Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence naming your main hobbies, then give one or two specific, relevant details. Avoid hesitations and repetitions, and correct small grammar issues (e.g., "I was a complete new Rubik's Cube solver" → "I became a proficient Rubik's Cube solver"). Use linking words like "for example" or "because" to make it coherent. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: I have several hobbies, mainly reading, painting, and solving puzzles. For example, I became a proficient Rubik's Cube solver in school and spent a lot of time practising, which led to a national award. I also enjoy reading novels and painting landscapes because they help me relax.

제안: Provide a direct, well-structured response with fewer hesitations. Begin with a clear timeframe (e.g., "When I was a child") then list two or three hobbies with a brief specific detail. Reduce filler words and incomplete sentences. Use a linking phrase like "In addition" to connect points.

예시: When I was a child I loved playing outdoor games, painting, and reading storybooks. In particular, I spent afternoons playing cricket with friends and evenings drawing pictures, which helped me develop my creativity.

제안: Start with a direct topic sentence and add clear supporting details using linking words. Correct small repetitions and provide a concise habit description with frequency. Mention one reason or effect to enrich the answer.

예시: Yes, I've loved reading since childhood. I still try to read one or two books a month; although I read less now due to studies, I make a habit of reading three to four pages every night before bed because it helps me unwind.

제안: Answer directly and clearly: begin with a yes/no topic sentence and then give specific examples showing similarity. Remove filler words and correct grammar (e.g., "adopted these habits from my older sisters"). Use one linking phrase like "for example" and end with a concise reason why it's enjoyable.

예시: Yes, I share many hobbies with my older sisters. For example, they bought me storybooks and taught me to read before bed, so we often discuss the books together, which makes reading more enjoyable.

× Yes, I have. I have several hobbies.

✓ Yes, I do. I have several hobbies.

The student answered 'Yes, I have' to 'Do you have any hobbies?' Using 'do' is correct with the verb 'have' in questions about possession; 'have' alone is unclear here. Use 'Yes, I do' for a short affirmative answer and follow with the full sentence 'I have several hobbies.' Suggestion: Use 'Yes, I do' for short answers to 'Do you...' questions.

× Among them, I love to read books, I love to paint, I love to solve puzzles.

✓ Among them, I love reading books, painting, and solving puzzles.

The sentence is repetitive and uses inconsistent verb forms. Using a parallel list with gerunds (reading, painting, solving) is more natural and concise. Also replace commas and conjunctions appropriately. Suggestion: Use parallel structures for lists of activities.

× Like I'm I was a complete new Rubik's Cube solver.

✓ I was a complete novice Rubik's Cube solver.

Mixing 'I'm' and 'I was' is inconsistent. Also 'new' is awkward; 'novice' fits better. Keep past tense 'was' to refer to a previous state. Ensure subject and tense agree. Suggestion: Choose the correct tense and appropriate noun ('novice') for clarity.

× And I really love that in my school life, I think I spend more time solving Rubik's Cube than studying.

✓ And I really loved that in my school days; I think I spent more time solving Rubik's Cubes than studying.

The speaker refers to past school life, so past tense ('loved', 'spent') is required. 'Rubik's Cube' as an object in plural when referring to multiple instances should be 'Rubik's Cubes'. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense when talking about past experiences and pluralize countable nouns.

× And my mom used to scold me a lot.

✓ My mom used to scold me a lot.

Remove the leading 'And' for a cleaner sentence start; otherwise sentence is grammatically acceptable. It correctly uses 'used to' for habitual past actions. Suggestion: Avoid unnecessary conjunctions at the start of short sentences for clarity.

× But yeah, it paid off when I got some national award.

✓ But yeah, it paid off when I received a national award.

'Got' is informal; 'received' is more appropriate in this context. Also use the indefinite article 'a' before 'national award.' Suggestion: Use 'received' for formal narration and include the correct article.

× Child, uh, as in how old like in, uh, high school or in even when I was, uh, too, uh, little, I used to love, uh, playing games outside and, uh, painting and then reading books.

✓ Do you mean as a child, like in high school or when I was very young? I used to enjoy playing games outside, painting, and reading books.

The original is disfluent and unclear. Rephrase to clarify the question interpretation and use a clean past habitual construction 'used to enjoy' with a parallel list of gerunds. Remove filler words and redundant phrases. Suggestion: Remove fillers and structure the sentence into a clear question/answer, using parallel gerunds.

× Yeah from very.

✓ Yes, from a very young age.

The fragment 'Yeah from very' is incomplete and unclear. Provide a complete prepositional phrase 'from a very young age' to show when the habit started. Suggestion: Use complete time expressions to indicate duration or starting point.

× OK, reading books, I still give myself some time to read one book, one or two books in one month, which is very less compared to my younger self.

✓ Okay, reading books: I still make time to read one or two books a month, which is much less than when I was younger.

Use 'make time' instead of 'give myself some time' for natural phrasing. 'One or two books a month' is the correct frequency expression. 'Very less' is incorrect; use 'much less than when I was younger.' Maintain past tense for comparison to younger self. Suggestion: Use natural collocations ('make time'), correct frequency expressions ('a month'), and proper comparative forms ('much less than').

× But yeah I don't have time but I still try to read at least 3-4 pages before I go to sleep.

✓ But I don't have much time; I still try to read at least three or four pages before I go to sleep.

Use 'much time' after a negative and replace numerals with words in formal speech. Use a semicolon or conjunction to connect the clauses cleanly. Suggestion: Use 'much' with negatives and write small numbers in words in spoken sentences for formality.

× Yes, most of the hobbies are similar to my elder sisters.

✓ Yes, most of my hobbies are similar to my elder sisters' hobbies.

The original lacks a possessive form after 'sisters.' Either say 'similar to my elder sisters' or 'similar to my elder sisters' hobbies.' To be explicit, include 'hobbies' and possessive form. Suggestion: Use possessive form ('sisters' hobbies') to show ownership.

× I have adopted this umm, trends or this trades from my sisters.

✓ I have adopted these trends from my sisters.

Use plural demonstrative 'these' with plural 'trends.' 'Trades' is incorrect in this context. Remove filler 'umm.' Suggestion: Use correct demonstratives and vocabulary; 'trends' fits hobbies or behaviors.

× They were the 1 used to buy me books, story books and I have learned to, uh, read, uh, before bed from them.

✓ They were the ones who used to buy me story books, and I learned to read before bed because of them.

Replace 'the 1' with 'the ones who.' Use past tense 'learned' to match 'used to buy.' Remove filler words. Combine clauses with 'and' for clarity. Suggestion: Use correct relative phrasing ('the ones who') and maintain consistent past tense.

× And yeah, it's fun because we can we get to discuss about the, uh, stories and the recent uh.

✓ It's fun because we get to discuss the stories and recent events.

Remove duplicate 'we' and the preposition 'about' after 'discuss' (discuss is transitive and does not need 'about'). Replace vague 'recent uh' with 'recent events' or 'recent books.' Suggestion: Use 'discuss' without 'about' and avoid filler; specify the noun (events, books) to complete the idea.