Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答をもっと自然で簡潔にし、明確なトピック文と支持情報を含めてください。例えば冒頭で趣味をはっきり述べ（I enjoy yoga and dancing.）、続けて具体的な情報（いつ始めたか、なぜ好きか）を1〜2文で説明し、曖昧な言葉や繰り返しを避けましょう。また、つなぎの語（because, and, so）を使って文を論理的に繋いでください。発音や流暢さの改善のために短く明確な文を練習すると良いです。

예시: I enjoy both yoga and dancing. I have been dancing since I was four, and it remains my main hobby because I love performing. Lately I do yoga to relax and improve my flexibility, which helps me feel calmer before a performance.

제안: 質問に直接答え、具体的な例を整理して述べてください。文法や語順の誤り（例えば“sometime”→“sometimes”や不自然な表現“a lot of focus”）を直し、支持文ではいつ、どのくらい、どんな活動かを明確に説明しましょう。接続詞（for example, also, so）を使って流れを良くしてください。

예시: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child, such as dancing, swinging on the playground, and sometimes playing basketball. I practiced dancing most often and continued it because I enjoyed performing and staying active.

제안: 最初にシンプルな主文で答え、その後で理由や具体例を一貫して述べてください。現在形や過去形の混同（“will really motivated”）を直し、自然な表現（become motivated, express myself with my body）を使いましょう。文は2〜3文に抑え、流暢さを意識してつなぎ語（when, because, so）を使ってください。

예시: Yes, dancing is a hobby I've had since childhood. I love performing for audiences because it makes me feel motivated and excited, and I can express my emotions through my movements.

제안: 問いにはっきり答え（Yes/No）を述べ、理由と具体例を続けてください。文法の一致（my father likes）や不要な前置き（Let me think about the well）を避け、対比を表す接続語（however, but）を上手く使うと良いです。家族の趣味の具体例を短く添えると説得力が増します。

예시: No, my family and I don't share the same hobbies. For example, my father prefers staying at home and playing video games or watching anime, while I enjoy outdoor activities and staying active.

× Yes, in my return, I like doing yoga or dancing.

✓ Yes, in my free time, I like doing yoga or dancing.

The phrase 'in my return' is not correct English; 'in my free time' is the appropriate prepositional phrase to indicate leisure time. Use the preposition 'in' with 'free time' and avoid literal translations. Suggestion: memorize common collocations for talking about leisure (e.g., in my free time, during weekends).

× Since I was four years old, I plug, I've practiced dancing and recently yoga is more, uh, effective to relax.

✓ Since I was four years old, I've practiced dancing, and recently yoga has been more effective for relaxing.

Multiple issues: unnecessary word 'plug' should be removed. The present perfect 'I've practiced' is fine with 'since'. Use present perfect continuous or perfect with 'since'. 'Yoga is more effective to relax' is incorrect; use 'has been more effective for relaxing' or 'for relaxing me'. Suggestion: remove filler words, use 'has been' for recent ongoing change and 'for relaxing' as prepositional phrase.

× Yes, I had a lot of focus when I was a child, like dance, swing or sometime basketball, but I still proactive thing.

✓ Yes, I had a lot of interests when I was a child, like dancing, swing, or sometimes basketball, but I was still proactive.

'Focus' is countable/unclear here — 'interests' fits better. Use gerunds for activities (dancing). 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. 'I still proactive thing' is ungrammatical; needs verb 'was' and adjective 'proactive'. Suggestion: use 'I was still proactive' or 'I was still active'.

× Yeah, I keep practicing dance because that is my most favorite.

✓ Yeah, I keep practicing dance because it is my favorite.

'Most favorite' is incorrect; 'favorite' already expresses the superlative. Use 'my favorite' or 'my most favorite' is redundant and nonstandard. Also 'that' can be replaced by 'it' for clarity.

× Yes, let's dance.

✓ Yes, dancing.

Response to 'Do you have a hobby that you've had since childhood?' should be a statement about the hobby. 'Yes, let's dance' is an invitation, not an answer. Use 'Yes, dancing' or 'Yes, I have been dancing since childhood.' Suggestion: respond with the activity and timeframe.

× I really like to perform in front of many audiences.

✓ I really like to perform in front of large audiences.

'Many audiences' is awkward; 'many audience members' or 'large audiences' is natural. Use 'large audiences' to indicate many people. Suggestion: choose correct noun collocations like 'audiences' with 'large'.

× When I do that, I often will really motivated and excited to express my feelings and through my bodies.

✓ When I do that, I often feel really motivated and excited to express my feelings through my body.

Missing verb 'feel' required for sentence structure. 'Will' is unnecessary; present tense fits habitual action. 'Through my bodies' is incorrect; use singular 'body'. Suggestion: use 'feel' + adjective and correct noun to singular.

× Let me think about the well, I think there's no common hobbies in my family because my father like to stay home and play game or watch anime, but I really like to stay active outside.

✓ Let me think... Well, I don't think there are any common hobbies in my family because my father likes to stay home and play games or watch anime, but I prefer to stay active outside.

Several issues: 'about the well' is wrong — use filler 'Well'. 'There's no common hobbies' should be 'there are no common hobbies' (number agreement). 'My father like' needs third person singular 'likes'. 'Play game' should be plural 'play games'. 'I really like to stay active outside' is okay but 'prefer' is more natural contrast. Suggestion: fix subject-verb agreement, plurality, and common filler use.