would offer peaceful views, fresh mountain air, and well-marked paths ideal for a long, relaxing walk.

제안: Respond in past tense with a clear topic sentence, then add a specific detail or reason. Correct verb forms and avoid filler words like 'actually' where unnecessary. Give a short description of the walk to enrich the answer.

예시: A few days ago I went to the mall and walked around while shopping. I usually walk several laps through the corridors and use that time to reach my daily step target and browse the stores.

× I don't usually walk a lot when I'm at home, but whenever I go outside I usually hit 10,000 steps because I needed it to be fit.

✓ I don't usually walk a lot when I'm at home, but whenever I go outside I usually hit 10,000 steps because I need it to stay fit.

The clause 'because I needed it to be fit' incorrectly uses past tense 'needed' while the rest of the sentence is in present habit (don't usually, usually hit). Use present tense 'need' to match habitual action and 'to stay fit' is a more natural expression than 'to be fit'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and use collocations like 'need to stay fit'.

× Yes, because my parents love to travel so we go to different places.

✓ Yes, because my parents love to travel, so we go to different places.

The original sentence lacks appropriate punctuation causing a run-on feel; grammatically the verbs 'love' and 'go' are correct for plural 'parents' and 'we'. Add a comma before 'so' to join the clauses correctly. Suggestion: separate independent clauses with a comma + coordinating conjunction.

× We go up on the hill and walk around like in the mall where we usually hit 10,000 steps.

✓ We go up the hill and walk around, like in a mall, where we usually hit 10,000 steps.

Use 'go up the hill' not 'go up on the hill'. Also add articles and commas to improve clarity: 'like in a mall' or 'like when we are in a mall'. The structure required small preposition and article adjustments rather than verb form changes. Suggestion: use 'go up the hill' and include articles and commas to separate phrases.

× I think people like to walk in parks because it calms them because the park has trees, nature and it's windy, so people love to walk and stroll around.

✓ I think people like to walk in parks because it calms them: the parks have trees and nature, and they are often breezy, so people enjoy walking and strolling around.

The sentence repeats 'because' and mixes singular/plural references ('the park' then 'it's windy') which creates pronoun and reference confusion. Change to plural 'parks' and 'they are' for agreement, and avoid repetition by using a colon or restructuring. Suggestion: keep consistent reference (singular or plural) and avoid repeated conjunctions.

× If I had the chance to take a long walk, I would go to Switzerland. That country is known for its nature and I love the sense of calmness and peace and I look and I like its surroundings, so that's why I like it there.

✓ If I had the chance to take a long walk, I would go to Switzerland. That country is known for its nature, and I love the sense of calm and peace and I like its surroundings, so that's why I would like to go there.

The clause 'I look and I like its surroundings' is awkward and mixes tenses and verbs. Use 'I like its surroundings' and change final clause to 'I would like to go there' to match the conditional 'If I had... I would'. Also 'calmness and peace' is wordy; 'calm and peace' is more natural. Suggestion: keep conditional consistency and simplify phrases.

× Actually, a while ago I went to the mall and stroll around and shop for a while and that's where I take my 10,000 steps.

✓ Actually, a while ago I went to the mall and strolled around and shopped for a while, and that's where I took my 10,000 steps.

The sequence refers to a past event 'a while ago', so verbs should be in the past tense: 'strolled' and 'shopped'. Also 'take' should be 'took' to match past time. Suggestion: when describing completed past actions, use past tense for all verbs in the sequence.