Shoes— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and give a clear frequency using natural phrasing. Use linking words if adding reasons. Also correct plural/singular and verb forms.

예시: Yes, I enjoy buying shoes. I usually buy new pairs every three months because my old shoes wear out from daily use. Moreover, I like shoes that look nice and protect my feet, so I replace them regularly.

제안: Give a direct answer then explain with clear reasons and correct grammar. Use linking words (because, so) and avoid filler sounds like 'uh'. Be specific about experiences or concerns.

예시: Not often. I rarely buy shoes online because sizes can be inconsistent across brands, so it's hard to ensure a good fit. For that reason I prefer trying shoes on in a store before I buy them.

제안: State currency and give a clear topic sentence, then support with specific reasons and comparisons. Use linking words (because, while, however). Correct grammar (singular/plural, word order) and avoid repetition.

예시: I usually spend about 300 yuan on a pair of shoes. I find shoes under 300 tend to be low quality and wear out quickly, while those over 300 are often overpriced and not worth the extra cost.

제안: Answer directly, then explain with specific reasons using correct tense and natural phrasing. Use linking words (because, since) and give a brief example if possible. Avoid awkward expressions like 'prevent being hurt off my feet'.

예시: I prefer comfortable shoes because I am on my feet a lot every day. Since I work long hours, comfortable footwear prevents foot pain and fatigue, so I pay less attention to fashion and more to support and cushioning.

× I really like buying shoes because they they can decorate my feet and they are really useful for preventing my feet from being hurt.

✓ I really like buying shoes because they can decorate my feet and are useful for preventing my feet from getting hurt.

Repeated word 'they' is a typo and should be single 'they'. Also 'preventing my feet from being hurt' is awkward; use 'preventing my feet from getting hurt' or 'preventing injury to my feet'. Remove the second 'they' and simplify the clause for clarity.

× I usually buy them three months every three months when my feet foot worn out.

✓ I usually buy them every three months when my shoes wear out.

The original mixes 'feet' and 'foot' incorrectly and has redundant 'three months'. 'Shoes' (plural) wear out, not 'feet'. Use 'every three months' and 'when my shoes wear out' to express meaning correctly.

× I barely buy shoes online because you don't know the size of the shoes.

✓ I rarely buy shoes online because you don't know the size of the shoes.

'Barely' is incorrect here; it means almost not at all and is awkward. 'Rarely' fits typical frequency adverb use. Tense is present and acceptable; only word choice corrected.

× Uh, therefore you don't know the shoes that you buy online is sized up or sized down.

✓ Therefore you don't know whether the shoes you buy online are sized up or sized down.

The relative clause has subject-verb disagreement: 'shoes ... are' (plural). Insert 'whether' for clarity and use 'are' instead of 'is'. Also reorder to 'the shoes you buy online' for natural English.

× I usually spend about 300.

✓ I usually spend about 300 yuan.

The sentence lacks a unit (currency). Add the appropriate article or noun specifying the currency or 'dollars'/'yuan'. If currency is known, include it to be grammatical and clear.

× The shoes which costs lower than 300 have usually have the low quality and they are easy to wear out.

✓ Shoes that cost less than 300 usually have low quality and wear out easily.

Use 'shoes' (plural) with 'cost' (plural verb). 'Which' should be 'that' in restrictive clauses. Remove duplicated 'have' and adjust word order: 'wear out easily' is natural. Also use 'less than 300' not 'lower than' for amount.

× The shoes more than 300 have the low value for money.

✓ Shoes that cost more than 300 have low value for money.

Add 'that cost' to form a relative clause and use 'low value for money' or better 'poor value for money' depending on intended meaning. Keep plural agreement and correct word order.

× I prefer comfortable shoes. I usually worked a lot every day and the comfortable shoes can help me prevent being hurt off my feet and I barely put attention into fashion styles.

✓ I prefer comfortable shoes. I usually work a lot every day, and comfortable shoes help prevent my feet from getting hurt; I rarely pay attention to fashion styles.

'Worked' wrongly uses past tense; present simple 'work' matches 'usually' and current preference. 'Prevent being hurt off my feet' is ungrammatical; use 'prevent my feet from getting hurt'. 'Barely put attention' is incorrect—use 'rarely pay attention'. Also improve punctuation and flow.