Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and coherent: give a clear topic sentence, avoid contradictions and filler (e.g. "yeah"). Clarify 'active' vs staying home which is confusing. Use linking words to explain reasons and frequency. Keep to 2–4 sentences and use precise vocabulary (e.g. "rarely", "prefer staying at home").

예시: No, I rarely walk. I prefer staying at home because I enjoy quiet activities like reading and online hobbies, so I usually exercise indoors rather than going for walks outside.

제안: Open with a clear direct answer, then give concise reason and a specific example. Avoid informal fillers ("you know", "things like that"). Use correct grammar ("made me go", "they wanted me to be active").

예시: Yes, I did, but usually because my parents encouraged it. They often took me to the park or enrolled me in outdoor activities to help me become more active, for example weekend hikes organized by the family.

제안: Start with a direct general statement, then give 2–3 specific reasons using linking words (e.g. "because", "for example"). Avoid vague phrases and fillers. Use precise vocabulary like "improve fitness", "reduce stress", "enjoy nature".

예시: People often walk in parks because it improves fitness and reduces stress. For example, fresh air and greenery make exercise more pleasant, and some people walk to socialise or to have quiet time alone.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence naming the place, then explain why with specific sensory details. Fix grammar ("if I had the chance") and complete thoughts. Use linking words ("because", "so"). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along the coastline because I find the sea breeze and the sound of waves very relaxing. Walking by the sea helps me think clearly and unwind.

제안: Answer directly and concisely: state where and why, then give a short detail. Remove hesitations and repetitions. Use correct word order ("I went to City Hall to pick up my passport") and avoid unnecessary background unless relevant.

예시: Yesterday I went to City Hall to pick up my passport. I had booked an appointment to collect it because I needed it to register for the IELTS test.

× I'm actually an introverted and an active person, so I mostly stay at home and I yeah, I prefer staying at home rather than going outside and walking outside.

✓ I'm actually an introvert and not very active, so I mostly stay at home; I prefer staying home rather than going outside for walks.

The original mixes adjective forms awkwardly: 'introverted' (adjective) is acceptable but 'an introvert' (noun) sounds more natural in this context; 'an active person' contradicts the meaning and should be 'not very active'. Repetition 'staying at home' and 'walking outside' is redundant. Improve clarity by choosing consistent forms and avoiding repetition. Suggestion: decide noun vs adjective and keep logical consistency (e.g., 'I'm an introvert and not very active').

× My parents made me to go outside and doing something outside 'cause they want me to be active person and you know, things like that.

✓ My parents made me go outside and do things because they wanted me to be an active person.

After 'made' (causative), the bare infinitive should be used ('made me go'), not 'to go'. 'Doing' should be base form 'do' to match structure. Tense consistency: speaker refers to past, so 'want' should be 'wanted'. Also add article 'an' before 'active person'. Suggestion: use 'made + object + base verb' and keep past tense when describing past events.

× Well, it highly depends on person to person and I personally think that people prefer walking outside, uh, regarding of their health, you know, walking can keep our health, stay healthy. So I think they walk.

✓ Well, it highly depends from person to person, and I personally think that people prefer walking outside regarding their health; walking helps them stay healthy, so I think they walk for exercise.

Use 'from person to person' or 'from one person to another' not 'on person to person'. 'Regarding of' is incorrect; use 'regarding' or 'because of' or 'for'. 'Keep our health' is awkward; 'helps them stay healthy' is natural. Added 'for exercise' to clarify purpose. Suggestion: use correct prepositions: 'depends on' vs 'depends from'—note: both exist but 'depends from' is less common; better: 'depends from person to person' or 'varies from person to person'. Consider 'varies' as alternative.

× Well, if there are chance to walk alone and I I would say I prefer walking along the coastline.

✓ Well, if there were a chance to walk alone, I would say I prefer walking along the coastline.

In conditional (hypothetical) clauses, use subjunctive past 'if there were a chance' not 'are chance'. Also add article 'a' before 'chance'. The second clause 'I would say I prefer' is acceptable, but ensure tense consistency. Suggestion: use 'if there were a chance' for unreal present/future conditions and include articles where needed.

× Umm, yesterday I went to a City Hall to get my passport 'cause I actually, uh, booked a reservation to get a my my passport so that I can register on IELTS test.

✓ Umm, yesterday I went to City Hall to get my passport because I had booked an appointment to get my passport so that I could register for the IELTS test.

Use 'City Hall' without 'a' when referring to the building in general. 'Booked a reservation' is redundant; use 'booked an appointment' or 'made a reservation'. When reporting past-before-past, use past perfect 'had booked'. 'So that I can' should be 'so that I could' to keep past narrative. Use 'register for the IELTS test' (preposition 'for'). Remove duplicate 'my'. Suggestion: use past perfect for earlier past actions and correct collocations: 'booked an appointment', 'register for'.