Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and relevant to the question: say whether you walk often, then explain briefly why. Correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g. 'exercise', 'walking' not 'evoking'), avoid repetition. Keep it within 2–3 clear sentences and use a linking word when adding reason.

예시: Yes, I walk quite often. Because I spend most of my work hours sitting, I try to walk every day to get some exercise and stay healthy.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give specific reasons and correct tense usage. Avoid incorrect word choice ('working' -> 'walking' or 'playing') and tense errors (use past simple consistently). Use a linking word to connect reason.

예시: No, I did not go for walks very often when I was a child. I spent most of my time studying, and when we went out my mother usually drove us in the car.

제안: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Use varied vocabulary (e.g. 'nature', 'green space', 'fresh air') and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Keep to 2–3 sentences maximum.

예시: People walk in parks to enjoy nature and fresh air, and to relax away from the noise of the city. For example, parks offer green space for walking, exercising, or meeting friends.

제안: Use a clear conditional structure and correct vocabulary ('go trekking' not 'take Trekkings'; 'exposed to nature' not 'natural conditions'). Avoid fillers ('umm') and repetition. Provide one concise reason linked with a linking word.

예시: If I had the chance, I would go trekking in the mountains because being in nature helps me relax and feel refreshed.

제안: Answer in past simple clearly and use natural phrases ('near my house' instead of 'in my vicinity'). Explain briefly why you went and avoid awkward expressions ('unstuck in my works'). Use a linking word to connect purpose.

예시: I went for a walk near my house recently because I felt stuck with my work and wanted to clear my mind and get organised.

× Yes, I do work a lot on a daily basis.

✓ Yes, I work a lot on a daily basis.

The original uses 'do work' unnecessarily; simple present 'I work' is correct for habitual actions. Remove auxiliary 'do' unless used for emphasis or in questions/negatives. Suggestion: use 'I work a lot' for natural speech.

× Because I spend most most of my work hours sitting, I lack ex some exercises.

✓ Because I spend most of my working hours sitting, I lack exercise.

There are repeated words 'most most' and incorrect fragments 'ex some exercises'. 'Working hours' is the correct noun phrase and 'exercise' is uncountable here. Suggestion: say 'most of my working hours' and 'I lack exercise.'

× Therefore evoking can be a good solution to it.

✓ Therefore walking can be a good solution to this.

'Evoking' is the wrong word; likely intended 'walking'. Also 'to it' is awkward; use 'to this' or 'for that problem.' Ensure verb choice matches meaning.

× In my childhood, I did not often go outside to have walks because I had to spend most of my time studying and I could not spare time for working.

✓ In my childhood, I did not often go outside for walks because I had to spend most of my time studying and I could not spare time to work.

Use 'for walks' not 'to have walks' and 'spare time to work' is the correct infinitive structure. 'For working' is awkward here. Maintain simple past 'did not' consistent with 'had to'.

× Whenever I go somewhere, my mother took there by cars.

✓ Whenever I went somewhere, my mother took me there by car.

Tense should be past ('went') to match context. Missing object 'me' and plural 'cars' is unnecessary; use singular 'car' for the means of transport. Word order should be 'took me there by car.'

× Because they want to enjoy the natural conditions in the park.

✓ Because they want to enjoy the natural environment in the park.

'Natural conditions' is awkward; 'natural environment' is the appropriate collocation. Present tense 'want' is fine.

× So when we are living in urbanized areas like Tokyo, it is far hard to find the natural places like parks.

✓ When we live in urbanized areas like Tokyo, it is very hard to find natural places such as parks.

Use simple present 'live' for general statements; 'far hard' is incorrect — use 'very hard.' 'Such as' or 'like' is acceptable; avoid repeating 'the' before 'natural places.'

× So they want to enjoy the natural conditions.

✓ So they want to enjoy the natural environment.

Repeats earlier idea and uses awkward phrase 'natural conditions.' Use 'natural environment' for clarity and natural collocation.

× If I have time, I'd like to visit mountains and take Trekkings.

✓ If I had time, I'd like to visit the mountains and go trekking.

The conditional sentence mixing is inconsistent: for hypothetical use 'If I had time' with 'I'd like.' 'Visit mountains' needs article 'the' or 'visit mountain areas.' 'Take Trekkings' is incorrect; use 'go trekking.'

× It's gonna be a fantastic moment for me to be able to, umm, get exposed to natural, natural conditions, and that might make me, umm, refreshed and relaxed.

✓ It would be a fantastic opportunity for me to be exposed to nature, and that would make me feel refreshed and relaxed.

Informal 'gonna' should be 'would be' in this conditional. 'Get exposed to natural, natural conditions' is repetitive and unnatural; use 'exposed to nature.' Also use 'feel refreshed' rather than 'make me refreshed.' Remove filler words for clarity.

× I took a walk in my vicinity lately as I was unstuck in my works.

✓ I took a walk near my home recently because I was stuck on my work.

Use 'recently' instead of 'lately' for past reference; 'in my vicinity' is awkward — 'near my home' works better. 'unstuck' is incorrect; likely 'stuck.' 'Works' should be 'work' (uncountable) and 'stuck on my work' is natural.

× I went out to make myself organized, so I took a walk then.

✓ I went out to get organized, so I took a walk.

'Make myself organized' is awkward; 'get organized' is the natural expression. 'Then' is redundant after 'so' and can be omitted.