Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural. Start with a direct topic sentence like “Yes, I walk to work most days.” Then add one or two specific supporting details linked with a connector (e.g., because, so) and avoid redundancy (e.g., ‘keeps me some exercise’ → ‘gives me exercise’). Watch small grammar points (article use) and natural collocations (“clear my mind”).

예시: Yes, I walk to work most days because it gives me regular exercise and helps me clear my mind before the day starts.

제안: Begin with a clear topic sentence: “Yes, I often did.” Then give specific supporting details and use correct tense and vocabulary (e.g., ‘liked to exercise’, ‘after school’, ‘a pleasant group routine’). Use linking words like ‘because’ and ‘so’ to connect ideas and avoid awkward phrases.

예시: Yes, I often did. My mother liked to exercise, so we walked together every evening after school, and our neighbours usually joined us, which made it a pleasant group routine.

제안: Start with a clear general statement: “People like parks because…” Use accurate vocabulary and simpler comparisons. Avoid unclear references (e.g., ‘BC roads’) and reduce repetition. Provide one or two specific reasons linked with connectors and give a short example.

예시: People like parks because they are quieter and more pleasant than busy streets, and you can meet others there. For example, families and friends often gather in parks to chat or exercise together.

제안: Give a direct answer then clarify with specific reasons. Fix grammar (conditional tense: “If I had the chance, I’d love to walk to the church.”), avoid repetition, and be consistent (city centre vs quiet). Describe concrete features (e.g., flower beds, peaceful atmosphere) in two short sentences.

예시: If I had the chance, I’d take a long walk to the church about 15 minutes from my home in Canberra city centre because it has lovely flower beds and a very peaceful atmosphere.

제안: Answer directly in past tense: “I went to the shared garden recently.” Clarify location and give specific details (when, how long, what you did). Fix unclear phrases (‘I'm leaving in the garden’, ‘pleasant double place’). Use linking words (for example, ‘so’, ‘after’).

예시: I went to the shared garden behind my building recently. It’s a spacious, well-lit area where I often walk in the evenings and sometimes play games with friends.

× Do you walk alone? Yes, I usually walk to work.

✓ Do you walk alone? Yes, I usually walk to work.

No change needed; pronoun use is correct. (Included for completeness.)

× I put walking as a healthy habit and I prefer it to taking the bus or driving because it keeps me some exercise and helps me clear my mind before the day starts.

✓ I consider walking a healthy habit, and I prefer it to taking the bus or driving because it gives me some exercise and helps me clear my mind before the day starts.

Use 'consider' instead of 'put' for expressing an opinion; 'gives me some exercise' is the correct collocation in English, not 'keeps me some exercise'. Use a comma before 'and' joining two independent clauses. Suggestion: Learn common verbs that collocate with 'exercise' (get, give, provide).

× Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

✓ Did you often go outside to have a walk when you were a child?

Question is correctly formed in past tense; no change needed.

× When I was a child, I often went for walks with my mother because she was a bit worried about her health and like to exercise every evening after my classes.

✓ When I was a child, I often went for walks with my mother because she was a bit worried about her health and liked to exercise every evening after my classes.

Subject 'she' is third person singular in past time, so the verb should be 'liked' (past tense third person), not 'like'. Suggestion: Match verb tense and form to the time frame (past -> past forms).

× Our neighbors usually joined us too, so it just became a pleasant grow routine and I enjoyed the company.

✓ Our neighbors usually joined us too, so it just became a pleasant group routine and I enjoyed the company.

Likely intended word is 'group' not 'grow'. This is a word choice/spelling error affecting sentence meaning. 'Pleasant group routine' makes sense; keep past tense consistent. Suggestion: Proofread for typographic errors and choose appropriate nouns ('group routine').

× Park is a place normally people gathering so comparing to the BC roads, parks are very quiet and very pleasant and we can meet many people in there and we can became friends so that's why most of the people likes to walk in the garden or park.

✓ A park is a place where people normally gather, so compared to the busy roads, parks are very quiet and pleasant; we can meet many people there and make friends, so that's why most people like to walk in a garden or park.

Use 'A park' (indefinite article) for a general noun. Use 'where people normally gather' for correct relative clause structure. 'Comparing to' should be 'compared to'. 'BC roads' is unclear; likely 'busy roads'. 'In there' should be 'there'. 'Became friends' should be 'make friends'. 'Most of the people likes' -> 'most people like' for subject-verb agreement and natural phrasing. Suggestion: Use articles correctly, correct comparative phrasing, and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× If I get a chance I'd love to go to the church.

✓ If I got a chance, I'd love to go to the church.

The conditional 'I'd love' pairs naturally with a past simple 'If I got' for a hypothetical present/future. 'If I get a chance' is not wrong colloquially, but matching conditional forms improves accuracy. Suggestion: For hypothetical wishes, use 'If I got...' with 'I'd'.

× It's up 15 minutes away from my home and the church is situated in Canberra city centre.

✓ It's about a 15-minute walk from my home, and the church is situated in Canberra city centre.

Use 'about a 15-minute walk' or 'about 15 minutes away' rather than 'up 15 minutes away'. Use hyphen in '15-minute' when used as an adjective. Suggestion: Use common distance/time expressions: 'about 15 minutes away' or 'about a 15-minute walk'.

× If it's city also they it is a quiet place also it's filled with the nice flowers and very quiet so I love.

✓ If it's in the city, it is a quiet place filled with nice flowers, and I love it.

Sentence has word order and redundancy problems ('also they it is', repeated 'quiet'). Correct structure: 'If it's in the city, it is a quiet place filled with nice flowers, and I love it.' Suggestion: Keep sentences concise, avoid repeating adjectives, and ensure subject and verb agree ('I love it').

× Where did you go for a walk lately?

✓ Where did you go for a walk lately?

Question uses past simple 'did' with 'lately' — acceptable in casual speech. No correction needed.

× I'm leaving in the garden, so we have a shared garden.

✓ I live in a building with a shared garden.

'I'm leaving in the garden' is incorrect; likely intended 'I live' and context about shared garden needs clarity. 'Live in the garden' is ungrammatical. Provide clearer noun ('building') to indicate shared garden. Suggestion: Use 'live' for residence and clarify location: 'I live in a building with a shared garden.'

× For us it's just behind, so whenever I get turns I'll have to go there.

✓ For us it's just behind the building, so whenever it is my turn I'll go there.

'Just behind' needs an object (e.g., 'the building'). 'Whenever I get turns' is incorrect; use 'whenever it is my turn' or 'when it's my turn'. Suggestion: Use proper nouns/objects with prepositions and correct expressions for turns ('my turn').

× Even in the late nights it is a pleasant double place.

✓ Even late at night it is a pleasant, quiet place.

'Late nights' should be 'late at night' and 'double place' is unclear; likely meant 'pleasant, quiet place'. Choose appropriate adjectives that convey intended meaning. Suggestion: Use idiomatic time expressions and clear adjectives.

× It's a long enough place we can walk and we can play there.

✓ It's a large enough place where we can walk and play.

Add relative clause marker 'where' and streamline 'we can walk and play' (no need to repeat 'we can'). Suggestion: Use 'where' to link place and activities and avoid unnecessary repetition.