Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more grammatically correct, concise and structured: start with a direct topic sentence, give one or two specific supporting details, and avoid filler words. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct verb forms (e.g., "keeps me on my feet").

예시: Yes, I walk a lot because my job as a care worker keeps me on my feet. For example, I spend most of my shift moving between residents to help them with daily tasks and check on their needs. Consequently, I rarely sit down during work.

제안: Provide a clear, complete response with specific details and avoid repeating the same idea. Use linking words to sequence events and finish sentences. Mention what made the memory memorable (activities, feelings).

예시: Yes, I often went outside as a child. For instance, my parents regularly took me to the park and once we had a memorable day trip to Arundel Castle, where we explored the gardens, had a picnic, and I remember feeling excited by the castle's towers.

제안: Keep the answer focused and use varied vocabulary and linking words (e.g., "because", "for example"). Give one or two specific reasons and an example of activities people do in parks. Avoid repetition and informal phrases like "or something."

예시: People like walking in parks because it helps them relax and get fresh air. For example, after a stressful day at work, many people take a walk to clear their minds, practice light exercise or even do a short meditation, which is cheaper than going to a spa.

제안: Use correct conditionals and concise phrasing, include specific activities you would do and reasons why. Avoid repeating words like "big" and unnecessary filler.

예시: If I had the chance, I would like to take a long walk at Arundel Castle because of its extensive gardens and historic architecture. I would spend the day strolling through the grounds, visiting the castle rooms, and sampling local food to enjoy the atmosphere and fresh air.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence and use past simple consistently. Provide a couple of specific details (what you saw or did) and use linking words for sequence. Avoid filler like "uh".

예시: Last Saturday I went to the local park near my home with my husband. We arrived at about 10:30, walked around the lake, had coffee on a bench and chatted for an hour before returning home.

× As I walk a lot because my job as a care worker keep me constantly on my feet and I spend most of the time, uh, between residents and completing with daily tasks, check on them.

✓ As I walk a lot because my job as a care worker keeps me constantly on my feet and I spend most of the time between residents, completing daily tasks and checking on them.

Errors: subject-verb agreement ('keep' should be 'keeps') is a third person singular issue and present simple tense; gerund/participle forms needed ('completing' and 'checking' are correct continuous actions). Suggestion: Use third person singular verb 'keeps' to match singular subject 'my job', remove unnecessary preposition 'with' after 'completing', and parallel gerunds for activities ('completing daily tasks and checking on them'). NOTE: Classified under 'Verb in the present participle form' because the sentence required correct use of present participles for parallel actions.

× Of course, when I was a child, my parents took me to the park and Arundel Castle, so it was a memorable incident.

✓ Of course, when I was a child, my parents took me to the park and to Arundel Castle, so it was a memorable trip.

Errors: word choice and article/preposition use. 'Incident' is awkward for a pleasant visit; 'trip' fits better. Also include 'to' before 'Arundel Castle' for parallel structure. Suggestion: Use 'trip' and maintain parallel 'to' + place structure. NOTE: Classified under 'Past tense issue' because the sentence describes past events and needed correct past-tense phrasing and word choice.

× That castle was nice.

✓ The castle was nice.

Error: article choice. 'That' is acceptable in context but 'the castle' is more natural when referring back to a specific castle already mentioned. Suggestion: Use 'the castle' for natural reference to a previously mentioned place.

× So my parents took me into that castle to do the day trip.

✓ So my parents took me into that castle for a day trip.

Error: incorrect preposition/phrase 'to do the day trip'. Use 'for a day trip' to express purpose. Suggestion: Use 'for a day trip' or 'on a day trip' for natural English.

× So we had the food and we just.

✓ So we had some food and then we left.

Error: sentence fragment and article use. 'We just.' is incomplete. 'The food' is overly specific; 'some food' is natural. Suggestion: Complete the sentence with a follow-up action, e.g., 'then we left' or 'then we ate and enjoyed ourselves.'

× I think it helps you to relax your mind.

✓ I think it helps you relax your mind.

Error: unnecessary 'to' after 'helps' when followed by a verb. Use bare infinitive or omit 'to' with 'help'. Suggestion: Use 'helps you relax' rather than 'helps you to relax' for more natural spoken English.

× You can get fresh air if you are working in a stressed environment.

✓ You can get fresh air if you are working in a stressful environment.

Error: incorrect adjective form 'stressed' vs 'stressful'. 'Stressful' describes environments that cause stress. Suggestion: Use 'stressful' to modify 'environment'.

× You can go to the park, just have a walk and you can relax yourself like meditation.

✓ You can go to the park, just take a walk and relax yourself, like in meditation.

Errors: verb choice and prepositional phrase. 'Have a walk' is acceptable but 'take a walk' is more natural. Also add 'in' before 'meditation' to show manner. Suggestion: Use 'take a walk and relax, like in meditation.'

× You don't need any expensive things like spa or something.

✓ You don't need anything expensive like a spa or similar services.

Errors: quantifier and article use. 'Any expensive things' is awkward; 'anything expensive' is natural. 'Spa' needs an article 'a spa' or plural. Suggestion: Use 'anything expensive like a spa'.

× If I have a chance I would like to go to Arundel Castle.

✓ If I had the chance, I would like to go to Arundel Castle.

Error: incorrect conditional tense. The sentence mixes present simple 'If I have a chance' with conditional 'would like'. Use second conditional 'If I had the chance' for hypothetical desire. Suggestion: Use 'If I had the chance' or change to 'If I have the chance, I will go.'

× It's a big and beautiful castle around a big garden.

✓ It's a large, beautiful castle surrounded by a big garden.

Errors: repetition ('big' twice) and incorrect preposition 'around'. Use 'surrounded by' to indicate the castle is encircled by a garden; use 'large' to vary adjectives and comma to separate. Suggestion: Avoid repeating adjectives and use correct prepositions.

× So I just want to spend my whole day in the garden just walking and roaming around the castle and get a new experience, try out food and fresh air.

✓ So I would like to spend the whole day in the garden, walking and roaming around the castle, getting a new experience, and trying different foods and fresh air.

Errors: mixed tenses and parallelism. 'I just want' conflicts with hypothetical earlier; better 'I would like' to match conditional. Use gerunds in parallel ('walking', 'roaming', 'getting', 'trying') and plural 'foods' or 'different foods'. Suggestion: Use consistent conditional/modal and parallel gerund phrases.

× Uh, last Saturday I went to a park, local park near my home.

✓ Uh, last Saturday I went to a local park near my home.

Errors: article placement and word order. Use 'a local park' not 'a park, local park'. Suggestion: Use adjective before noun: 'a local park near my home.'

× I went there with my husband around 10:30.

✓ I went there with my husband at around 10:30.

Error: preposition for time. Use 'at around 10:30' for approximate time. Suggestion: Use 'at' before times.

× So we just walked around the park and we sat down in the park and we had our coffee, just relax our mind, had a little chit chat and we just came back home.

✓ So we walked around the park, sat down, had our coffee, relaxed our minds, had a little chit-chat, and then came back home.

Errors: tense consistency and parallel structure. Remove repetitive 'we' where unnecessary, keep past tense consistent ('relaxed' not 'relax'), and hyphenate 'chit-chat' or use as compound. Suggestion: Use past simple consistently and parallel verbs for smooth flow.