Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答を簡潔にし、文法と語彙を改善してください。まず直接質問に答える冒頭文（トピックセンテンス）を明確にし、その後に1〜2の支持詳細をリンクワードでつなげてください。例えば「work」という単語はここでは不適切なので「walk」を使い、時制と冠詞・前置詞の誤り（例："while working" → "while walking"、"having a chat" → "have a chat"）を直しましょう。発音や流暢さに注意し、冗長な繰り返し（"long distance long time"）を避けて自然な表現に置き換えてください。

예시: Yes, I walk quite a lot. I usually walk for exercise because it strengthens my body and improves my endurance. In addition, I sometimes walk with friends, so I can chat and relax while exercising.

제안: 過去の習慣を述べる際は過去形を使い、理由を明確かつ簡潔に説明してください。語順や不自然な語彙（"try big cars"や"Refreshing"等）を修正し、論理をつなぐ接続語（"because", "so"など）を適切に使ってください。また不明瞭な部分は具体化しましょう（例：父が運転を好んだため、危険があると考えられていた）。

예시: Not really. When I was a child, I rarely went out because my father liked to drive large cars and worried that it would be dangerous for me to be outside alone.

제안: はじめに直接的な答えを1文で示し、その後2つ程度の具体的理由を接続詞でつなぎましょう。語彙の選択（"entail"は不適切）や文法（冠詞、単複、前置詞）を直し、最後に不完全な文（"Besides, there are no.")を避けてください。より具体的な例（ベンチや散歩道、静けさなど）を挙げると良いです。

예시: I think people like walking in parks because they offer natural scenery and a safe environment. For example, parks have many trees and benches, so city residents can enjoy fresh air and a peaceful walk.

제안: 仮定法と条件文の形（"if I had the chance"）を適切に使い、理由を明確に述べてください。語彙の誤り（"business playing area"や"work for long distance"）を修正し、場所の特徴を具体的に説明しましょう。また比較表現や接続詞（"because", "so"）を正しく使って論理をつなげ、単文を短く簡潔に保ってください。

예시: If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk around Hokkaido because it has vast farmland and beautiful landscapes. Also, there is less traffic there, so walking long distances would feel safe and relaxing.

제안: 過去の出来事を述べる際は過去形を統一し、場所の名前と距離の表現を自然にしてください（例："a 5-kilometer route"）。因果や結果を説明する時は接続詞を使い、句や文の省略を避けて完全なセンテンスにしましょう。また"facilitated"は不自然なので、"designed"や"built"などに置き換えてください。

예시: I went to a place known as the "Empire of Paris in Japan" last week, which has a five-kilometer walking route. The route is uninterrupted by traffic lights, so my friends and I could walk continuously and enjoy the stroll.

× While working I can also having a chat with my friends.

✓ While walking I can also have a chat with my friends.

The original sentence uses 'having' incorrectly after the modal-like structure 'can'. After 'can' the base form of the verb ('have') must be used, not the present participle ('having'). Also 'working' is likely wrong contextually; 'walking' matches the topic. Suggestion: Use 'can have' or 'can be having' only in progressive contexts with appropriate structure (e.g., 'can be having' rarely used).

× When I was child, I hardly go out and walk around because my father likes to try big cars, so I'm not permitted to go outside. Refreshing that it's very there are risk to let me alone in front.

✓ When I was a child, I hardly went out and walked around because my father liked to buy big cars, so I was not permitted to go outside. I remember that it was very risky to leave me alone in front of the house.

Multiple errors: missing article 'a' before 'child' (Article errors), wrong tense (present 'go' should be past 'went' to match 'When I was a child'), 'likes to try big cars' is awkward and likely means 'liked to buy big cars' (verb choice), and 'I'm not permitted' should match past: 'I was not permitted'. The second sentence is ungrammatical; 'Refreshing that' is wrong — use 'I remember that', and fix word order and vocabulary: 'it was very risky to leave me alone in front of the house'. Suggestions: ensure consistent past tense for past-time stories and use appropriate articles and verb choices. Note: Corrections involve items from IDs 5 (Past tense issue) and 22 (Article errors), but primary structure error addressed.

× Yes I do. I like to work and I like to work for long distance long time.

