Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence naming 2–3 main hobbies, then give one brief specific detail for one hobby. Avoid informal phrases like "gonna". Use linking words to connect ideas.

예시: I have several hobbies, but my favorites are playing with my cat and reading. For example, I play with my cat every evening to relax after work, and I usually read contemporary novels on weekends to expand my vocabulary.

제안: Provide a direct topic sentence and then give specific supporting details without repetition. Use linking words (e.g., "for example", "also") and avoid repeating phrases like "when I was a child" twice.

예시: Yes, I did. I enjoyed painting as a child; for example, I often painted landscapes with watercolors. I also liked playing in the garden, where I built little forts and tended plants.

제안: Answer directly and give a concise, accurate detail. Correct the phrase "master's degree at painting" to "a master's degree in painting" and briefly explain how you practice it now.

예시: Yes, I have kept painting since childhood. In fact, I earned a master’s degree in painting, and I now paint portraits and landscapes regularly, exhibiting my work once a year.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence about similarity, then give specific contrasts or shared activities. Use a linking word like "for instance" and expand slightly with a short reason or example.

예시: Yes, we share some hobbies. For instance, my father and I both enjoy painting and often discuss techniques, while my brother and I both enjoy reading and recommend books to each other.

× My favorite hobbies are playing with my cat, reading books, and I know it's gonna sound a bit funny but also sleeping is one of my hobbies.

✓ My favorite hobbies are playing with my cat, reading books, and, I know it may sound a bit funny, sleeping.

The original mixes a full clause 'I know it's gonna sound a bit funny' into a list of gerunds, breaking parallel structure. Also 'gonna' is informal; use 'may' for spoken yet correct form. Keep list items parallel (all gerunds) and place the parenthetical remark separated by commas. Suggestion: Maintain parallel structure in lists by using the same grammatical form for each item; replace informal 'gonna' with 'may' or 'is going to' in formal contexts.

× Yes, I had a lot of hobbies when I was a child and one of them was painting and I also liked playing in the garden a lot when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a lot of hobbies when I was a child. One of them was painting, and I also liked playing in the garden a lot.

The original uses past tense correctly but runs two sentences together with repeated time phrases, causing redundancy and sentence run-on. Breaking into two sentences and removing the repeated 'when I was a child' improves clarity and flow. Suggestion: Avoid repeating time expressions and separate independent clauses with a period or coordinating conjunction plus comma.

× Yes, I do have a hobby that I had since I was a child and it's painting and right now I have a master's degree at painting.

✓ Yes, I have had a hobby since I was a child: painting, and right now I have a master's degree in painting.

The phrase 'I do have a hobby that I had since I was a child' mixes present simple with past 'had' incorrectly; use present perfect 'have had' to indicate a hobby continuing from childhood to now. Also use the preposition 'in' with 'degree' rather than 'at'. Use a colon or comma to clarify that 'painting' is the hobby. Suggestion: Use present perfect ('have had') for actions continuing from the past to the present and use the correct preposition 'degree in [subject]'.

× Yes, I think we do. For example, my father loves to paint and my brother also loves to read.

✓ Yes, I think we do. For example, my father loves to paint, and my brother also loves to read.

The original sentence is grammatically correct, but adding a comma before 'and' improves readability when joining two independent clauses. No verb form errors are present; this is a punctuation/style suggestion rather than a tense or agreement correction. Suggestion: Use a comma before coordinating conjunctions joining independent clauses for clearer sentence structure.