Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct small errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "dance class" → "dance classes", "major hip hop" → "major in hip hop", "heel" and "Hill" likely meant "heels" or "hip-hop" clarification). Avoid repetition like "I have a hobby" plus "My hobby is..."

예시: I enjoy dancing, and I've been taking dance classes for two years. Specifically, I study hip hop, jazz and heels, but I focus on girls' hip hop because I like its energy; however, I'm less confident in heels so I practice them more.

제안: Improve fluency by removing filler words and combining related ideas with linking words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then list specific hobbies and give one short detail about frequency or feelings. Correct phrasing: "I had" → "Yes, I did" or "Yes, I had several hobbies."

예시: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child. While living in the United States I learned soccer, gymnastics and figure skating, and I used to practice sports after school every day, which I really enjoyed.

제안: Use a natural topic sentence and streamline phrasing. Replace "it's to run" with "I've been running". Provide one linking detail about past and present to show continuity. Fix awkward phrase "running leader" (perhaps "race leader/team captain").

예시: Yes, I've been running since elementary school. I was one of the fastest in my class and often picked to lead races, and I still run regularly now.

제안: Clarify awkward phrases and be concise. Use a clear topic sentence, then give a specific example with correct phrasing. Replace "Mountain High mountain" with "a notable mountain" or the actual name, and avoid unrealistic absolute statements like "always" or "for six hours" without context—give typical duration or frequency.

예시: Yes, my family and I enjoy mountain climbing. Whenever we visit a region in Japan with a notable mountain, we usually hike together for around six hours.

× I have been taking dance class for two years.

✓ I have been taking dance classes for two years.

Use the -ing/gerund form for countable nouns when referring to repeated sessions: 'dance class' should be plural 'dance classes' because it refers to multiple class sessions over two years. Also plural matches common collocation. Suggestion: say 'taking dance classes' when you mean attending lessons regularly.

× I take hip hop, jazz and heel classes.

✓ I take hip-hop, jazz and heels classes.

Use correct forms and hyphenation for compound nouns: 'hip hop' is commonly written 'hip-hop' as a compound adjective/noun; 'heel classes' likely intended 'heels classes' (classes focused on dancing in heels). If you meant 'heel' as singular instrument, pluralize to 'heels classes'. Suggestion: use established forms 'hip-hop' and pluralize 'heels classes' if appropriate.

× But I major hip hop, specifically girls hip hop.

✓ But I major in hip-hop, specifically girls' hip-hop.

The verb 'major' requires the preposition 'in' when naming a field of study. Also possessive form 'girls' hip-hop' is needed to show the style for girls. Hyphenate 'hip-hop'. Suggestion: use 'major in' and add the apostrophe for 'girls'' to show the style belongs to girls.

× So I'm not really good at Hill.

✓ So I'm not really good at heels.

'Hill' is likely a mistaken word; context suggests 'heels' (dancing in high heels). Use the noun that matches earlier 'heels classes'. If the student meant a different skill, choose the correct noun. Suggestion: use consistent vocabulary — 'heels' rather than 'Hill'.

× Yes, I had when I was a child, I lived in the United States and at that time I learned soccer, gymnastics and figure skating.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I lived in the United States, and at that time I learned soccer, gymnastics and figure skating.

The original sentence has an unnecessary 'I had' and awkward clause order. Remove the extraneous verb and rearrange clauses for grammatical structure and flow. Suggestion: start with 'When I was a child' and then give related details.

× So I had a lot of hobbies.

✓ So I had a lot of hobbies.

This sentence is correct in past tense because speaker refers to childhood. No correction needed; included to show tense is appropriate. Suggestion: none.

× I, I did a lot of sports activity after school every single day and it was so fun.

✓ I did a lot of sports activities after school every single day, and it was so fun.

Remove hesitation repetition 'I, I', pluralize 'activity' to 'activities' because multiple types of sports are mentioned, and add a comma before 'and' for clarity. Suggestion: say 'sports activities' and avoid repeated words.

× Yes, it's to run.

✓ Yes, it is running.

When answering 'Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?' use a noun/gerund to name the hobby: 'running' rather than the infinitive phrase 'to run'. 'It is running' or simply 'Running' is more natural. Suggestion: reply 'Yes, running' or 'Yes, it is running.'

× Since I was an elementary school student, I was one of the fastest students in my class and I was always chosen as a running leader and now as well.

✓ Since I was an elementary school student, I was one of the fastest students in my class, and I was always chosen as the running leader, and I still am now.

Add definite article 'the' before 'running leader' to specify the role, and rephrase 'and now as well' to 'and I still am now' for clarity. Use commas to separate clauses. Suggestion: use 'the running leader' and a clearer present reference 'I still am'.

× Yes, my family loves climbing mountains.

✓ Yes, my family loves climbing mountains.

Sentence is correct; family habit expressed with 'loves climbing mountains' is natural. No correction needed. Suggestion: none.

× When we go somewhere in Japan and if there is a Mountain High mountain there, we always climb it for six hours.

✓ When we go somewhere in Japan and there is a high mountain there, we always climb it for six hours.

'Mountain High mountain' is incorrect word order and likely confused term. Use 'a high mountain' to describe tall mountains. Remove redundant 'if' after 'and' for smoother phrasing. Suggestion: say 'a high mountain' or 'a tall mountain' rather than 'Mountain High mountain'.