✓ Yes, I do. I like to walk and I like to walk long distances for a long time.

The student wrote 'work' instead of 'walk', likely a typo. Also 'long distance long time' is incorrect word order and count: use plural 'distances' and include 'for' before 'a long time' or rephrase 'for long periods'. Suggestions: use correct verb 'walk' and natural collocations: 'long distances' and 'for a long time'.

× As I walk for long my body becomes strong and my endurance will be enhanced.

✓ As I walk for a long time my body becomes strong and my endurance is enhanced.

Mixes present and future improperly. 'As I walk for a long time' describes a habitual or general effect, so results should be in present tense: 'my body becomes strong' or 'my endurance is enhanced' (present passive). Using 'will be enhanced' implies future; choose present to match habitual tense. Suggest keeping consistent present tense for general truths. (IDs involved: 6 Present tense issue and 7 Future tense issue.)

× Hokkaido has business playing area with farmland so and with with the beautiful landscape so I want to go there and work for long distance.

✓ Hokkaido has business and recreational areas, farmland, and beautiful landscapes, so I want to go there and walk long distances.

Original uses unclear nouns 'business playing area' and repetition 'with with'. 'Work for long distance' is incorrect; topic is walking, so 'walk long distances' (base verb) fits. Keep parallel noun list and correct verb phrase. Suggest choosing appropriate nouns and using 'walk' not 'work' when talking about walking.

× Park is suitable place for walking I think because it provides nature and safety.

✓ A park is a suitable place for walking, I think, because it offers natural surroundings and safety.

Missing articles: 'Park' should be 'A park' and 'suitable place' should be 'a suitable place'. 'Provides nature' is unnatural; use 'offers natural surroundings' or 'a natural environment'. Also add commas for clarity. Suggest using correct articles and natural collocations.

× There are many trees and city people can entail more refreshing air surrounding by them.

✓ There are many trees and city people can enjoy more refreshing air surrounded by them.

'Entail' is incorrect verb choice; use 'enjoy'. 'Surrounding by them' is wrong order; correct passive participle is 'surrounded by them'. Also 'city people' could be 'city residents'. Suggest using correct verbs and passive forms. (IDs: 12 Incorrect use of pronouns and 13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs.)

× Besides, there are no.

✓ Besides, there are no other distractions.

The sentence is incomplete ('there are no' what?). Provide the missing noun to complete thought. Suggest finishing sentences fully and ensuring clarity.

× I want to walk around Hokkaido if I have a chance.

✓ I would like to walk around Hokkaido if I had the chance.

The conditional for an unreal or hypothetical situation requires 'would' + base verb and past tense in the if-clause: 'If I had the chance, I would like to...' Using present 'I have a chance' is less natural for hypothetical. Suggest using standard second conditional for hypothetical desires. (ID: 7 Future tense but corrected using conditional; also 6 Present tense issue.)

× Besides, it's very safe because there are less traffic.

✓ Besides, it's very safe because there is less traffic.

'Traffic' is an uncountable noun and takes singular verb 'is' not 'are'. Also 'less' is acceptable with uncountable nouns. Suggest matching singular verb with uncountable noun.

× I went Empire's Paris of Japan last week that has a 5 kilometer.

✓ I went to the 'Empire's Paris of Japan' last week; it has a 5-kilometer route.

Missing preposition 'to' after 'went'. Tense is past which is fine, but sentence structure is awkward and missing article/measure phrasing. Add hyphen in '5-kilometer' as adjective before 'route' and separate clauses. Suggest using 'went to' and clearer clause structure.

× Just 5 kilometer around route was facilitated without any signals, so I can easily walk without stop and I can enjoy with my friends.

✓ The 5-kilometer loop was designed without signals, so I could easily walk without stopping and enjoy it with my friends.

Use '5-kilometer' as compound adjective and 'loop' or 'route'. 'Facilitated' is wrong; use 'designed' or 'provided'. 'Without stop' should be 'without stopping' (gerund) and tense should be past to match 'last week' ('could' instead of 'can'). 'Enjoy with my friends' needs an object: 'enjoy it with my friends'. Suggest correct prepositions, verb forms, and consistent past tense.