Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be careful with verb tense and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add 1–2 concise supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (e.g., “uh”) and redundancy. Use correct past forms (e.g., 'I learned') and maintain natural phrasing.

예시: I enjoy reading and playing the guitar. For example, I read a wide range of genres—from romance and thrillers to science fiction—and recently I have been reading Russian classics, which are challenging but rewarding. Also, I have been playing the guitar since middle school and it helps me relax after studying.

제안: Provide a direct topic sentence and clearer, grammatically correct supporting details. Use linking words (e.g., 'for example', 'however') and avoid vague phrases. Correct small errors ('all kinds', 'I never used them') and give a brief reflection with a reason.

예시: Yes. As a child, I enjoyed collecting stickers. For example, I collected Barbie and cartoon stickers, but I never used them; I just kept them in a box. Looking back, I wish I had shared them with friends because that would have created more memories.

제안: Give a clearer topic sentence and correct sentence forms. Use linking words to connect ideas and be specific about what you do now with the hobby. Fix grammar issues (e.g., 'I have had it', 'I adored it', 'I took pictures of my grandparents').

예시: Yes, I have had a hobby of photography since childhood. My dad gave me a digital camera when I was young, and I loved taking photos of my grandparents and family events. I still practice photography today, mostly taking portraits and street photos with my smartphone and editing them on my laptop.

제안: Organize your response: start with a topic sentence about similarity/difference, then give specific contrasts using linking words. Avoid unclear or incorrect phrases ('my loves', 'meeting rich'). Use precise vocabulary and correct grammar.

예시: We share some interests, but not all. For instance, my father and I both enjoy reading, but he prefers self-help books while I prefer fiction and romance. My mother enjoys socializing with wealthy people, which I don't really like, so our hobbies differ in that area.

× Read a lot of genres starting from romance, thrillers, science fiction, or recently I've started reading Russian classics which is really hard to get into but I love it.

✓ I have read a lot of genres, from romance and thrillers to science fiction; recently I've started reading Russian classics, which are really hard to get into but I love them.

The original sentence mixes tenses and uses 'Read' (base form) at the start where the present perfect 'have read' is appropriate to show experience up to now. Also 'which is' refers to 'classics' (plural), so it should be 'which are.' Use plural pronoun 'them' to refer to 'classics.' The corrected sentence uses proper present perfect for life experience, correct plural agreement, and clearer list punctuation.

× I learn it when I was middle school.

✓ I learned it when I was in middle school.

The original uses present tense 'learn' with a past time expression 'when I was middle school.' The action happened in the past so use past tense 'learned.' Also include the preposition 'in' before 'middle school' for correct form.

× When I was a child I really liked collecting stickers of all the kind it.

✓ When I was a child I really liked collecting stickers of all kinds.

The phrase 'of all the kind it' is ungrammatical. Use the quantifier 'of all kinds' to indicate a variety. Remove the extraneous 'it.'

× I mostly collected the Barbie stickers or several cartoon stickers.

✓ I mostly collected Barbie stickers and various cartoon stickers.

The original uses 'the Barbie stickers' unnecessarily and 'or several cartoon stickers' is awkward. Use plural count nouns without 'the' for general collections ('Barbie stickers') and 'various' to indicate several types. Also 'and' is more natural when listing items collected together.

× But it feels a bit sad for me because that time I just collected the stickers.

✓ But it feels a bit sad to me because at that time I just collected stickers.

Word order and expressions are awkward. Use 'it feels a bit sad to me' and 'at that time' for the past time reference. Drop 'the' before 'stickers' when speaking generally.

× I never used it anywhere, just kept it and now I feel like I should have.

✓ I never used them anywhere, I just kept them, and now I feel like I should have used them.

Pronoun agreement: 'stickers' is plural, so use 'them' not 'it.' The final clause 'I feel like I should have' is incomplete; include the verb 'used them' to clarify what you should have done. Also separate clauses with commas for clarity.

× Yes I had it.

✓ Yes, I have had it since childhood.

The question asks about a hobby you've had since childhood; use present perfect 'have had' to indicate a situation that started in the past and continues to the present. Add 'since childhood' for clarity. Also add a comma after 'Yes.'

× When I was a kid my dad got me a digital camera which I adored it so much, clicked pictures from for my grandparents and everything.

✓ When I was a kid my dad got me a digital camera, which I adored; I clicked pictures for my grandparents and everything.

Relative clause 'which I adored it so much' incorrectly repeats the subject pronoun 'it'; drop 'it' after 'which.' The phrase 'clicked pictures from for my grandparents' is incorrect—use 'clicked pictures for my grandparents.' Insert commas or a semicolon to separate clauses and make the sentence clear.

× But I still keep doing it.

✓ But I still keep doing it.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable as present simple progressive idiomatically; no change needed. (Included for completeness because it follows the allowed types.)

× My dad loves reading books.

✓ My dad loves reading books.

This sentence is correct and matches the present habitual tense; no change needed.

× I also like reading books but I feel the genre is quite different.

✓ I also like reading books, but I feel our preferred genres are quite different.

'The genre is quite different' is vague and mismatches subjects; clarify that the difference is between 'our preferred genres.' Add a comma before 'but.'

× He loves reading self help books. I like reading fictional stuff or romance.

✓ He loves reading self-help books. I prefer fiction or romance novels.

Use hyphen in 'self-help' and prefer nouns 'fiction' and 'romance novels' rather than informal 'fictional stuff or romance.' 'Prefer' is more natural than 'like' when comparing tastes.

× Self help is not my thing and my loves.

✓ Self-help is not my thing and I don't love it.

Original contains 'my loves' which is incorrect. Use 'I don't love it' to express dislike. Maintain 'self-help' hyphenation.

× My mom loves meeting rich and I don't really like it.

✓ My mom enjoys meeting rich people, and I don't really like it.

'Meeting rich' is incomplete; include 'people.' Add a comma before 'and.' 'Enjoys' fits stylistically; 'meeting rich people' clarifies meaning.