Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your main hobbies, then give one or two specific supporting details (when, where, why). Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like “virtual time” or mixed tenses. Use linking words (and, also, when) to connect ideas and keep answers under five sentences.

예시: I have several hobbies, but my two main ones are playing volleyball and reading. I usually play volleyball with friends twice a week at the local court because it keeps me fit and is fun. I also enjoy reading at home in the evenings, especially novels about history and culture.

제안: Use correct tense and organize your answer: state whether you had hobbies, then give clear examples and brief reasons or context. Avoid confusing phrases like “street house door.” Keep sentences short and coherent, and use linking words like “also” or “besides.”

예시: Yes, I had several hobbies as a child. I often played games and volleyball with the other children on our street, usually in the evenings. I also liked to read by myself at home, especially storybooks that sparked my imagination.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence naming the hobby you’ve kept since childhood, then explain briefly how it continued (when and with whom). Avoid unclear words (“one who pigeons”, “Hollywood”) and correct grammar (present perfect for actions continuing to present). Use linking words like “so” or “and.”

예시: Yes, I have kept playing volleyball since I was a child. I started playing with neighborhood friends in the evenings, and we still meet at the same playground to play every weekend. This hobby has helped me stay active and keep close friendships.

제안: Answer directly and give specific contrasts. Start with a clear sentence (Yes/No), then name a family member and their hobby, and compare briefly to your own. Fix pronouns and grammar, and avoid repeating phrases. Use linking words like “however” or “for example.”

예시: No, my family members usually have different hobbies. For example, my father enjoys reading and jogging while my mother loves cooking. By contrast, I prefer playing volleyball, so our interests are quite separate.

× Yes, I have a lot of hobbies. Usually I play volleyball in my free time and I usually prefer reading books in my virtual time when I was free at home.

✓ Yes, I have a lot of hobbies. Usually I play volleyball in my free time and I prefer reading books in my spare time when I am at home.

Student mixes present and past ("was") and uses awkward phrase 'virtual time'. Use simple present for habitual actions: 'play' and 'prefer'. Replace 'virtual time' with 'spare time' and use 'when I am at home' for current habitual situation.

× Yes, I have many hobbies when I was child I usually play a lot of time spends with my friends in my street hobby, street house door. Before I usually prefer to read books alone while I was at home in.

✓ Yes, I had many hobbies when I was a child. I usually spent a lot of time playing with my friends on the street near our houses. Before, I preferred to read books alone while I was at home.

The student mixes present and past (use past for childhood). Change 'have' to 'had', 'play' to 'spent... playing', and 'spends' is incorrect. Reorder and clarify 'street house door' to 'on the street near our houses'. 'Prefer' becomes past 'preferred'. Keep past tense consistent.

× Yes, I have a hobby that you've had since childhood? Student: Yes, I have a one who pigeons. I have a childhood. It was playing volleyball with my friends at evening. It is the same as my old friends are also grow up. We all play right now also Hollywood in a playground.

✓ Yes, I have had a hobby since childhood. I used to raise pigeons when I was a child. I also used to play volleyball with my friends in the evenings. My old friends have also grown up, and we still play together now in a playground.

Multiple tense and wording issues: use present perfect 'have had' for a hobby continuing from childhood, 'used to' for past habits, 'at evening' should be 'in the evenings', 'are also grow up' incorrect - use 'have grown up'. Remove 'Hollywood' which is irrelevant. Keep tenses consistent and use clear phrasing.

× No, usually old family members have their different hobbies. Because my father is an IPS officer, he have a different hobbies and my mother is an housewife, he has a different hobby. She's usually like to cook food. As my view as my understanding, I like to play volleyball. In my perspective, all have different old members have their different hobbies.

✓ No, usually family members have different hobbies. My father is an IPS officer, so he has different hobbies, and my mother is a housewife; she likes to cook. In my view, I like to play volleyball. In my perspective, all the older family members have different hobbies.

Pronoun and agreement errors: 'old family members' is unclear—use 'family members' or 'older family members'. Use correct pronouns and verb agreements: 'he have' -> 'he has', 'my mother... he' -> 'she'. 'She's usually like' -> 'she likes'. Clarify 'all have different old members have their different hobbies' to 'all the older family members have different hobbies'. Maintain subject-verb agreement.