Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make your answer more concise and correct small grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., 'tend to' used too often) and correct preposition use ('share my produce with').

예시: I enjoy gardening, especially early in the morning when it is quiet. If the weather is bad, I usually garden in the afternoon or evening. I often share my vegetables with my neighbor, which gives me a sense of achievement and calm.

제안: Provide a clear timeline and reduce repetition. Use correct tense consistently and combine ideas with linking words. Be specific about the award to add credibility.

예시: Yes, I have enjoyed gardening since childhood. In high school I volunteered to care for the school garden and worked there with my classmates, which helped me learn teamwork. I even received an award for my contributions to the garden.

제안: Avoid fragment sentences and unnecessary repetition. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details and use linking words like 'because' or 'and'. Correct verb forms ('taught me how to garden').

예시: Yes, gardening is a hobby I've had since childhood because my grandparents taught me. My grandfather showed me how to care for plants and my grandmother taught me how to grow fruits and vegetables, so I learned both practical skills and patience.

제안: Be more concise and use clearer connectors. Correct verb forms and phrasing ('I don't share my hobby with my family' and 'I join them when they go to the mall'). Give a brief reason or example to support your statement.

예시: No, I don't share gardening as a hobby with my family; they prefer sports and watching TV. However, I join them sometimes—for example, I go shopping at the mall with them on weekends to spend time together.

× Yes, I do enjoy gardening.

✓ Yes, I enjoy gardening.

The use of 'do' is unnecessary for a normal affirmative statement in present simple. Remove 'do' to use the correct present simple form 'I enjoy gardening.' Suggestion: Use 'do' for emphasis only (e.g., 'I do enjoy gardening' for contrast).

× I tend to do gardening early in the morning.

✓ I tend to garden early in the morning.

After 'tend to' the base form of the verb should be used, not 'do' + gerund. Use 'tend to garden' or 'do gardening' but not both together. Suggestion: Use 'I tend to garden...' or 'I do gardening...'.

× However, when the weather is unforgiving, I tend to move it in the afternoon if not in the evening.

✓ However, when the weather is bad, I tend to move it to the afternoon or even the evening.

Unforgiving is uncommon to describe weather in this context; 'bad' or 'poor' is more natural. 'Move it in the afternoon' should use 'to the afternoon' to indicate shifting an activity. 'If not in the evening' is awkward; use 'or even the evening.' Suggestion: Use natural weather adjectives and correct preposition 'to'.

× I share my produce to with my neighbor and it provides a sense of achievement and a sense of calm.

✓ I share my produce with my neighbor, and it gives me a sense of achievement and calm.

The preposition 'to' is incorrect here; use 'with' for sharing. Also 'provides a sense of achievement and a sense of calm' is wordy; 'gives me a sense of achievement and calm' is more natural and adds the pronoun 'me.' Suggestion: Use 'share ... with' and include the beneficiary pronoun when necessary.

× I've always enjoyed gardening ever since when I was a child.

✓ I've enjoyed gardening ever since I was a child.

Combining 'ever since' with 'when' is redundant. 'Ever since I was a child' is the correct time clause with present perfect. Also 'I've always enjoyed' is acceptable, but 'I've enjoyed' is more concise. Suggestion: Use one time marker: 'ever since I was a child.'

× I was a volunteer gardener in my high school and I tend to the garden of the school and I also enjoyed it with my friends and my classmates.

✓ I was a volunteer gardener at my high school; I tended the school garden and enjoyed it with my friends and classmates.

Tense inconsistency: the student starts past ('was') and then uses present 'tend.' Change 'tend' to past 'tended' to match. 'In my high school' should be 'at my high school.' 'My friends and my classmates' is redundant; 'friends and classmates' suffices. Suggestion: Keep past tense throughout when speaking about past activities and use 'at' for institutions.

× I I had an award because of it.

✓ I received an award because of it.

Double 'I' is a typo. 'Had an award' is awkward; use 'received an award' or 'won an award' in past tense. 'Because of it' is acceptable but 'for it' can also work. Suggestion: Use 'received' or 'won' to describe obtaining an award.

× As previously mentioned, I had a hobby which is gardening.

✓ As previously mentioned, my hobby is gardening.

Mixing past 'had' with present 'is' creates an awkward structure. If the hobby continues, use present 'my hobby is gardening.' If referring to past only, keep past consistently. Suggestion: Use consistent tense and a simpler structure: 'my hobby is gardening.'

× For a very long time.

✓ I have had it for a very long time.

This fragment lacks a verb and subject; it's a sentence without a verb. Complete the idea by connecting it to the previous sentence: 'I have had it for a very long time.' Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments; ensure each sentence has a subject and verb.

× I had it when I was a kid.

✓ I have had it since I was a kid.

If the hobby continues to the present, use present perfect 'have had' and 'since' for a starting point. If speaking purely of past, the original is acceptable, but context implies continuity. Suggestion: Use present perfect and 'since' to show continuation from childhood to now.

× I enjoyed it with my grandfather who taught me how to gardening and also my grandmother taught me how to garden and produce fruits and vegetables.

✓ I enjoyed it with my grandfather, who taught me how to garden, and my grandmother, who taught me how to grow fruits and vegetables.

After 'how to' use the base verb 'garden,' not the gerund 'gardening.' Also split into clearer clauses and use 'grow' for producing fruits and vegetables. Suggestion: Use 'how to' + base verb and separate clauses with commas for clarity.

× I do not share my hobby with my family members.

✓ I do not share my hobby with my family members.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It is included to confirm correctness. Suggestion: None.

× They tend to enjoy their own hobbies like sports and watching TV.

✓ They tend to enjoy their own hobbies, like playing sports and watching TV.

'Sports' alone is fine, but parallel structure prefers 'playing sports' to match 'watching TV.' Use a comma before 'like' for clarity. Suggestion: Keep parallel gerund forms for listed activities.

× However, I also enjoy their hobbies with them and I tend to come with them whenever they will go to the mall and shop.

✓ However, I also enjoy their hobbies with them, and I tend to go with them whenever they go to the mall to shop.

'Come with them' is OK but 'go with them' matches 'they go to the mall.' Use simple present 'they go' for habitual actions, not 'they will go.' Use 'go to the mall to shop' for purpose. Suggestion: Use simple present for habitual actions and maintain parallel structure.