Rules— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors, which affect the natural flow and clarity. Try to respond directly to the question with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy, and use correct grammar. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas logically and provide specific details.

예시: Yes, there are several rules at my school. Recently, a new rule about hair coloring caused some debate. Teachers believe students should keep their hair natural, but many students argue that coloring their hair in natural shades does not affect their studies.

제안: Your answer addresses the question but is somewhat repetitive and contains awkward phrasing. To improve, start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repeating words unnecessarily, and use linking words to make your reasoning clearer. Also, try to use more precise vocabulary and correct grammar.

예시: I don't believe adding more rules would benefit students because teenagers often resist strict control. Therefore, they might rebel against new rules, which could distract them from focusing on their studies.

제안: Your answer is well-structured, clear, and detailed with good vocabulary and linking words. To improve further, you could add a concluding sentence to summarize your opinion and make the answer more complete and natural.

예시: Yes, I have a teacher who does her job exceptionally well. She is knowledgeable and builds strong relationships with students. For example, she encourages us to support each other and stay positive, which helps us succeed academically and personally. Overall, her dedication greatly motivates me to do my best.

× Students at your school.

✓ Students at my school.

The student mistakenly used 'your' instead of 'my' when referring to their own school. The pronoun should match the speaker's perspective, so 'my school' is correct.

× The teachers think it's wrong for students to call their hair a natural colors.

✓ The teachers think it's wrong for students to color their hair natural colors.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'call' instead of 'color' when referring to changing hair color. Also, 'a natural colors' is incorrect because 'colors' is plural and 'a' is singular. The correct phrase is 'color their hair natural colors.'

× Why do students do want to color their hair natural colors as they say it doesn't affect their learning habits?

✓ Why do students want to color their hair natural colors when they say it doesn't affect their learning habits?

The phrase 'do want' is redundant; only 'do' or 'want' is needed. Also, 'as' is better replaced with 'when' to indicate the reason. The corrected sentence is clearer and grammatically correct.

× because students, most teenager students are teenagers and teenagers don't take it lightly in trying to control their life.

✓ because most students are teenagers and teenagers don't take it lightly in trying to control their lives.

The phrase 'most teenager students are teenagers' is redundant and awkward. 'Students' is plural, so 'their lives' should be plural to match. The correction removes redundancy and fixes plural agreement.

× So I feel like they will more try to rebel than follow the rules and they would not be able to learn if they are too busy rebelling.

✓ So I feel like they will try to rebel more than follow the rules, and they will not be able to learn if they are too busy rebelling.

The adverb 'more' is incorrectly placed before the verb 'try.' It should come after the verb phrase 'try to rebel.' Also, 'would not' is changed to 'will not' to maintain consistent future tense.