Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition; start with a clear topic sentence, give one or two specific reasons with linking words, and finish with a brief concluding comment. Also correct minor collocations (say “aesthetic places” awkward — use “scenic places” or “beautiful places”). Aim for 2–4 sentences, varied vocabulary, and smoother linking (for example: “because,” “so,” “also”).

예시: My favorite hobby is travelling. I enjoy it because it gives me a break from daily routines and lets me discover scenic places and different cultures. For example, last year I visited Kyoto and loved the temples and local food, which made the trip memorable.

제안: Good content and variety of examples, but reduce redundancy and improve sentence structure. Begin with a clear topic sentence, use linking words (for example, “for instance” or “such as”) when listing activities, and avoid informal idioms that may sound imprecise. Keep to 3–4 sentences and vary verb tenses appropriately.

예시: Yes, I had many hobbies as a child. For instance, I tried photography, horse riding, playing the guitar and skateboarding, because I liked experimenting with different activities. Trying all these helped me discover what I enjoyed most.

제안: Clear and personal answer, but improve natural phrasing and tighten repetition. Start with a direct topic sentence (“Yes — I’ve loved dressing up since childhood”), use linking words like “because” to explain reasons, and replace vague phrases (“a little more out there”) with clearer descriptions. Keep to 3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I have enjoyed dressing up since childhood. I spend time choosing outfits and styling myself because it boosts my confidence and helps me express my personality. As a result, I often feel more distinctive and comfortable in social situations.

제안: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence and use linking phrases to compare. Avoid repetition and grammar mistakes (e.g., “she loves drawing” not “making drawings”; “I share my parents’ hobbies” sounds natural). Give one brief specific example linking you to each parent and keep it to 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I share several hobbies with my parents. For example, my mother is artistic and taught me to draw and cook, so I enjoy both activities. From my father I inherited a passion for travelling and an interest in collecting perfumes, which I often buy when I visit new places.

× Yeah, actually, I have many hobbies, but I'd say my favorite one right now is travelling.

✓ Yeah, actually, I have many hobbies, but I'd say my favorite one right now is traveling.

Spelling variant: 'travelling' is British English; in American English the preferred spelling is 'traveling'. Choose one spelling convention and use it consistently. Change to 'traveling' if using American English.

× Actually, yeah, I had lot of hobbies when I was a child.

✓ Actually, yeah, I had a lot of hobbies when I was a child.

Singular and plural issue: the phrase 'a lot' requires the article 'a' before 'lot'. Without 'a' it is ungrammatical. Add 'a' to form the correct quantifier 'a lot of'.

× I was like a Jack of all trades and a master of none.

✓ I was like a jack of all trades and a master of none.

Past tense issue: The verb tense 'was' is correct for past reference, but 'Jack' does not need capitalization. This is a capitalization/style correction rather than tense; keep past tense 'was' and use lowercase 'jack' as the idiom is commonly not capitalized.

× I loved everything and I've tried almost everything.

✓ I loved everything and I tried almost everything.

Verb in the past participle form: The student mixes past simple 'loved' with present perfect 'I've tried'. For a past time reference ('when I was a child') use past simple 'I tried' to keep tense consistent.

× I've done photography, I've done horse riding, I've learned to play guitar and I've learned skateboarding.

✓ I did photography, I did horse riding, I learned to play the guitar and I learned to skateboard.

Present tense issue: Again the student mixes present perfect with past timeframe. For activities in childhood use simple past: 'did' and 'learned'. Also adjust collocations: 'play the guitar' and 'learned to skateboard' are more natural.

× I don't know if it's a hobby, but I love dressing up.

✓ I don't know if it's a hobby, but I love dressing up.

Present tense issue: This sentence is correct in present tense and needs no grammatical change. Keep present simple 'love' to express current preference.

× I loved dressing up when I was a child and I still do it right now.

✓ I loved dressing up when I was a child and I still do it now.

Present tense issue: 'still do it right now' is wordy and redundant. Use 'now' or 'still' with present simple: 'I still do it now' or simply 'I still do'. Also keep 'loved' in past to refer to childhood.

× I personally give so much time in dressing up and making sure I look good.

✓ I personally spend a lot of time dressing up and making sure I look good.

Incorrect use of prepositions: The verb 'give time' is usually followed by 'to' or more naturally replaced by 'spend time' with no preposition before the gerund. Use 'spend a lot of time' + gerund.

× It always makes me feel a little more confident, a little more out there, and a little more unique.

✓ It always makes me feel a little more confident, a bit more outgoing, and a bit more unique.

Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs: 'out there' is colloquial and vague; 'outgoing' is a clearer adjective for social confidence. Also vary phrasing ('a little' -> 'a bit') for style; original is acceptable but suggestion improves clarity.

× Actually, yeah, all my hobbies are either from my father or my mother.

✓ Actually, yeah, all my hobbies come either from my father or my mother.

Incorrect use of prepositions: 'are from' is awkward for origins of hobbies. Use 'come from' or 'are inherited from' to indicate source.

× My mother loves to cook, she loves making drawings and love her artistic side.

✓ My mother loves to cook; she loves making drawings and loves her artistic side.

Incorrect use of prepositions/pronouns/verb agreement: Parallel structure requires consistent verbs: 'she loves' ... 'and loves'. The phrase 'love her artistic side' should be 'loves her artistic side'. Also use proper punctuation or conjunctions.

× From my father's side, I love traveling, I love buying new perfume.

✓ From my father's side, I loved traveling and I loved buying new perfume.

Present tense issue: The student is speaking about childhood influences. To describe past preferences inherited from family, use past simple 'loved' for consistency. If referring to current preferences, keep present 'love' but clarify timeframe.

× And yeah, same as his hobby is I love perfumes and all.

✓ And yeah, similarly to his hobby, I love perfumes and so on.

Incorrect use of pronouns: 'same as his hobby is' is an incorrect word order and pronoun reference. Use 'similarly to his hobby' or 'like his hobby' to compare. 'And all' is colloquial; 'and so on' is clearer.