Hobby— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence naming your favourite hobby, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases (e.g., "pressure adjusting me"). Also limit to around 2–4 sentences to sound natural and fluent.

예시: My favourite hobby is free diving. I enjoy it because being underwater helps me relax and clear my mind; for example, the quiet and the rhythm of my breathing reduce my anxiety. Because of that calming effect, I try to go free diving whenever I feel stressed.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and correct vocabulary (use "calligraphy" instead of "calligrapher"). Use linking words to show change (e.g., "At first... but later...") and be specific about what you enjoyed. Keep it concise and natural.

예시: Yes. My grandmother made me learn calligraphy when I was a child. At first I disliked it, but later I appreciated it because it taught me patience and gave me a peaceful activity where I could concentrate quietly.

제안: Answer directly and avoid cultural generalizations. Be specific about which childhood activities you continued or didn't continue. Use correct terms ("calligraphy," "dance," "running," "sprints") and one or two clear sentences with linking words to explain your situation.

예시: No, I don't have any hobby that has continued from childhood. Although my family encouraged me to learn calligraphy, dance and athletics when I was young, I stopped most of them as I grew older and developed different interests like free diving and hiking.

제안: Speak clearly and use correct expressions ("generation gap" not "gout generation"). Start with a direct statement, then contrast your hobbies with your grandmother's using linking words like "while" or "whereas." Be concise and specific.

예시: No, we don't share the same hobbies because there is a generation gap. I prefer outdoor activities like hiking and diving, whereas my grandmother enjoys social activities such as square dancing and singing at KTV with her friends.

× Yes I do, in fact I have a lot of hobbies such as swimming, free diving, hiking, tanning and travelling.

✓ Yes, I do. In fact, I have a lot of hobbies such as swimming, freediving, hiking, tanning and traveling.

Use of -ing forms for hobbies is correct, but 'free diving' is commonly written as one word 'freediving' and 'travelling' follows American English 'traveling' or British 'travelling'. Also add commas and a period for sentence clarity and correct punctuation.

× But my favorite one, maybe it's free diving because somehow I think the ocean resets my mind because there's no pressure adjusting me and the water and I think that's the only place where my anxiety can totally disappear.

✓ But my favorite is freediving, because I feel the ocean clears my mind: there is no pressure judging me, only the water, and I think it is the only place where my anxiety can completely disappear.

Problems: awkward pronoun and clause use ('my favorite one, maybe it's' -> 'my favorite is'), incorrect idiom 'pressure adjusting me' likely 'pressure judging me' or 'people judging me', and adverb placement ('totally disappear' -> 'completely disappear'). Also 'freediving' as one word. Rewrite improves clarity and corrects pronoun/reference and adverb use.

× Well, I don't know if it's counting.

✓ Well, I don't know if it counts.

'If it's counting' is incorrect collocation here; the correct phrase is 'if it counts'. Use present tense 'counts' because you are asking if something qualifies now.

× When I was a kid, my grandmother forced me to learn the calligrapher.

✓ When I was a kid, my grandmother forced me to learn calligraphy.

'Calligrapher' is a noun for a person; the activity is 'calligraphy'. The verb 'forced me to learn' is correct past tense; only the noun form needed correction.

× At first I was really reluctant and a little bit hate about this hobby, but after that I think that's really good and nice because I can totally be quiet and enjoy myself.

✓ At first I was really reluctant and hated this hobby a little, but afterwards I thought it was very good because it helped me be quiet and enjoy myself.

Problems: 'a little bit hate about' is ungrammatical; use past tense 'hated' to match 'was reluctant'. 'After that' should be 'afterwards' and tense consistency requires 'thought' and 'was'. 'Totally be quiet' -> 'be quiet' or 'completely quiet'; 'enjoy myself' is fine.

× Well, I don't think so.

✓ Well, I don't think so.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It fits the present-tense context asking about having a hobby since childhood.

× You know, as a Chinese kid, an Asian kid, your grandparents or your parents would always force you to learn a lot of hobbies when you were a child.

✓ You know, as a Chinese child or an Asian child, your grandparents or parents would often force you to learn many activities when you were young.

Use consistent terms ('child' rather than mixing 'kid'), pronoun 'your' is acceptable in general statements but clarify number ('grandparents or parents') and replace 'a lot of hobbies' with 'many activities' for natural collocation. 'When you were a child' is redundant with 'child'; use 'when you were young' or remove.

× So as I said before, when I was a child, my grandma forced me to learn the calligrapher and a lot in dancing on the running or some Sprint.

✓ So as I said before, when I was a child my grandma forced me to learn calligraphy and to take many classes in dancing and running sprints.

Again 'calligrapher' should be 'calligraphy'. 'A lot in dancing on the running or some Sprint' is ungrammatical: use 'many classes in dancing and running sprints' or 'dance and sprint training'.

× Like, yeah.

✓ Like, yes.

Fragment 'Like, yeah' is informal and vague in this context. Replace with 'yes' or remove. If kept, ensure it fits conversational tone; otherwise omit for clarity.

× No because there is a big gout generation between us or me.

✓ No, because there is a big generation gap between us.

'Gout generation' is incorrect word choice; correct idiom is 'generation gap'. Also punctuation: add comma after 'No' and use 'between us' rather than 'between us or me'.

× I would like go hiking or diving in my spare time but for my grandmother she would always go square dancing or go KTV with her old friends.

✓ I like to go hiking or diving in my spare time, but my grandmother usually goes square dancing or to KTV with her old friends.

Problems: 'I would like go' missing 'to' -> 'like to go' and inappropriate use of 'would' for habitual action; use present simple 'like' or 'usually'. Remove redundant subject 'for my grandmother she' and use 'my grandmother usually goes' for habitual actions. 'Go KTV' -> 'go to KTV'.