Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more fluent and concise: state the hobby clearly, use correct vocabulary, reduce hesitations and filler words, and organize your answer with a simple reason and a time phrase. Use linking words to connect ideas. Aim for 2–3 clear sentences and correct verb forms (e.g., 'go jogging at night').

예시: I enjoy jogging at night. I usually jog for an hour or two several times a week because I feel uncomfortable if I don’t exercise for a long time, and running helps me relax.

제안: Good content and clear topic. Improve grammar and clarity: correct noun forms, reduce repetitions, and add a linking phrase to explain why coins interested you. Keep answers concise (2–3 sentences) and use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'historical value', 'time capsule').

예시: Yes. As a child I collected coins from different years and countries because I liked imagining the stories behind them. To me each coin felt like a small time capsule with historical value.

제안: Be concise and avoid repetition. State directly that the hobby has continued since childhood, give a brief development (e.g., started with local coins, now includes international ones), and use past and present tenses correctly. Use linking words like 'initially' and 'now'.

예시: Yes, I have collected coins since childhood. Initially I collected Chinese yuan from different years, but now I also collect coins from other countries, so my collection has become more diverse.

제안: Clarify and streamline: begin with a direct statement, mention frequency, how you choose films, and the reason why you enjoy it together. Remove hesitations and unnecessary repetition, and use appropriate linking words like 'so' or 'because'.

예시: Yes. My family and I watch movies together every weekend — we search online for interesting films and usually spend about two hours watching. It’s a relaxing and enjoyable time for all of us.

× I uh, I like, uh, go dragon, uh, at night.

✓ I like going jogging at night.

The verb 'like' should be followed by a gerund (verb + -ing) when expressing a habitual preference. 'Go dragon' is likely a mispronunciation; context suggests 'go jogging.' Use 'going jogging' to indicate the activity you enjoy.

× Umm, every Ernst, so every.

✓ Every evening, so every night.

The phrase 'Ernst' is incorrect and likely intended to be 'evening' or 'night.' Use present simple adverbial phrase 'every evening' or 'every night' to describe a habitual action. Also avoid repeating 'every.'

× So I, I usually uh, for a long time, no exercise, I will feel uncomf, uh, I, I feel uncomfortable, so I will go jogging for one hour or two uh, to, to release myself.

✓ I usually do not exercise for a long time, and I feel uncomfortable, so I go jogging for one or two hours to relax.

Multiple issues: use of 'no exercise' is ungrammatical — use 'do not exercise' (present simple negative). 'Will' is unnecessary when describing habitual actions; use present simple 'I feel' and 'I go.' 'Uncomf' is incomplete; use 'uncomfortable.' 'For one hour or two' should be 'for one or two hours.' 'Release myself' is awkward; use 'relax' or 'relieve stress.'

× When I was a child I had a hobby of collecting coins.

✓ When I was a child, I had a hobby of collecting coins.

This sentence is mostly correct but needs a comma after the time clause 'When I was a child.' The tense (past) is appropriate to describe a childhood hobby.

× I liked to collect different coins from different ages.

✓ I liked to collect coins from different years.

Use 'years' rather than 'ages' when referring to the dates on coins. 'Different' is fine, but 'coins from different years' is clearer and more natural.

× I thought this corns had seems have different stories.

✓ I thought these coins seemed to have different stories.

'Corns' is incorrect; use 'coins.' 'These' agrees with plural 'coins.' The verb structure should be 'seemed to have' not 'had seems have.' Use past tense 'seemed' to match 'I thought.'

× It's it is like a a mark.

✓ It's like a mark.

Remove duplicated words 'it's it is like a a.' Use the contraction 'it's' or 'it is.' A single expression is sufficient.

× It's a time mark.

✓ It's a time marker.

'Time marker' is a more natural collocation in English when referring to something that indicates a time period. 'Mark' is not incorrect but 'marker' is clearer.

× I have a hobby of collecting coins.

✓ I have had a hobby of collecting coins since childhood.

To answer 'Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?' use present perfect 'have had' and include 'since childhood' to fit the question. Present simple 'I have' is acceptable but doesn't show continuity from childhood.

× The hobby, uh, started from my childhood, uh, at first I, I uh, I could uh, collect uh, coins from uh, from, uh, my, from my, uh, my country.

✓ The hobby started in my childhood. At first, I collected coins only from my country.

Use 'started in my childhood' (not 'from'). Combine into two clear sentences. 'Could collect' is unnecessary; use simple past 'collected' to describe past habit. Remove repeated fillers.

× And it's always a Chinese yuan.

✓ They were always Chinese yuan coins.

Use plural 'they' to match 'coins.' 'Always a Chinese yuan' is awkward; say 'Chinese yuan coins' and maintain plural agreement.

× But they are but they were from different years.

✓ But they were from different years.

Choose past tense 'were' to describe coins collected in the past. Remove redundant 'are' and duplicated 'but.'

× But now I can collect more more types of.

✓ But now I can collect more types of coins.

Complete the phrase by adding 'coins' after 'types of.' Remove duplicated 'more.' Use present simple 'can collect' to indicate current ability.

× Yes, there is a hobby, uh, I share with my family members is, uh, it is watching a movie, uh, every, every, uh, weekend, uh, we uh, search for the we screw, we search for the Internet and find some interesting movies.

✓ Yes, a hobby I share with my family is watching movies every weekend. We search the internet and find interesting films.

Simplify and correct 'there is a hobby I share' to 'a hobby I share.' Use plural 'movies' for repeated activity. 'Search for the Internet' is wrong; say 'search the internet.' Remove fillers and duplications.

× We all uh, like we all like and watch the.

✓ We all like and watch them.

Complete the thought with an object pronoun 'them' referring to movies. Remove duplicated phrase 'we all like.'

× If uh, two hours this time is is is very It's relaxing and enjoyable moment for my family.

✓ A two-hour movie time is very relaxing and enjoyable for my family.

Restructure the sentence: use 'a two-hour' as a compound adjective, remove repeated 'is,' and use 'for my family' at the end. 'Moment' is optional; 'time' or 'experience' fits better.