Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, use linking words and give one specific example. Correct verbs and word forms (e.g., "in my free time" → "in my free time I usually exercise").

예시: In my free time I usually exercise, especially yoga and dancing, because they help me relax and recharge. For example, I do a 45-minute yoga session three times a week, which improves my focus and energy for work afterwards.

제안: Remove fillers and correct sentence structure. Give one clear topic sentence, then a specific detail about frequency or a memory, using linking words (e.g., "after classes"). Replace vague phrasing like "more closer and closer" with "become closer".

예시: Yes. When I was a child I loved playing basketball. After classes my classmates and I would stay at school to practice together, which helped us become closer and build teamwork.

제안: Avoid repetition and use correct tense. Start with a clear statement that you still do this hobby, then give a specific example of performances or events and use linking words like "and" or "so" for coherence.

예시: Yes. I have danced since childhood and I still perform sometimes. For example, I used to take part in school talent shows with my friends, and now I join a local dance group for community events.

제안: Be concise and use correct vocabulary ("creative activities" instead of "creature activities"). Give a clear comparison using linking words like "however" or "on the other hand" and a specific example of a family member's hobby.

예시: Not really. My family prefers quieter, creative activities like reading and painting, whereas I enjoy outdoor sports. For instance, my sister often reads novels in the evening while I go out to play basketball on weekends.

× Yes, I'm in my free time.

✓ Yes, in my free time I...

Original sentence lacks a main verb and has incorrect word order. Rearranging to 'In my free time I...' provides a subject and allows the speaker to add an activity. Suggestion: include an action verb after this phrase (e.g., 'In my free time I usually exercise').

× I usually go to do some exercise and such as yoga or dance.

✓ I usually do some exercise, such as yoga or dance.

Incorrect combination 'go to do' and misplaced 'such as'. Use 'do' with 'exercise' or 'go to' with a place. Also place 'such as' before examples. Suggestion: choose either 'I usually do some exercise' or 'I usually go to the gym to exercise'. Use 'such as' directly before examples.

× I think exercise can help me relaxing, relax and recharge.

✓ I think exercise can help me relax and recharge.

Mixes gerund 'relaxing' and base verb 'relax'. After 'help' use the base form 'relax' (help + verb) or 'help me to relax'. Remove redundant forms. Suggestion: use 'help me relax and recharge' or 'help me to relax and recharge'.

× After I finish my exercise, I can more concentrate on my tasks.

✓ After I finish my exercise, I can concentrate more on my tasks.

Adverb placement is wrong; 'more' should follow the verb or be 'concentrate more' not 'more concentrate'. Also 'can' is acceptable but sounds better without modal: 'I can concentrate more' or 'I concentrate more'. Suggestion: place adverbs after the verb.

× Uh, yes, when I was a child, I really enjoyed playing basketball.

✓ Uh, yes, when I was a child, I really enjoyed playing basketball.

This sentence is correct in tense and structure; past tense 'enjoyed' matches 'when I was a child'. No change needed.

× Umm, after classes, uh, my, I and my classmates usually stay at school and playing basketball together.

✓ Umm, after classes, my classmates and I usually stayed at school and played basketball together.

Mixed tenses and incorrect verb forms. Because referring to past ('when I was a child'), use past tense 'stayed' and 'played' not present participle 'playing'. Also correct subject order to 'my classmates and I'. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense and proper subject order.

× I think, uh, it can help us more closer and closer.

✓ I think it helped us become closer.

'More closer' is redundant and ungrammatical; 'closer' already expresses comparative. Also change tense to past to match context. Use 'become closer' or 'bring us closer'. Suggestion: avoid double comparatives like 'more closer'.

× Uh, yes, I really enjoyed dancing when I was a child, umm, when I was a child, I usually do some performance, did some performance and uh umm, danced with my friends umm, until now I still join some.

✓ Uh, yes, I really enjoyed dancing when I was a child. I used to do performances and dance with my friends, and I still take part in some now.

Mixed tenses and repetitions. Use past habit 'used to' or past tense 'did' for childhood activities. For current participation use present tense 'I still take part'. 'Do some performance' is incorrect; use 'do performances' or 'perform'. Suggestion: separate sentences, use 'used to' for past habits and present simple for current activities.

× Actually not umm, except me, my family, umm, enjoying creature activities such as reading umm.

✓ Actually not. Except for me, my family enjoys quieter activities such as reading.

Problems: missing preposition 'for' in 'except for me', wrong verb form 'enjoying' instead of 'enjoys', and 'creature' is incorrect word choice; likely 'quieter'. Subject-verb agreement: 'my family enjoys'. Suggestion: use 'Except for me' and correct verb agreement and word choice.

× In contrast, I prefer to uh, outside activities, umm, such as playing basketball or.

✓ In contrast, I prefer outdoor activities, such as playing basketball.

'Prefer to outside activities' is ungrammatical. Use adjective 'outdoor' to modify 'activities'. Remove trailing 'or'. Suggestion: use 'prefer outdoor activities' or 'prefer to do outdoor activities'.